How do you respond to, "Wow, it looks like you're still losing" or "How much more weight are you planning to lose?"

[downsizingdiva 459]

I THINK I'VE GOT IT! WHEN THEY ASK ME THE PERSONAL WEIGHT QUESTIONS IN AN OFFENSIVE WAY I THINK I'LL REPLY WITH SOMETHING LIKE, "WELL I'M NOT SURE, WOULD YOU LIKE TO TALK ABOUT YOUR PERSONAL ISSUES INSTEAD?" MAN, I'M REALLY DREADING THIS, STILL LOOKING FOR THE ONE-LINER. I KNOW I WILL BE ASKED HOW MUCH HAVE YOU LOST - STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. NOT SURE, PLENTY, A TON, ENOUGH, A LITTLE, I NEED A REALLY GOOD ONE LINER TO STICK WITH.

[gottagonow 82]

I hear ya! People typically ask me what I did. I say it took a lot of work. But I am completely sick of it. A few people have told me to stop losing weight. I wasn't the typical size for this surgery so I think people think I'm having issues or whatever.

I never thought I'd see this day, but I really do hate the comments. By saying it took a lot of work and sometimes I even say it wasn't all intentional (co-workers, stressful job) shuts them right up!

[sandisleeve 563]

People can be nasty and straight rude or condescending about weight loss ...I even had a fellow wls patient make hurtful comments directed at me obviously due to her post wls lack of weight loss progression

Ie: I don't want to lose too fast and have a bobble head OR I don't want to have too much loose skin that's why I make sure I don't lose too fast. ???? I'm sorry but most wls patient can't really fully control the speed of loss especially within the first 6-8 months and thankfully I have very little to no loose skin at all. i didn't expect to lose as fast as I did simply because I didn't start off awfully high (~ 240 at 5'7" on dec 12, 2013) I lost 20 a few months prior to vsg and a total of about 50 net loss from my all time high prior to vsg. HW 293, surgery 240. Current 163-168, original goal was 175 which I got to at only 4.5 months out but now I wish for 155-160????

Other colleague comments:

- how much weight did u lose exactly?

- when did you start losing exactly?

- you will soon disappear.

- you lost half of yourself.

- DONT lose anymore! Black people aren't meant to be skinny. ????????????????????

- are you ok?

-are you "going overboard" with not eating?

-you look like a size XXS!

- so you lost all that weight from taking spin classes ???? only? Wow, spin classes must be magical!

- what the hell did you do? The GASTRIC BYPASS! ????????????????????

Some Family&friend comments:

- don't u think you are "skinny enough" now?

- so what are you now? A size 2 or a size 0?

- well don't give away all of your big clothes cause you might gain the weight back like before.

Lol, smh, ugh ???????? there are more comments but I'm getting aggravated just thinking about them

Some people are very pleasant and continuously remind me how good I look which I do appreciate. Share what u like with folks when u are ready, only a handful of people know I did it or have heard from me personally that I had it done. It's none if anyone else's business. Good luck!

Close to my highest back in 2009 compared to my current weight is pictured above

Edited November 9, 2014 by sandisleeve

[bikrchk 1,313]

I tend to not answer specifically anymore. I've been in my goal range (BMI of about 23) for 5 months now. 1 month ago I decided to go ahead and take off another 10 pounds, which will put me at 135, or 21.8 BMI, (still right in the middle of the healthy zone). The comments are starting up again, (just got one today), as I've dropped 5 of those last 10 pounds. You know what? No one needs to know what I weigh today, any more than they needed to know when I was 235 pounds! I usually say, "Thank you, I've never felt better in my life and my Dr. is pleased with my progress!"

It's kinda funny... WE have body dismorphia and feel bigger than we are. I think our friends and acquaintances have it too, in the OTHER direction. They've seen us big for so long, they can no more see what "healthy" looks like than we can.

Edited November 10, 2014 by bikrchk

[JackieBrown 183]

This topic is great. I so look forward to losing weight, but I do not look forward to the nosiness. And so, what I've been thinking about doing is brushing it off, as if I were on one of my fad diets, like: "Thanks. So far so good." Or, "I'm still working on it," and then smile and drop the subject.

Besides, I've found that most people much prefer to talk about themselves, so immediately ask about their lives.

Busybodies like that office co-worker who insists on prying should just be shut down. These people are clueless and should just be ignored.

[MichiganChic 3,262]

I tend to not answer specifically anymore. I've been in my goal range (BMI of about 23) for 5 months now. 1 month ago I decided to go ahead and take off another 10 pounds, which will put me at 135, or 21.8 BMI, (still right in the middle of the healthy zone). The comments are starting up again, (just got one today), as I've dropped 5 of those last 10 pounds. You know what? No one needs to know what I weigh today, any more than they needed to know when I was 235 pounds! I usually say, "Thank you, I've never felt better in my life and my Dr. is pleased with my progress!"

It's kinda funny... WE have body dismorphia and feel bigger than we are. I think our friends and acquaintances have it too, in the OTHER direction. They've seen us big for so long, they can no more see what "healthy" looks like than we can.

I agree - others can't seem to stop comparing us to our former selves, as opposed to what is normal. I think society in general has "fat brain" and we've lost site of a normal weight is. We rail against too thin, pretend, air-brushed models, we rail against obesity, but we don't seem to have a gauge of normal thin appearance.