Wedding bells and pellet guns: I'm ready to shoot my daughter the bride-to-be

[Lap_dancer 8]

Yesterday I threw my hands up in the air and per hubby, went into my room, shut the door and took a medicated nap to ease my head. Next thing I know there is a clammer at the door, she is standing there with her cell phone thrust in my face, "Talk to Shawn" she says. He wants to tell me about the wedding.

I tell her I'm sleeping, she tells him, he tells her to tell me it will only take a minute. So he gets on the phone and in his firm and calming voice, relays that he has more and in effect calmed my daughter down and they are going for a new date that isn't near Lent and he finally called the rest of his family and told them officially he has the ring, the wedding is a go, the date and that he wants the family church on his father's side, can they help organize that. Yahoo for putting things on others and spreading the wealth of responsibility.

It's not that I mind all the hullaballoo, my son's grad party was huge. We had two white tents, a live band, and this huge buffet that was stocked with cold and hot and I even had a chocolate table. My favorite item was the antique dresser I carted in the room and put carafes of coffee and whipped cream, sprinkles, cinnamon and Creamers. That was one awesome party. My daughter and I worked on her Homecoming Committee and I was the Parent Sponsor. The theme was "Enchantment Under the Sea". Organizing a huge event with hundreds coming isn't the problem. Locking in facilities is the source of my angst and people who are slow to respond make me combust, especially when others expect a good time.

I know my ego is coming into play. My husband and I always offer a grand time for our friends and their children. One year we had a hayride and I projected a movie on one end of the area with hay bails and logs to sit on. I played "The Incredible Mr. Limpet" ...anyone remember that Don Knotts movie?

So on this event which is one of the most important events we can host, I want to see this bring joy to my daughter and future son-in-law, their family/his family and all the friends who are invited. It should be a day not soon forgotten. The last thing I want to feel is "oh I'm so glad that is over".

[Marimaru 7]

Well yay for SIL, lol. My wedding is in 2 weeks and I am going a bit stir crazy. I'm having trouble getting a hold of the event coordinator at my location and I need to do all the final confirmation stuffs. eek!

It sounds like your daughter is on the way to being a little more organized, so it should be more fun!

[5jacks 0]

I've decorated wedding cakes for the past 25 years or so. Have attended more than my share of weddings! It's amazing to me that the size of the events have gotten so huge! Back when I first started doing the cakes a bride would borrow a dress, not pay thousands for one. The cake would actually feed the amount of people invited to the wedding....not be partially made from foam so it would LOOK huge without serving as many and also without costing so much. When my husband and I got married (15 years in Aug.) I planned the entire thing, went as "thrifty" as possible so as not to put Mom and Dad in the poor house. Our entire formal wedding, including the rehearsal dinner, reception and honeymoon was a little less that $2,000. These days that's what brides pay for a dress, then start griping because the cake to feed 200 people is going to be $225! I no longer decorate cakes and that's the main reason! Luckily I have 3 boys....with this attitude I'm sure if I had a daughter we would fight through the entire wedding planning process too! Good luck and I don't envy you a bit!!

[Lap_dancer 8]

My personal money philosophy is "she who pays decides". When it came to planning my wedding, mom paid for the things we aggreed on or she wanted and I paid for the extras I wanted. Sure you want to make her happy, but she can't be dragging you around by the purse strings. That's just rude. I would say, like with everything else as a mom, lay down some very reasonable guidlines and then let her make a final desision. I hope you will get to enjoy every minute of this experience!

I'm going to embrace this for the reception. Since her father and I are shelling out the dough for the reception food and ambiance of a nice place to sit, lovely table to dine at, his side of the family can cover the booze since we aren't drinkers in my family.

Carlene* the money offer sounds great but I got no response when I gave her the offer. (of course, why invite a headache when mom and dad will do it for her)

Mari* I would be freaking out if I hadn't heard from the wedding planner to confirm. To my credit I am great with big events and love love love a good party. It's my daughter's wishy washy vagueness that makes me want to chew chalk.

~~5 jacks what a cool story!!! ( and because I no longer fear eating the cakes I practice on I am taking up cake decorating and just got my first set of 53 tips and bags )

**I anticipate the trappings, like a cruise, of unexpected costs that come hidden in a lovely packaging with a great description. My daughter's dress is a designer dress. Unless it is actually handmade by the designer, I cannot see paying thousands for a gown. I went on ebay and went on the Chinese ebay site. It translates to English. I looked up gowns and got a hit. I found a seller who does ball gowns and wedding gowns. My daughter found her dream dress and won the auction at $299. That's about par. The dress is amazing. The silk is pristine. David's Bridal gets their dresses from the same place and you pay for the David's Bridal service.

Meanwhile...we are still working on a reception. I think I will leave it to my future son in law, my hubby and myself.

My daughter is giving me gray hair.

[tari_777 0]

I have been seacrhing forums on the web for ten (10) hours trying to find comments and reviews from someone who has has an event at the florida aquarium. I am sooooo glad I found yours. I just had to sign up to ask you my question. My wedding is on Jan 01 2009 (one yr away from the beginning of this year when my fiance popped the big Q) and I have always wanted a beach wedding with a beach theme. So, I figured the Fla Aquarium was the reception spot. I visited the Fl Aquarium to see the place, and I did not like the smell of it at all! It smelled like raw fish tank that needed a cleaning. Did you have your daughters event here? I really need to know and hear from someone with first had experience. (Cause when I went to the Georgia Aquarium, their open touch tanks had no bad odor. Just a slight ocean rock smell). Please help! Do you know of anyone who has had a sit down dinner event at the Aquarium? How was the food and how was the smell of the lobby area on the first floor? Finally, CONGRATS on your wedding celebrations!! (you should post some pics!!)

Edited April 20, 2008 by tari_777

[tapshoes 2]

In my family, if the girl wants the wedding paid for, then it is ONLY the wedding -not the reception and ever increasing elaborate events! If the children (male or female) elope, it is a healthy chunk of change that is given. This is not just my immediate family, but also the HUGE families on both sides of my parents. All Aunt/uncles/cousins etc...if they attend a wedding/reception, there are no gifts. If you elope, you get gifts.

The last 'family' wedding I attended was for one close cousin about 25 years ago. She has since said "If I was to do it again, I'd take the money." A mortgage downpayment which can build equity, provide a financial cushion etc versus one day's fun and stress and aggravation!

My brother called my sister and I the night before he got married in his house - I lived over 1000 miles away, my sister 2000, our mother lived a couple of hundred. Works for us!

[Pix 4]

LOL my wedding cost a grand total of 100 bucks (not including the wedding certificate fees and stuff). That 100 included the cost of my dress and the supplies for the cake (my mom baked and decorated it, it looked amazing!!).

We were married outside by a military chaplain in the middle of winter. LOL No idea what the "reception" cost. My parents insisted on paying, so that was on them.