Help--serious second thoughts

mokat76 · May 14, 2007

I'm starting to have serious second thoughts about going through with my banding (June 8). In addition to the considerable cost, since I'm self-pay, I picked up a copy of my center's pre- and post-op food plans today. As I read through it, all it could think of was it was way too extreme. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but no milk after I'm on "normal" food? A lifetime of food choices that sound like a monk would start complaining about the austerity? For all of you who have had the surgery and are doing well, is this (my freaking out) normal? How do you re-educate your tastes? How long does it take to adjust? How long before you can even hope to eat normal food so you don't look like a dietary freak show in public? I'm a very private person and really don't want to broadcast my surgery, but how do you get around that in the first several weeks?

Like many of you, I'm sure, food has always been a part of socializing. Do you get over that?

Thanks. Please help talk me off this ledge! :help:

marjon9 · May 15, 2007

I'm starting to have serious second thoughts about going through with my banding (June 8). In addition to the considerable cost, since I'm self-pay, I picked up a copy of my center's pre- and post-op food plans today. As I read through it, all it could think of was it was way too extreme. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but no milk after I'm on "normal" food? A lifetime of food choices that sound like a monk would start complaining about the austerity? For all of you who have had the surgery and are doing well, is this (my freaking out) normal? How do you re-educate your tastes? How long does it take to adjust? How long before you can even hope to eat normal food so you don't look like a dietary freak show in public? I'm a very private person and really don't want to broadcast my surgery, but how do you get around that in the first several weeks?
Like many of you, I'm sure, food has always been a part of socializing. Do you get over that?

Thanks. Please help talk me off this ledge! :help:

You should spend some time reading this forum on this particular question. Run some searches like "second thoughts." You'll see that most people have second thoughts before the surgery. Very few people avoid that phase.

Regarding your food questions, it's not that bad at all. Most people find that they can eat most normal foods, just in smaller portions. But the smaller portions is not based on "willpower," it is just that you get full much quicker. Depending on your doctor's post-op plan, you'll be on "normal" foods about 4 to 6 weeks after surgery. Many people also find that there are certain things they "can't eat." Some people can't eat bread, or fish, or chicken, etc. You'll find what works for you. But if you "can't eat" something, you'll find for the most part that you really just don't want it anymore.

Another thing that has come up a lot is how to avoid letting people know if you want to keep the surgery private. I managed to get the whole thing done without anyone at work knowing about it. I recommend that approach, but then, I'm a private person like you. But try to find threads on this forum where people have discussed how to attend parties and social events and what to say so you can keep things private.

The last thing I want to mention is that it's not really about "re-educating" your tastes. Once you get the band, most people find that they just start to prefer different things. You have to battle cravings a bit, but not nearly as much as you would think looking at the bandster menus. Mostly, you just eat less because you get full faster. Being hungry all the time is not what the band is all about. There may be some of that feeling in the few weeks you are on the post-op diet. But in general, you just get full faster.

Don't rush into the band if you are not ready. But just know that most people have the feelings you are having.

Once you get the band you will have to work at it a bit. If you just drink McDonald's milkshakes all day you can find a way to gain weight even if you have the band. But in general, the band is not about suffering and deprivation. It's there so you can control your food intake without having to feel the deprivation.

Evilah · May 15, 2007

I bet some of the anorexia web sites would have good ideas about how to hide your eating habits in public. I'm not joking, I am also afraid of how I'll look in public and how I will avoid eating without broadcasting the state of my lap-banded stomach to the world. At least I don't go to church luncheons anymore like I did when I was living at home, those were terrible. If you're too fat, then you couldn't look like you ate too much, if you're too thin then you have to look like you're eating alot. Someone inevitably asks you midbite if you've lost/gained weight. It's like the dentist asking you about your flossing habits while your mouth is propped open with a hand in it.

Evilah

WASaBubbleButt · May 15, 2007

Not sure why they say you can't have milk. You can, just in smaller quantities. Same with the majority of other foods.

But there is one thing you need to think about. In order to lose weight there is a trade off. You can't expect to eat the foods you did before and in the same quantity and lose weight. There are some foods you'll have to ... not give up, but cut down on one whole heck of a lot. The band isn't something that sucks the calories out of food.

It's really hard for banded people to accept the fact that they HAVE to change habits to lose weight. For example, bread. Most banded people I know can't eat bread. I mean EVER again. Do you want to eat bread or do you want to be thin?

It is something only you can decide. There is no right or wrong answer. Just your answer.

juliegeraci · May 15, 2007

If I remember correctly my doctor has me on the post op diet for about 4-6 weeks until I could get back on solids. Now that I have been banded almost a year I can eat anything, just less of it. I just ate a salmon fish taco on a flour tortilla. I could only get down about 2-3 bites and had to wait. It took me about 45-60 minutes to finish the entire thing. You will just have to slow down your eating and your Portion Control. Other than that, I drink wine and eat anything I want...just less of it!:hungry:

TracyinKS · May 15, 2007

After you are healed it will be a complete Your Mileage Will Vary issue on what you can tolerate or not....... my doc said the only thing I HAVE to give up is whitey doughy bread, but as soon as he said that, someone stood up and said they can tolerate it just fine... (especially if you leave your band more open)

Another thing is that you will be FULL sooner and you won't miss the food. I just went to the land of buffets over the weekend and although I have NOT had a fill yet....... I ate 1 plate of food instead of the 3-4 I could normally put away..... and I was full (really full)