Wedding bells and pellet guns: I'm ready to shoot my daughter the bride-to-be

[Lap_dancer 8]

Anyone else gone through the wedding from hell planning?

My daughter is engaged to marry her soldier sweetheart. The date was first Oct. 26th, then they switched it because his training wasn't going to be done yet. It got moved to Feb. 16th. Then today she came to me and annouced THEY didn't want to wait and wanted to marry October 26th. Meanwhile they want:

Full on reception with party and booze.

Big poofy dress wedding in a church*.

*Going back and forth on which church to marry in*

*Have not secured a reception hall or church*

*Changed from reception hall to the Florida Aquarium*

I have lost all the steam for a beautiful bridal tea, personal shower hosted by her aunt and bridesmaid and the wedding isn't even close.

Venting but dang I am soooo fumed, exhausted and more than anything hurt that I can't seem to feel a joyful part of the process.

I told her to just elope but her fiancee said no. ( I love him )

[anonemouse 1]

I'd be a tad pissed, too. Tell her to make up her mind quickly, because she's running out of time to put holds on reception and ceremony locations. I wouldn't bother arranging anything until she tells you that she's made a decision. Take some time off and let her get a taste of what it feels like to plan a wedding. She won't be wishy-washy after that.

[Carlene 12]

I feel your rage. All the stress is on the mother of the bride, was my experience. The happy couple gives your their wish list and it's up to you to make it happen.

It can be very hard to book a venue for a wedding on less than 6 months notice, so she'd best get on the ball. Also, many clergymen/churches require several weeks of premarital counseling, etc. Now would be the time to look into that.

I offered my DD and HTB (husband to be) 5K plus expenses to elope. They turned it down.

[anonemouse 1]

I offered my DD and HTB (husband to be) 5K plus expenses to elope. They turned it down.

They're nuts. I've told my folks that I would gladly elope if I ever get married. I'm not religious (as you know), so a church wedding would be completely lost on me, and the rest of it seems like a waste of time and money. Potentially thousands of dollars on an uncomfortable dress that would only be worn once, plus the expenses of a rehearsal dinner and reception? Please. I'd rather use the money for a nice, long honeymoon or a down payment on a house.

[Band Chick 3]

My personal money philosophy is "she who pays decides". When it came to planning my wedding, mom paid for the things we aggreed on or she wanted and I paid for the extras I wanted. Sure you want to make her happy, but she can't be dragging you around by the purse strings. That's just rude. I would say, like with everything else as a mom, lay down some very reasonable guidlines and then let her make a final desision. I hope you will get to enjoy every minute of this experience!

[Carlene 12]

They're nuts. I've told my folks that I would gladly elope if I ever get married. I'm not religious (as you know), so a church wedding would be completely lost on me, and the rest of it seems like a waste of time and money. Potentially thousands of dollars on an uncomfortable dress that would only be worn once, plus the expenses of a rehearsal dinner and reception? Please. I'd rather use the money for a nice, long honeymoon or a down payment on a house.

I agree....nuts. I offered them the 5K plus the honeymoon. But nooooooooooo...they wanted a big party with all their friends. The dress was $800, not including the veil or alterations.

Every single person I dealt with had a favorite horror story, and they all shared them. By the time I heard all about the grooms who called from the airport to say they'd changed their minds, to the brides who got cold feet and snuck out of town the night before, to the cakes that collapsed, the DJ that never showed, the portable dance floor that was warped, the drunks, the fights, the ex-girl/boy friends who showed up, etc I was a nervous wreck. Finally I sat the bride and groom down and said, "Look, something is bound to go wrong. Hopefully, it will be something minor. So whatever it is, we will adjust for it and go on with our plans. Remember that it's not the wedding that's important; it's the marriage."

Sure enough, the bride took a shortcut and got lost, so she was late and the DJ had the wrong date down, so he was late, too. Everything else went off as planned.

Oops....I almost forgot. They were spending the night in a local hotel near the airport and leaving the next day for the honeymoon. They took their vehicle out there earlier in the day, so that their friends could not "decorate" it. But the groom left the keys in his tux pocket, and changed at the church after the receiption, so I could return the (rented) tux the next day. They called me about 1 AM and I had to take the car keys to them. As revenge, my stepdaughter and I decided to paint the car with shoepolish, attach tin cans, etc. We were having a great old time doing this when the cops showed up - alerted by the hotel security people to possible vandalism in the parking lot. We were lucky we didn't get arrested, I guess.

[hippmom 2]

i've always told my daughter i' buy her a new pair of jeans when she got married and that is all the preparation i'd do (we never agree on anything)

but she's 30 and no one can put up with her so i haven't had to buy thosse jeans yet LOL

[maudeispam 2]

What a nightmare! DH and I planned our own wedding. We were married 7/10/04 in my parents front lawn in Michigan. (We live in SD.) My parents, paid for the cake, beer, furnished the ham and rented a port a potty. I bought my dress, reception decor, reception bubbles, bells, etc, and had my cousin DJ the festivities. (Using my stereo & CD collection.) Friends furnished fireworks for the end of the reception....what a send off into marital bliss! DH and I were frazzled but the wedding and reception were wonderful. To this day family and friends comment about how nice and fun our wedding & reception was.

[DrewsLou 3]

That sucks lap_dancer!!

I planned my wedding myself ( with hubbies help of course) in 6 weeks. I found that doing it on short notice worked out to my benefit since we got married on Thanksgiving weekend and I got discounts from the venue and all my vendors for being a) a holiday weekend and less than 2 months in advance.

Good luck to you!

[piercedqt78 658]

I was married in a bowling alley. It was great, we did the formal thing, and used a reception area that was used for parties. It was a blast. Then we changed into causal clothes (matching bowling shirts) and had a great time. The whole thing suit, dress, food and bowling cost me about $3,000. It was great. Tell the bridezilla that she needs to make up her mind and quick, or it will be a bowling alley for her too...LOL ~Mandy

[Lap_dancer 8]

<p>Thank you ALL for the encouragement and for letting me feel like I'm not a selfish mom in wanting some advance notice.</p> <p> </p> <p>My husband and I are shelling out thousands but she is our only daughter and she graduated college which was our number one request, finish college. But she is a prima donna, the first grandchild of my in-laws that came along after fourteen years, you can imagine how they spoiled her. I don't want to make her sound like she is a horrible Bridezilla, she's nothing like those witches who scream at their betroths in front of the camera. No she is just flippant about things that should be concrete. </p> <p> </p> <p>I think this will be a live and learn for her. I've told her again and again YOU GOTTA BOOK THE CHURCH, GOTTA BOOK THE HALL. We shall see.</p> <p> </p> <p>OMG the groom who changed his mind and called from the airport????</p> <p>(someone pass me a shotgun)</p> <p> </p> <p>I don't expect any drama. My daughter had a longtime relationship with her ex-boyfriend the musician. Let me tell ya, if I can survive that I can survive anything. He is WICKED talented on guitar/drums and bass and I am mighty proud of him and what he has achieved (toured Europe) but the girls?!! OMG!!! Let's just say I would need a lot more than strings and frets to rock my world, not so with others. Turmoil and angst ruled the day with them. Needless to say, when her current love came along, he was a breath of fresh air. He is respectful, and EVEN SENT ME A MOTHER'S DAY CARD!</p> <p>His soothing temperment makes me want to have the best wedding I can pull off.</p>

[kyethra 0]

my mom sort of flipped out after I got engaged. DH and I got married in Vegas- small ceremony but very nice and with all the trimming and then a reception in the city we live in. While I had looked at a couple of venues for the reception in my hometown area (including my mom's house) we ended up decided it made the most sense financially and to us to have it where we live (about three hours from either of our families so not that far). We planned it. I tried to involve my mother- like I had her go wedding dress shopping with me, and I would send her pictures of things. That was sort of akward because she kept telling the clerks that they shouldn't me anything too fancy since I was just getting married in vegas and things like that (she was sort of bitter) and that made people a little uncomfortable. She wasn't paying for anything. But lots of anger (she told me not to call her for the days between the wedding and the reception) I think the only way I would have made her happy was if we did it all exactly like she wanted, but then we wouldn't have been happy.

I loved my wedding and i love being married (my one year anniversary is in august), but it sure is a stressfull time for everyone involved. I'm glad its something that is past though :eek: Maybe the two of you could rent some wedding themed movied and watch those together to blow off steam? Wedding planner is one that I like. Now I'm working on trying to find money for the big honeymoon we can't afford.

[Daisalana 33]

Hah just had to post, today we officially started making the plans for our wedding, and I'm already stressed out! It's in December, so we're going tomorrow to check out this place I thought might work.. everywhere I wanted (had a previous list), has something wrong with it that I wouldn't want it there (i.e. 2 of them don't allow alcohol). The one we're leaning toward is the only one that doesn't provide anything. They set up the chairs/tables but you have to bring everything else.. and they have a kitchen but it is not for set up, just storage.. so caterers have to come 100% ready.

I wanted to elope on 7/7/07 in vegas, come home and do a fancy reception.. fiance said no cause he thinks I want a big wedding, but after all the researching I did today, I'm wishing he'd just let us elope.

[anonemouse 1]

My brother is getting married in early July. He just told us this in the last few days. (He had gotten his girlfriend pregnant and they were getting married, but she had a miscarriage last week. But they are apparently still going through with the wedding.) It's on super-short notice, so all they are going to do is have a civil ceremony with her parents and me and my parents there with them. I am SO relieved. I was really afraid that they were going to ask me to be in the wedding party. I didn't want to do it, but I have a hard time saying no to people. I had more than enough of being a bridesmaid at my ex-roommate's wedding.

[green 6]

Anyone else gone through the wedding from hell planning?

My daughter is engaged to marry her soldier sweetheart. The date was first Oct. 26th, then they switched it because his training wasn't going to be done yet. It got moved to Feb. 16th. Then today she came to me and annouced THEY didn't want to wait and wanted to marry October 26th. Meanwhile they want:

Full on reception with party and booze.

Big poofy dress wedding in a church*.

*Going back and forth on which church to marry in*

*Have not secured a reception hall or church*

*Changed from reception hall to the Florida Aquarium*

I have lost all the steam for a beautiful bridal tea, personal shower hosted by her aunt and bridesmaid and the wedding isn't even close.

Venting but dang I am soooo fumed, exhausted and more than anything hurt that I can't seem to feel a joyful part of the process.

I told her to just elope but her fiancee said no. ( I love him )

Write her a cheque and tell her to figure it out. That's my advice.