Need help - What did I do wrong

[Lkk0158 39]

It's not unreasonable at all to want to decide who you tell and who you don't. I've purposefully not told certain people too. But on the other hand, I do understand a little why a spouse would want to tell a few people, because your spouse will need support too! This will be a very big life change for both of you. Your wife probably has some fears about your surgery, the risks, how it will change your lifestyle together, how you might change as a person, etc. So, she likely needs people she can talk to about all that. Because of this, I haven't put any restrictions on my husband as to who he can tell, I just asked that he be respectful, treat this as he would any other medical condition, and only tell others on a "need to know" basis.

Well said !????

[Brandyjune 28]

I had the same thing happen to me. I wanted to be the one to tell people on my terms. My husband ended up spilling the Beans to my in-laws, Who I don't even get along with. Part of that reason is because they can't keep their mouths shut and talk about everyone's problems behind their back. I cried about it and was very upset with my husband because I told him that those were the only two people I didn't want to tell. Which I made very clear before he even told them. And if I ever decided to tell them I wanted to be the one to do it. I'm over it now but it was very upsetting. My grandmother told me that they're going to talk about me no matter what so just to let it roll off my shoulders.

[The Candidate 3,215]

I'm sure your wife meant no harm, but the bottom line is that this is your journey and no one else's. I'm also being very selective on who I tell. The last thing I need to worry about post op is the judging stare of anonymous eyes all measuring my success or waiting for me to fail. I didn't make a point of making an announcement every time I went on a diet, and I see this as no different. It's nobody's business but my own.

[psymom 12]

I told only my son and my husband. I haven't told my daughter because when I mentioned WLS to her she stated it was cheating. She is 17 and in college so she is oblivious. When I told her I was going in for sugery on my esophagus because of a stricture she suggested I leave it alone because it made me lose weight. Swallowing Water hurt and food was a no no. She seems to think that if I just stop eating and go to the gym I will be skinny. Otherwise I have on told my husband. I am tired of my weight making the choices for me.

[Cupcake 801]

I agree with the above statement it is your decision if you want to share this information because it is a private one .