How do you respond to, "Wow, it looks like you're still losing" or "How much more weight are you planning to lose?"

[Comfy_Blue 285]

I'm one of those people who didn't carry excess weight very well (hello Chipmunk cheeks, triple chin and roll upon roll of neck fat!), so when i hit the 50 lbs weight loss mark, quite a few people noticed. Now that I'm a member of the Century Club, EVERYONE notices (or they don't realize I'm the same person until someone points it out to them. LOL). Anyway, I mainly get compliments.

However, what I'm having trouble dealing with are evasive comments that make me feel awkward. It'll be things like:

1. "How much more weight are you planning to lose?"

2. "Wow, looks like you're STILL losing."

3. "How much further are you planning to go?"

4. "Pretty soon we're not going to be able to see you!"

5. * coworker sees me running copies at the machine and half eating my lunch* "Oh, so THAT'S how you stay so skinny! You stay busy!"

I know there's a lot of sarcastic/nasty responses I could, but most of the people commenting are my coworkers, and I don't want to cause trouble for myself at work by snapping at someone.

Also, I don't get the sense that most of them are trying to be rude/nasty because when I was on the otherside, if I saw someone go from a size 20/22 to a size 3/4, I can see myself saying all of those things. And I am by no means a rude/mean/obnoxious/extremely nosy person. I would just be curious or trying to make conversation.

Any suggestions?

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Here are a couple of possible responses:

Thank you for noticing. I feel great.

Thanks for the encouragement. I feel great.

Thank you. It's been a long time since I've felt so well.

My body and my doctor will let me know when I'm "done."

[joatsaint 2,814]

I know where you're coming from, it took me many months to get used to the "you sure are losing weight" comments. I finally settled on just saying Thanks. Whenever anyone asked me how much more I was going to lose, I'd just say I wanted to get to x and then I'd reevaluate my goals if wasn't satisfied.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I would smile and thank them and tell how great you feel. If they persist in asking how much more to lose, lie and say you are focused on maintaining a healthy weight range now.

Btw, 22-23 is a great BMI range looks wise for most women.

[GreenEyes604 753]

A lot of people probably would not agree with my approach to answering these types of questions.

I think a big part of how we feel about responding to questions of this nature is based on what type of relationship that we have built with the individuals who are asking these questions. For me in my workplace, I have from the very beginning established a great wall between my professional life, and my personal life. Every one of my co-workers would know right off the bat not to ask me anything about what's considered "personal", because that's the way I prefer it to be.

If someone were to even approach me with questions like these, I would politely look at them and ask, "Why would you ask me such a personal question?" I guarantee you they won't ask you anymore. You don't have to be mean, nasty, or anything derogatory, I just don't feel the need or necessity to discuss my health, or anything else regarding my personal life with just anyone.

Now when they come to me and say, "Michelle we really would like to know how you're losing so much weight, and how much more you plan to lose, because we're going to start paying all your bills from now on", THEN you might get me to start spilling my personal business. But until that time, mind your own business, not mine.

[mick 99]

I'm glad to hear my co workers say nice things about my weight loss. Bring it on! I just don't want to go to the extreme so that i look all sucked up and people begin to tell me I am losing too much weight. I have said that about other friends of mine.

That was one of the major problems with being so over weight. "You need to lose weight" "Being that heavy is not good for you"

We do care what other folks think about us. Especially the looks without a comment. You know what I mean. They look at your size and you can tell by the look on their face what they are thinking.

I thought I would never hear those comments about my weight loss. Trapped and destined to die grossly overweight.

I do want others to notice my progress.

Be happy!

Edited November 2, 2014 by mick

[Ainsleet 67]

1. "How much more weight are you planning to lose?" I am under my Doctors care and we are working that out together.

2. "Wow, looks like you're STILL losing." Yes, I am so happy.

3. "How much further are you planning to go?" Same as #1

4. "Pretty soon we're not going to be able to see you!" I know, right? I love it. Thanks for noticing.

5. * coworker sees me running copies at the machine and half eating my lunch* "Oh, so THAT'S how you stay so skinny! You stay busy!" No, that is only part of it. The other part is a lot of HARD WORK.

Try to get some automated responses. I heard, Don't lose any more weight, you are too thin.

Don't try to think about why they say it. Some are good reasons, some are hurtful, jealous reasons. Doesn't matter, they don't know what to say. Even the people that are trying to be nice. In general people don't like change. Good luck with this.

I

[pinkbunies 359]

I'm so tired of people telling me I'm going to lose too much weight. It shows how ignorant they are.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I do think it depends on the relationship, but I have LOVED the support and "oohs and ahhs" I have gotten. I can't describe how motivational it was to hear over a year ago, pre plastics, from women coworkers younger than me that I had a "hot body". I never had a hot bod when I was young, so it was a real confidence builder. I guess I am a little vain (though I try not to show it) but I love it when someone compliments my clothes and admires that I look good in "Everything". Are the jealous? Maybe, but mostly I think they are so happy for me. i have worked for the same company for over 20 years and for most of that time have looked fairly crappy to be honest. I think they share my joy that I have lost weight and am maintaining. I welcome it.

Now, one of my sisters and her daughter were convinced I was too thin. They staged a little intervention..ha.. talking to me about "stopping losing". I felt that as a sis and niece who geniunely love me and care about my well being, I owed them the conversation. They have never seen me normal sized - I have been overweight or obese since about age 5, with maybe 2 weeks when I was in my 20s when I was normal sized. Anyway, when I told them my actual weight - they were in disbelief. At the time i weighed 150 and they both thought I was like 125 and losing. I think after talking it through, and talking about how I monitor my health, blood work and all that stuff... they felt relieved and never said anything about it again. In fact, even though I have been at maintenance awhile, those two always marvel how good I look and continue to give me kudos. I think they were really fearful for my health and sharing factual information put that to rest.

It is our own business and we should each choose to share how we see fit. I do not discuss how much I lost or my current weight with most people. I do sort of realize though that I weigh less than half my former size - a mega transformation and it takes people awhile to adjust.

I am noticing that many people I work with don't really remember I was huge before... funny... I have been at goal for almost 2 years and for some people, that memory replaces the previous 20.

[alwaysvegas 702]

I like to emphasize by saying "healthy weight" often when discussing my weight loss results. And that's to keep in MY head that the surgery isn't about being skinny or looking great in clothes, it's about not dying from obesity and living a full life.

I've had so many supportive comments, but I still emphasize "healthy" and not "skinny" or "thin."

[MommyMeghan 92]

People are very good at unsolicited advice & being totally inappropriate. I'm not sure they even realize. Do your coworkers know you had surgery? If so, I'd use it as an opportunity to educate them. People have started to really notice my weight loss & so far I'm thankful for the compliments

[Comfy_Blue 285]

1. "How much more weight are you planning to lose?" I am under my Doctors care and we are working that out together.

2. "Wow, looks like you're STILL losing." Yes, I am so happy.

3. "How much further are you planning to go?" Same as #1

4. "Pretty soon we're not going to be able to see you!" I know, right? I love it. Thanks for noticing.

5. * coworker sees me running copies at the machine and half eating my lunch* "Oh, so THAT'S how you stay so skinny! You stay busy!" No, that is only part of it. The other part is a lot of HARD WORK.

Try to get some automated responses. I heard, Don't lose any more weight, you are too thin.

Don't try to think about why they say it. Some are good reasons, some are hurtful, jealous reasons. Doesn't matter, they don't know what to say. Even the people that are trying to be nice. In general people don't like change. Good luck with this.

I

Thank you to everyone for the great comebacks! I really like what I've been seeing. I want to have a response other than to laugh or smile awkwardly. These are all so simple but so effective!!

[MichiganChic 3,262]

@@Comfy_Blue I also got all those comments, and more. How I responded depended on who was asking. I worked at the same place for 30 years, since I was a teen. They saw me go from a cute young thing to an old, fat woman. They never commented to my face negatively about my weight gain, and I think the comments and questions were born out of two reasons: 1)Genuine happiness for me, and/or 2) They wanted to know what my magic bullet was.

Even my non work friends, who mostly are thin or at least not very overweight (but work at not getting huge), wanted to know what I was doing. I told the people I was closest to that I had WLS, and the not the others. In both cases, I was forthcoming about my diet and exercise. I think it's funny, because there was always a little disappointment when they learned (in both cases) that it was still just diet and exercise, lol.

It is not socially acceptable for people to ask why we are so fat, but it seems once we start losing, all bets are off. It's just the way society is, and I think it's probably because losing weight is "better", ergo, a compliment to mention it. Right or wrong, I think it's a cultural thing.

[pippinleicester 78]

Well speaking only for myself, I will be really hacked off if people don`t remark on my weightloss.

I just think people are by nature curious and mean no offence.Pippinleicester.

[Bobby46 327]

I get....I can tell your losing, so how much have you lost so far? How much do you weigh? How much more do you have to lose? The same person asks me these questions at least twice a week, if not more! Good grief! And I respond with...I only discuss my weight with my doctor because he's the only person that needs to know. Then I smile at her really big until she gets uncomfortable and walks away. (she's the one that gets on everyone's nerves in the office) Just about everyone else in the office has gotten the hint or knows me well enough that they don't ask. I get comments like....you look great....or love your hair....or something nice that says they are noticing without them saying ..hey, you're not as fat as you used to be!