confused! need help!

August 15, 2003

Well I have a 5 yr old from my first relationship, and now me and my husband have been trying for the past 2yrs and nothing. My husband wants a baby since he has never had any kids. Well now that I am banded, I have been off birth control for the past 2yrs, and now being banded I was thinking of getting back on birth conrol, but my husband dosen't want me to, he says if I get pregnant that's so GREAT, since we have been trying for the past 2yrs, so I am so confused, I do want another baby bad, but the doctor suggest we wait 12-18mths, but like it was mentioned earlier, their has been people who has gotten pregnant after being banded 2mths and everything is good, so I don't know what to do, take the birth control pills behind my husband's back, or not take care of myself and if it happends it happends, since we have been trying for so long.

JENEVIEVE

banded:7-17-2003

Suzy Q · August 16, 2003

I think you need to wait the time out. Your kids are already 5 years apart in age so 2 more won't hurt, it will be cute!

Your husband can wait for a healthy baby and you will have a better pregnancy and birth at a lighter weight.

Susan

ToothFairyRDH · August 16, 2003

I agree with Band Midwife...you should wait for a healthier you so that you can have a healthier pregnancy and baby. i have heard that losing weight also increases fertility...so maybe it will be easier to concieve then. Just be open and honest with you husband that it is better in many ways to wait, you and your furture baby! Good luck!

~Dawn

Kiera · August 16, 2003

I asked my doc about this issue VERY carefully because one of the reason I want to lose weight is so that I can a more healthy pregnancy. My doctor (who has been doing LapBands on over 1000 patients over the past decade) said it was NOT a problem and that he did NOT have any recommended waiting period - NONE. I was thrilled. He basically told me that as long as the surgery scars were healed it was ok to TTC.

He said that in the event of pregnancy he can simply remove the fill from the band to allow me to eat more regularly - or that for some people the unfill is not even necessary. As long as you are eating properly there is nothing to worry about.

Mostly I have seen that 18-24 month rule for RNY but it would appear that that is due to the fact that the weightloss is so fast with RNY and the ability to eat a balanced diet is reduced. I would sound your doctor out a bit more pointedly. Get his exact reasons for that 12-24 month guideline, you may find that he waffles a bit on how stringent they should be applied - to you.

Obviously you always need to listen to your own doctor, but you might consider a second opinion on the pregnancy thing - especially if your doctor is one who is more RNY focused and may not have had any/many LapBand pregnant patients. I am very happy with my doc's policy though. I am 3 months out and 40 pounds down now and I AM now actively trying to conceive.

You have to do what is right for you. Just make sure you know all the facts. If you have not already done so I would suggest seeing a nutritionist. Check out the issues involved diet-wise. Can you eat the necessary food for a healthy pregnancy? Are you willing to put off losing weight in order to have your baby? Pregnancy is not a time to lose weight (obviously) - are you willing to commit to keeping the "eating for two" in check?

Whatever you decide to do, just think it through very carefully before you decide. Good luck! ;-)

ToothFairyRDH · August 16, 2003

I still believe that you should wait till you have lost a substancial amount of weight. No matter what your doctor recommends...there is NO denying that it is MUCH healthier for you and the baby to wait till you are a healthier weight. Good luck and overall it is your decision. Healthy vs Now?

~Dawn (preband)

Alexandra · August 18, 2003

Jenevieve, how do you feel about it? Are you concerned that your weight loss will be derailed--perhaps permanently--if you get pregnant? Because if that's a concern of yours, remember that the band will still be there when you're done delivering and nursing your child. It can be filled again and away you go, ready to work once again on your weight loss.

I bore two children when my weight was over 300 lbs. Both pregnancies were joyfully uneventful and my deliveries were normal. Don't be afraid to let your body do what it was designed to do, even if you are carrying some extra weight.

I say, look into your heart. And talk with your husband honestly. This is a huge thing in both of your lives, and the great thing about the band is that it will be fine--and you will be fine--whatever you decide to do.

A pregnancy is a precious gift, and you've already discovered that it may not be there when you finally decide it's the right time. The band will.

August 23, 2003

WELL THANK YOU SO MUCH GUYS FOR THE GREAT ADVISE, I WILL TALK TO MY DR. AND ALSO BE HONEST WITH MY HUSBAND, AND ALSO ASK GOD FOR AN ANSWER, OR LEAVE IT UP TO HIM, "LORD, GIVE ME A CHILD WHEN YOU FEEL I WILL BE READY." I KNOW HE WILL GIVE ME A CHILD WHEN I LEAST EXPECT IT, IN HIS TIME NOT IN MINE.

GOD BLESS:)