Already a failure

[easymack63 18]

I got sleeved on 10/14 and I already feel like I messed everything up. I am so disappointed in myself.

In the first 8 days I was still on just liquids and I lost 16 pounds. It seemed great!

Then I made some bad choices. I had some nibbles of a cheeseburger (meat only) and even a little bit of Jello shots on Halloween (not enough to get drunk). I am on soft foods but have had things like 1/4 of a piece of toast with my cream of wheat or 1/2 a piece of bread to make a mini crab dip sandwich. I also eat Protein bars already, just slowly and chewing VERY well. Are these things allowed? Am I screwing up my healing? I havent had any repercussions from it, which is scary.

Im also worried that I eat too much. Like today I had a Protein shake with a whole cup of almond milk, 1/4 cup crab dip with 1/2 piece of bread, a string cheese, 1/4 cup of fat free refried Beans with a little cheese and sour cream, and a Protein Bar. 700 calories and 63 grams of Protein, but is it too much? Am I stretching out my sleeve? I always feel like I could have even more!

And to compound things, when I weighed in last week I had GAINED almost 2 pounds! I think I've lost it since then but still!

I just feel like a mess, like I cant even do this right and Im not actually going to lose any weight. Like Im going to be one of those people who just falls flat on their faces right after surgery and never even has a honeymoon period.

Please tell me that's not true.

[swimbikerun 1,045]

Ok first thing: are you still with the surgeon? Talk to them about how you feel. At this close far out, lay it on the line for them that you want help. They should be supporting you.

What can we do in terms of being far away to help? KUDO's to you for saying I think I have a problem and being willing to ask for help. Do you need encouragement? How about doing other things than thinking about food? What about Clear Liquids? Your body still needs those this far out.

[cdenney123 103]

We have the same date. I have not had solids yet but Im getting hungry more and more since I first got out of the hospital. I have 2 Protein shakes a day, Soup, yogert and cream of wheat for the day. Im not sure if thats too much either I have to waite for my next appointment to see what else I can eat.

[easymack63 18]

Im doing a good job with Water. So far today I've had 55 ounces and still going. I have an appointment with a nut and bariatric doctor soon and plan to discuss this stuff, but to be honest I dont see what they or anyone else can do for me. It all comes down to me making the choice about what to put in my mouth.

I think what I wanted from posting was to know if you guys think these are real problems or if I am imagining them. I mean obviously I know the burger and booze were not great, but Im primarily concerned with the amount of food Im eating. Is that normal? I'm on the soft foods menu, per my doctor.

[gaudjosl 22]

I don't think you are over eating at all! You're sleeve will tell you for real when ur done or what you can't handle. I was sleeved October 16th so I'm not an expert but eggs just got introduced and I can do egg salad but not scrambled eggs. I had my first oh no I might vomit feeling from scrambled...I've had some beefaroni and even beef chunky Soup. We have such small portions and as long as we focus on Protein and liquids we will rock this! Don't weigh weekly. Just focus on learning how to work with ur new stomach. It's like being a baby. You got this!

[GreenEyes604 753]

@easymack63 CALL YOUR DOCTOR!!! Don't wait for an appointment, pick up the phone and CALL THEM!!!

You have yourself identified some issues that you know are not in your best interest, and you'll already telling yourself that the things you are doing are wrong. CALL YOUR DOCTOR!!! These are concerns and issues that your doctor should know about right away. Those of here on the boards can offer you all kinds of encouragement and support, but your doctor needs to be the one who is guiding you in the direction you need to go.

I promise you that you'll be more angry with yourself if you don't speak with your doctor and something goes wrong. DON'T WAIT! Put your mind at rest, and update your doctor on what you are going through.

[GreenEyes604 753]

Oh and stop telling yourself you're a failure. YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE! You are adjusting to a completely new way of life. Everyone makes mistakes and not the best choices, but that does not make you a failure. Pick yourself up, brush your shoulders off, and keep on truckin'

It's never to late to start doing the right thing!

[Isaac420 2]

You are not a failure!!! You've already accomplished a lot. The biggest thing for me was realizing that this awful burden for me was no longer an issue. One way or another, the weight is coming off, and

I never have to worry about it again for the rest of my LIFE!

The freedom I feel is impossible to explain. Being fat determined my identity and my of feeling of worth. It was so difficult to move through space. It is impossible NOT to lose weight. You don't say how old you are, but if you are still having your periods this could account for your 2 pound gain. In any case, I agree with the other posters that you should consult with your physician and share your concerns with him. One year from now you will recognize this period for what it is: the initial adjustment period that occurs when you make a giant decision and move like the one you did.

You are going to be just fine. Please trust me.

Shoshana

[*Lexie* 1,486]

Your post sounded a lot like what was going through my mind just a few weeks ago. Everyone who has posted is correct. You paid a crapload of money for your surgery so don't be afraid to call your surgeon's office.

When I first started eating, I was getting overfull and was afraid I was eating too much. Combine that with a stall that is completely normal and I was a freaking basket case. I was sure I was a big, fat failure, etc, etc. But now I have figured out how to eat without getting overly full and I feel much better. I am also so much more healed and can do more of a workout which also makes me feel better.

Personally, I agree that most of this is just adjusting to change and it creates a lot of anxiety. Hang in there and instead of critizing yourself, look in the mirror every day and say at least one good thing about yourself.

[stephh 634]

I was sleeved the day before you. I agree, that you should call your Dr. I did want you to know though that I also gained nearly two pounds in one day last week, before I started soft foods. (I had a weight loss of nearly 18 pounds before then) There is no way 400 calories should make anyone gain weight! I FINALLY just start losing again, after 9 days of being in a stall. Hang in there, call your doctor, and I know the weight will start coming off again. Also, I agree with Lexie. Look in the mirror, and say something nice about yourself! Let me start: Mack is honest, and not afraid to tell someone (s)he needs help!

[Zane's Mom 184]

I'm just going to put it out there. I was just like you. I started Protein bars early out. I never had a problem with them. Never. I just stopped them last week at 4 & 1/2 months.

I did nibble on many things and still do. I've tried everything (no alcohol -I don't drink).

But sometimes I've been so frustrated feeling so blah I just want to feel comfortable. I haven't denied myself anything I do want.

I've had popcorn at the movies, Halloween candy, rice Pasta, breads, casseroles and I've been ok. Not every meal and of course in small amounts.

I don't feel like a failure, and I know others out there will respond shocked. If you want to talk more message me.

[pinkbunies 359]

It sounds like you hit a stall. I don't think you have failed. I've been cheating too but I'm still losing weight. It is slowing down a little bit for me so I'm trying to stick to the diet plan. Your weight loss may slow down but you will still lose weight. I'd suggest you stop weighing often and only weigh every other week. When you get a craving for food, try other things like drinking Water or taking a walk.

Do anything you can to break old habits.

[easymack63 18]

Thank you so much for responding, everybody. I think its mostly just what Isaac420 and Lexie said. First of all, I'm adjusting to all of these huge changes and dealing with the uncertainty that comes from that. Then also I find it SO difficult to just let it go. I mean obviously not 100% let it go, but I have spent my WHOLE LIFE worrying about what Im eating and obsessing over it. Now I find it difficult to just sit back, follow the guidelines (more or less), and trust that things will work out.

Also thank so much Zane's Mom - it is such a relief to hear that there are people here who don't always make the perfect decisions and work out for an hour everyday and rain judgment down on those who cant manage it. I really appreciate it.

[swimbikerun 1,045]

We've ALL made a mistake or two in our lifetime.

[tazpur74 2]

I was sleeved on the 14th of October. And I also feel like I'm not doing what I should be doing. I'm getting those spurs of hunger that I'm grazing. I should be on a pureed diet but I find myself eating solids. I haven't 4 any lbs in a couple of weeks. I feel like returning to my old self.