kimberley388 0 Posted November 9, 2014 My fiancee is terrified that I'm going to die on the operating table. I'm having a gastric sleeve, and its relatively simple, but I've had such horrible health problems the past couple of years he is sure I'm going to die. My surgery is friday and he is a truck driver and left today. Any advice on how to calm him down? He's literally crying over it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happymama2014 206 Posted November 9, 2014 I was afraid if the same thing but my dr told me nobody died yet in all the cases he had done. That helped me a little. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bufflehead 6,358 Posted November 9, 2014 He should be freaked out and crying over the health issues looming due to your current weight, not about a surgery with a lower risk rate than gallbladder removal - especially since it is going to help improve your health immensely! I know it is human nature to fear an immediate risk rather than a long term risk, even when the long term risk is much more dangerous -- and it's hard to talk people out of it. I guess just keep telling him how low the rate of risk is and how much healthier you are going to be and how you are improving the odds for a long life by a lot by having this surgery. Good luck! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
thesuse2000 698 Posted November 9, 2014 Have you asked your surgeon for his/her statistics on complications including death? Always a good thing to know. I hate to say it but there is a small, but very real risk of death in the first month after surgery. Different studies have different rates, but I've seen from 1 in 500 to as high as 1 in 200. That's nothing to sneeze at! Those at greatest risk are those who are older, heavier and/ or who have other health problems. To be clear though - I think the majority of these deaths happen after surgery, not on the table, and many of those may be due to patients cheating on their post-op diet (eating solid foods too soon) and getting a leak, and not seeking medical help soon enough. So there is a lot within your control to keep yourself safe. One other important thing is - obesity carries major risks, and the odds of an early death with untreated obesity is far more likely than death from surgery. Obviously I made the decision that the risk/benefit profile was favorable, and I'm so glad I did, but it's still scary. I don't know what to say about your fiancée... Hopefully you can get positive stats from your surgeon that you can share with him. Otherwise he'll just have a rough week, but then will very likely receive reassurance sometime Friday that you're just fine. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BLERDgirl 6,417 Posted November 9, 2014 My fiancee is terrified that I'm going to die on the operating table. I'm having a gastric sleeve, and its relatively simple, but I've had such horrible health problems the past couple of years he is sure I'm going to die. My surgery is friday and he is a truck driver and left today. Any advice on how to calm him down? He's literally crying over it. It's okay to be nervous. It's still major surgery. I have a multitude of health problems as well. A laundry list of allergies, including a latex allergy. Last year I was intubated and put in a medical coma for 4 days due to a severe allergic reaction. I also have a benign tumor on my pituitary and had uterine cancer a little under 10 years ago. Truth is once you do your homework as far as the procedure and choosing a doctor, the only thing you can do is say a prayer and let go. I made sure to be as compliant a patient as possible to stack the deck in my favor. I was already exercising regularly, I don't smoke, only drink socially and followed the pre-op diet. I realized that the chances for an improved quality of life was worth the risk for me. You can give your boyfriend statistics up the wazoo. You can slow walk him through all the steps you are taking to ensure a positive outcome. It may work, it may not. If you are 100% sure this is the best move for you, I think the best thing to do is to explain that to him and tell him that you need his support for this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
heav85 123 Posted November 10, 2014 I was put to sleep for an emergency c section march 2013 and everything went fine afterwards. Except that my baby was born 3 months early and had to stay in the hospital for 3 months. No worries she's completely fine now but I was fine afterwards and I'm kinda putting the sleeve in the same category. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Garifab_VSG 122 Posted November 10, 2014 I'm glad you posted this, because the fear that I, myself, feel, is what has held me back for so long. I'm still dealing with it. I just keep thinking, we have a stomach the size we do for a reason, and do I really want to mess with that and permanently remove most of it? But the answer is, yes, my quality of life, and duration of life, depends on it. I know we tell ourselves whatever we need to to get by, but that's how it is for this particular moment in time, and I need to just go with it. I hope you have a successful surgery and easy recovery! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bajagal101 59 Posted November 10, 2014 I just wanted to say one or 2 things. Is your boyfriend afraid of change? just a thought ,you might want to reasure him that you will always be there for him and tell him you love him. This might help....Good luck. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
