How to deal with fat friends

[Garifab_VSG 122]

I'm apt to think that a friend is not a "true" friend if they can't be happy for you when you better yourself. I mean, I get wanting to be able to relate to someone, but to go through the roof with jealousy when a friend becomes healthier? That's sad. I hope your friendship can survive this

[Garifab_VSG 122]

Oh, and if I were in your shoes, I would bust that egg wide open right off the bat and let her know now.

I used to be that person who said I would never have weight loss surgery. But once I had about 4-5 people around me have it, it started to appear as more of an option. Knowledge is power, and those people sharing their stories convinced me it's not so bad.

That being said, I'm still on the side of the fence where I won't be broadcasting it myself to anyone other than close friends and family, but that's just how I feel at this point in time (pre-surgery, no surgery date even scheduled yet.) Anything can change.

[Camarolegend 185]

One thing about my one fat friend...he has been given some very nice clothes that are too big for me. I wore nice clothes too...primarily Polo. He appreciates it too. Haha. To clarify none of my good friends are fat so it's a work friend that is reaping the benefits. I'm having to wear the cheap stuff now until I get to my goal size. No more big and tall in my future. Woot woot!

[SuperDave 1,115]

I told those who I consider to be true friends from the start of this whole process. The reactions, from both the fat and skinny ones was mostly positive. If anyone has a problem with me doing what is best for me, I would consider them more excess weight that I need to drop.

[downsizingdiva 459]

This is an interesting topic, and one that I've been thinking about in my own situation. I am still in the very pre-op stage, so probably 4 or 5 months out from having the surgery. I haven't said a word about this to my overweight best friend of 30 years. She has been very jealous of any weight loss success I have had from dieting in the past. I am usually the heavier one of the two of us, but I have gotten smaller than her a few times, and she certainly does NOT like it. She is a competitive person by nature, so I think she just can't stand me being the smaller one. Of course, my weight has always come back, and it's surprising how much nicer to me she is when I fail. Come to think of it, my own mother is like this too. I guess misery loves company...it's hard to see people succeed where we cannot. I love this friend like a sister, but I'm scared to tell her about my potential surgery, because it will probably send her through the roof with jealousy. Of course, she is free to go have surgery herself, but has said many times that she isn't willing to go that route. So, I'm really debating whether to tell her or not. She doesn't live in the same state as me, and we only see each other every few years. Do I go ahead with the surgery and then really knock her socks off the next time we see each other? Or, do I tell her, so she doesn't feel like I did something so major without sharing it with her? I don't want to lose our long friendship over this, but I feel like my weight loss will really change the dynamics of our friendship anyway. We've always been able commiserate over "fat girl problems"...it will be really different if one of us is no longer heavy.

Does anyone have any similar experiences they'd like to share?

My opinion...if it were me...i wouldn't tell.

[livvsmum 2,369]

I've told people on a case by case basis. Only a few friends know, and that's the decision I've made. When asked by others, I give them an honest answer. I have increased my Protein intake, drastically cut carbs, and I started running....A LOT. Honestly at 1 year out, those things are the things that are keeping the weight off now, not necessarily the surgery, so I don't feel dishonest in that response. I'm always surprised by messages I get from friends too saying that my journey has encouraged them to make changes in their lives too. It doesn't have to be all about the surgery, because honestly, it's about SO much more than that.