Struggling with the decision to have WLS

[bebop09 12]

Hi everyone-

I've been lurking here on this site and reading every tidbit I can find about WLS in hopes my decision will be clear...but it's not any clearer now that it was a few weeks ago. This journey started at my last physical when my Dr suggested I really give WLS some thought and referred me to a local seminar. It just so happened that the seminar was the next day so I went, and have been in a daze ever since. Logically, I KNOW I can't continue on the unhealthy path I am on and I now believe that WLS is a more powerful tool that I previously understood..but my shame is talking very loudly in my ear. I'm struggling because I'm afraid I will fail....AGAIN. I'm struggling because I don't want to admit I need to take such a drastic measure. I've been living in my little world of denial far too long and hearing my Drs strongly suggesting this option is like getting smacked upside the head. I am having a hard time accepting my reality and scared of saying yes. I'd appreciate your thoughts!

bebop09

[Recycled 2,182]

The reason it's a struggle is because it's a risky undertaking and not an easy decision. The good news is that getting approved for the surgery is a process that can take quite a while. Nothing is lost by moving forward with the approval process and using the time to hash over all the pros and cons along the way. It's not a decision you have to make right now. Good luck.

[bebop09 12]

Funny you should say that because its exactly what I am doing! Just wish I was feeling stoked, not reluctant. Thanks for responding!

[BellaLuce4 261]

I was you 5 Years ago. I went to the seminar and had my first appt with the Doctor and NUT. I never went back.

5 years later I weighed pretty much the same. I went up, down and back up in weight over and over.

This year I finally admitted to myself that I could not do it on my own and began my WLS journey all over again.

Started back at the same doctors in April and had the Sleeve done 9/16.

I only have 1 regret... I wish in did it 5 years ago!!! What a waste of 5 very unhealthy years of my life.

Also, there are very few pics of me. I'm always taking the pics cause I don't want to be in them. My kids graduated 8th grade, HS and college. I had so many wonderful family and friend events and when we did photo albums this summer it was like I wasn't even there !!! How sad!!

It is a personal decision only you can make for yourself. But make your decision based on facts, not embarrassment that you can't do it on your own like me.

My stats:

HW 251 ( this summer and 5 yrs ago)

SW 228

CW 207

My waste is already down 10 inches from 51 this summer to 41 this week????

No regrets here????????????????

[Jacqbult 112]

I m getting my Sleeve the 24th. I too feel the same way. I look forward to getting skinny but feel like a total loser that it has come to this because I could not do it on my own. I am confident this is the answer .Buddy up with me and I let you know everything.It will be okay, just start and back out later if uhave too.

[MauiGirl5555 38]

@@bebop09 I could have written the same exact post. I am afraid of failure. I am afraid to admit loud to people that I had so little control that I had to have most of my stomach cut out. I dont have much faith in myself. My head is spinning. I take comfort that other people struggle with the decision also. I was at a support group 2 days ago and a woman was so happy to receive her surgery date of Dec 17th she said she cant stop talking about it with anyone who crosses her path. I wish I could be as happy and as ready as she seems. I have only told 2 people I am considering surgery. I wont tell anyone else unless I have to. I have done all the steps my insurance requires. I just had my EGD yesterday. My next appointment with my DR is Thursday and it is at that time where he will submit to insurance and make a pre op plan. I am so scared. My husband is a nurse and his thought process is that it will make me healthier and that I have had plenty of time to do it on my own and now I need the surgery. I know with my brain that he is right....but my emotional side doesnt isnt so sure I am ready to do this.

I get comfort and support from many posts on this site and I am thankful for that. This can be a lonely journey. Nobody can do the work for us....we have to do it.

Thanks everyone for listening.

[gabbykittyvsg 184]

I've had a lot of the same feelings, even while going through the whole 6+ month process.What mostly settled those feelings was thinking about all the stuff I've been through in the past 6 years. During that time things didn't get better until I accepted help. I wasn't in a healthy state of mind and it took 4 years to finally ask for help in one final area, the psychological weight taken off my shoulders made life so much easier.

I had thought about surgery a few years ago but I was not ready and I know it wouldn't have worked for me, I had to get everything else in order first. Earlier this year I started seeing ads for a new program at the hospital near me. My weight had gone back up to my previous high. Just as I had given up the fight in other areas in my life and accepted help I gave up the fight to lose weight on my own and started on the road to get a sleeve. My experiences the past 6 years have been a huge help and without them I wouldn't be the ideal patient my program team says I've been. I'm choosing to think of this pre-op time as a chance to grow and learn more about myself. Yes, there have been periods of doubt but then something would happen to remind me why I need to accept help losing weight and that help is in the form or surgery. I got insurance approval 9 days ago and I'm scheduled to be sleeved on the 19th.

Go through the process and take advantage of the resources available to learn more about yourself. In the end you may decide surgery is not right for you at this time and that's ok, just don't waste the time!

[auntiemel 275]

I was like you a few years ago. At my heaviest I was 337 pounds. Every year I kept gaining. I tried south beach, weight watchers, Jenny Craig, dr phil's diet, the Apple shape diet, slim fast and other diets. I could never stick to them and when I lost a few pounds I would gain back double.

My grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and parents have all struggled with obesity. My surgeon actually said that genetically, I was wired to hold onto fat. I have watched my maternal aunt gain and lose hundreds of pounds over the years. My mom lost 100 lbs on her own, but she now drinks a lot.

In 2012, I went to a surgical clinic in Everett, went through all the nutrition visits and psychological testing, and was approved for surgery. Unfortunately, I woke up from surgery and was told he couldn't do the surgery because my liver was too big. I was so disappointed. I ended up gaining more weight over the next year and was at my highest of 337.

In January of this year, I went to PSSC in Edmonds and met with Dr. Landerholm, I told him about my previous attempt and he told me not to give up hope.

I went through 6 months of nutrition visits and another psychological test and had surgery on 9/22/14. The first time I had to do an1 week pre-op diet and this surgeon normally does two weeks, but I did 3 just to be sure my liver was shrunk.

I woke up and was so glad that my surgery was done. My doc actually said he didn't know why the other doctor couldn't do the surgery, but at least it is done now.

I have lost 27 pounds since 9/22 and love my sleeve. It honestly has stopped my overeating in its tracks. I can only eat small portions and they are very filling. A few bites of chicken and I feel stuffed. Before, I was like a bottomless pit and could eat thanksgiving dinner and be hungry an hour later.

I feel like I'm now eating to live, not living to eat. I'm down to a weight I haven't been in 7 or 8 years. None of my pants fit and I can't wait until I can walk into any store and buy clothes.

It will be a long road and I will more than likely have skin removed down the road, but it will be worth it to run and hopefully have kids, which is one of the reasons I had this surgery. I've been married for 13 years and haven't been able to have kids and the docs say it's weight causing anovulation. So hopefully in the next 2 years I will have a baby ????

I hope you choose the best option for yourself. Many choose between sleeve and bypass now. I'm not much of a sweets eater just a volume eater.

Good luck

[Wynnie 186]

Each and every person who placed a comment is dead on! I am proud of myself when it comes to my weight loss, and getting good eating habits in the early post op stage is vital as trust me you will feel hungry again and the only thing that keeps me on the straight and narrow is knowing I am getting to my goal and that I am able to move and participate without being a burden on those around me. I feel more energetic, I get out more, I am so happy I made this decision. Good luck to each and every one of you, you are amazing!

[BellaLuce4 261]

@@auntiemel what an amazing story, thx for sharing your WLS journey????

[auntiemel 275]

@@auntiemel what an amazing story, thx for sharing your WLS journey????

Thanks! I'm blogging too. I need to catch up on that...oops

I come on here to be inspired by you guys!

My blog: adayinthesleevedlife.com

[BellaLuce4 261]

@mauigirl555. I told almost no one, even though I went through that 5 years of ambivalence!

I'm 6 weeks post op and am telling close friends if I feel the inclination the time. As time is passing and I see my success I find myself opening up more and more.

This is a personal journey and everyone handles their WLS differently. No rules , only the ones you make for yourself????????

[Kindle 8,667]

The shame and fear you feel are totally normal. I never thought That I would consider surgery, but I just kept getting bigger year after year. My eating was truly out of control. I had given up on diets because gaining the weight back after losing left me feeling more and more depressed. My insurance didn't cover WLS, so I spent 6 months researching on my own what kind of surgery would be best for me and where to have it done. I didn't tell anyone my plans because I was embarrassed. And disgusted with myself that it had come to this.

Once I booked my surgery and bought plane tickets I started telling a few people. I had mixed reviews, but nothing real negative...just concern. By the time I started my preop diet I was so excited I actually started 2 days early. I was SO ready to finally start losing weight for the last time in my life! This time I KNEW once the weight was gone it wouldn't be coming back. And believe me, you WILL lose.

As I lost weight, more and more people noticed and commented. I ended up telling most everyone about having surgery. By talking about it, I was able to get rid of the negative feelings I originally had about this decision. I had WLS and am proud of it! I did a very scary thing in order to have a happier, healthier life! And now I am accountable to not only myself, but to everyone I know. I will not be the one that gains all her weight back. It's a very empowering feeling to finally have control again.

So yes, what you are feeling is normal and hopefully time and the approval process will help you shed the negativity. But in the end, you have to be 110% committed and should only have WLS if the time is right for YOU. I wish you the best of luck....this truly has been the best thing I've ever done for myself.

[bebop09 12]

Thank you all for responding-you have my eyes leaking as I read because I'm realizing I am not all alone in what I'm thinking and feeling. I have my last test tomorrow, and I have my other appointments already scheduled, so I am on the road to approval-its HUGE to reach out and have someone reach back. Thank You!

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

I don't know who first said this, but Einstein is currently getting the credit for saying:

"Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

Yes, it took me a long time to make my own decision. But ultimately, the above sentiment is where I wound up. After a lifetime of yo-yo dieting, I finally realized I was NEVER going to solve my weight problem by any more yo-yo dieting.

Good luck to you in making your own decision.