Any Fun Hospital Stories?

[filmgal 45]

No really funny stories. By the time I had the by-pass it was my third surgery in just over a year. August 2013 to remove my lap band in an emergency surgery, March 2014, first new knee, October 2014 Roux n y by-pass. The good news is I am doing well. Healing well. I also seem to be able to follow the plan, maybe I finally just got smarter.

I am enjoying the funny stories though. I can identify!

[Trillium 50]

When I woke in the recovery, it was the middle of the night and very quiet. I wanted to pee. A bumbling but sweet guy who may have been a janitor helped me drag my IV pole to the bathroom. Left alone, I had to steady myself against the wall. The pain meds were working just fine.

When I was settled into bed again, a handsome male nurse entered and asked if I needed to use the bathroom.

"I went already."

"Oh. Did you use the hat?"

"I used the toilet."

He laughed and showed me the plastic measurement thing the orderly should have given me.

"No worries. We can do an ultrasound of your bladder."

So I lay there high as a kite as McDreamy lifted my gown and massaged gel onto my pubic bone. Is my bladder really that low, I thought. And then, gee, this is not the worst place to be. Not at all.

After he got his data and cleaned me up, he helped me into my robe and we took a few laps around the floor, past the dark rooms and empty nurses station. He joked that I walked faster than most of the staff. As we looped the floor, arm in arm, we chatted about our diets and fitness regimens and vacation dreams. Then he put me back to bed, gently replacing my socks, folding my robe, adjusting my pillows.

His smile was like Christmas morning.

I'm sure I'm not the first or the last to fall a little bit in love with the night nurse.

[shawnee1973 26]

I remember a few funny things. First off, when the staff was wheeling me into my surgery they kept saying things like" She's a tiny little thing. This is going to be a piece of cake" First time I had ever heard that at 237 lbs but I will take it..lol. Now on the day of my surgery I was on the last day of my period. I used an extra absorbent feminine product and told my husband to remind me to change it out of surgery. When they were waking me up while wheeling me into recovery, I heard a couple of the male interns nearly screaming asking what was wrong with me. I guess I never factored in the blood thinners because it looked like someone had been butchered under that gown. Thank god a female nurse kindly said, No worries, it happens". When I did wake up, it took them about 20 minutes to get me some pain medication. The pain was excruciating!!! So much so, that that I guess I held my breath for a while cause the staff ran up to me yelling she's not breathing. I just took a big breath and apologized. Haha..that hurried them up a bit! It's now day 4 post surgery. I'm drinking lots of Water, taking no more pain meds, getting in my Protein and on the treadmill 3 times a day! Life is good!

Hw 254

Sw 237

Cw 232

[joi221 5]

I don't remember this but was told later, after they wheeled me into the operating room and the entire team was there, they sang happy birthday to me. No it wasn't my birthday, but they consider it your new birthday, a new beginning.