Has anyone not told anyone about having surgery?

[JillC878 59]

I only told my husband. Luckily I did have a hernia repair and gal bladder removed so I had another reason to tell others. people have asked about my weight loss, so be prepared for that. Told them i have been working out everyday and no sugar, nothing white. Kinda a half truth.

Do what you feel comfortable with. It is your body and your life.

[kikicoates78 220]

I only told my husband and my mother in law. I don't want to deal with people's negativity. I also had 2 hernias so it was my reason for surgery that everyone else got

Edited November 2, 2014 by kikicoates78

[ElleLB 17]

I wish I hadn't! I'm not having my sleeve until March of 2015, but I told the 1 person I thought I could tell and it definitely didn't go as planned :/

[JackieBrown 183]

I agree that it's nobody's beeswax. If you tell someone, then it becomes open to discussion. And monitoring. And comments. And "helpful" advice. I'm doing this for me and me alone, and only the husband needs to know. He's taken a vow of silence, too.

When it comes to a big weight loss, I think that people only need to see the tiny portions, and there will be no need for questions!

[nails211 17]

I didn't tell anyone except my boyfriend, mom and sister but no one else. People are so nosy and judgmental and this was a really big personal decision for me so do what makes you comfortable :-)

[Shadow427 272]

I am scheduled to have my surgery on November 24th. My intention was to not tell anyone - - - or perhaps a select few.

In the Spring I had gallstones. At that time they suggested I have my gallbladder out. However, my boss was just about to have a baby. We are the only Sr. Managers in the office. The doctor said I could hold off on gallbladder surgery until the Fall. He then discussed weight loss surgery. I attended a seminar, started learning and studying and researching. They are now saying that my gallbladder is fine. So, basically, I am sticking to the story regarding having my gallbladder removed. (Hopefully, nothing actually happens to my gallbladder in the future! LOL!!!)

I moved to Philadelphia three years ago for a job. Eleven months later, I was laid-off... fortunately, I found a decent job within 6 months. So, the good news is my family and close friends don't live here. They get to see me every month or so. I have lost over 20 pounds since the beginning of September. So, everyone knows I am "on a diet".

It was my intention to tell NO ONE! But, sometimes God puts people in your life for a reason. At a recent networking/social event, I met a woman who was looking for a job. And, I was able to help her with her resume, research, etc. We became friends. Recently she shared with me that she had lost over 200 pounds and had been sleeved. Since then, she has become my confidant. It is great to have someone to share with who won't judge because she has been there!

I may tell my two closest friends in NY. But, I am not ready to, yet. And, no, I will not tell my very skinny mom who has never understood my plight! (Apparently, I have my dad's genes...) She (and my brother) thinks my gallbladder is coming out and that is why I won't be home for Thanksgiving.

Reading all of your posts has helped me realize I am doing the right thing by keeping it to myself. IT IS MY LIFE!

[Rovobay 920]

kind of impossible to not tell my wife, but she is the only person that knows. I am 8 weeks post op and no one knows anything. and that's the way ah huh ah huh, I like it.....

[Chrystee 838]

I am a very open person, so I've told a few people, but I'm also sensitive to comments. I got a few negative comments (from the two people I thought would be my biggest supporters) and I decided not to tell anyone else. its up to you. Obviously my husband knows. Can you stay any longer than 2 days at the hotel or nearby? Living so far away, I think I'd try to stay a week and just chill out/take it easy.

[SherB 220]

I didn't tell a lot of people before but I wont lie to anyone after. It is a personal decision. I have found I have a lot of supporters by not keeping it a big secret.

[trvlgrl 50]

I didn't tell anyone but my husband and he's been my support through these past two weeks being sleeved. He tried to think of different things i can drink so I don't get to bored. I have 6 grown kids and I just stayed away for the first week so I could adjust. We lead a very busy crazy life so it wasn't suspicious at all that I was gone. Although I think my daughter in law is suspicious... She will ask me what I'm allowed to have and how I'm feeling. She would be totally supportive but she would tell my son and I don't want him to worry.

Like others have said, this is private and if you don't want anyone to know then you don't have to tell them.

[DizzyLib 45]

I agree that this is a personal decision - no one here has the same people in their lives that they have to deal with.

My husband knows of course and he supports my decision 100% because he knows how unhappy I am.

Alot of people in my life would think or tell me I'm taking the easy way out. Well I'd like to tell them in advance that this is

FAR from being the easy way...easy? I'd like to give them ALL a dose of what I've gone through each day all these years!!

As I've got older, I definately do not care as much about what other people think and I tell them so, where before I would have kept my mouth shut - you know you got to be "nice" ugh!!!!! not anymore.

I wasn't sure about telling my grown up children but I've recently decided I will. I've kept alot of information from their lives over the years, so they really do not know me well at all (but I've prevented this by doing this) so I am going to take the risk to share - they deserve to know about my experience of life. If they can't support me then that it how it will be, but I think they will, and especially once I share who I truly am and what this surgery means.

Otherwise anyone else, when they ask about my weightloss, will just get a "I'm eating less and exercising more as I've just not been active enough" and guess what? it's true!

My Bariatric Counsellor told me "You need to have a action plan about how you will handle the questions because they WILL come."

Edited November 5, 2014 by DizzyLizzie

[Ky89 86]

I am a very open person, so I've told a few people, but I'm also sensitive to comments. I got a few negative comments (from the two people I thought would be my biggest supporters) and I decided not to tell anyone else. its up to you. Obviously my husband knows. Can you stay any longer than 2 days at the hotel or nearby? Living so far away, I think I'd try to stay a week and just chill out/take it easy.

I do have a month off from work, my main concern is money though. Im putting everything on my card, which I would rather not do, but I do have the option to stay longer. I think after the surgery I would be very ready to go home, but I am pretty worried about flying home so soon after surgery.

[Mojo56 88]

I've read a lot of the comments on this topic and I'm amazed. A lot of you have people in their lives that you feel would make negative comments if you were open about your surgery. I'm not sure who these people are.....but dump them! If someone can't see the sense of WLS and how it will positively effect your health then the hell with them. I ve told everyone about my surgery and the details if they wanted to hear and only one asshole has said " couldn't you just diet and exercise?" and I pay him no attention. I think in life it's important to surround yourself with good, loving and supportive people. I totally get that not everyone comes to the same decision about this issue but perhaps choosing to not express your joy about your upcoming life saving surgery might tell you something about the people around you, the importance you place on their words and how you feel about yourself. For me, the worst part is repeating my story over and over.

I apologize if this rant offends anyone but I had to say it!

[knzt 69]

The only person that knows is my husband, it's no ones business and that's the way I plan on keeping it.

My weight loss is very very slow so it does not stand out to anyone.

[trvlgrl 50]

I've read a lot of the comments on this topic and I'm amazed. A lot of you have people in their lives that you feel would make negative comments if you were open about your surgery. I'm not sure who these people are.....but dump them! If someone can't see the sense of WLS and how it will positively effect your health then the hell with them. I ve told everyone about my surgery and the details if they wanted to hear and only one a*****e has said " couldn't you just diet and exercise?" and I pay him no attention. I think in life it's important to surround yourself with good, loving and supportive people. I totally get that not everyone comes to the same decision about this issue but perhaps choosing to not express your joy about your upcoming life saving surgery might tell you something about the people around you, the importance you place on their words and how you feel about yourself. For me, the worst part is repeating my story over and over.

I apologize if this rant offends anyone but I had to say it!

Well the main person in my life that I didn't want to tell is my mother and I'm not able to dump her. ???? The reason is that she would worry herself sick. I mentioned it once and she started sending me information about different diets. i mean lots of emails! She wouldn't be very supportive but that's just who she is. She's 5'0 and maybe 125lbs. She's never had much of a weight problem so she doesn't understand what I'm going though. It's OK, I'm the type of person who really doesn't need a support system. My husband has been there for me and that's really all I need.