Has anyone become single as a result of their weight loss surgery?

[pinkbunies 359]

I don't deny that there are underlying issues before the surgery, but I think things feel more intense after it. It's just another thing for them to throw in your face.

I've been getting yelled at lately about my surgery, being told I did it for attention, I've even heard I did it so I could meet someone new... It is a huge change and its a life change, so be ready for it.

[pinkbunies 359]

Casinos are evil unless you are winning every time then no one complains. I have control issues. When I go to a casino I am so bad that I have to put a limit on how much I'll spend, leave every credit card at home and def. do not stray.

Sometimes I'll win, most of the times I lose. I had one year I hit 32 jack pots but I've never had a repeat of that since.

[Stephanie Kandace 69]

I broke up with my boyfriend during my post op, he would come by as much as possible and bring me my favorite foods to try and deter me...sometimes you have to pick yourself and your happiness over other people

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Ah, the irony. I was sure that my morbid obesity was the cause of his lack of affection. It wasn't just sex that was missing - he wouldn't touch, kiss, hug or treat me like a lover in anyway. I lost about 125# and I asked him if he was noticing I was looking better. Lets just say that conversation didn't go that well.. I mean, who loses 125# and their partner in life doesn't even mention it? So, I tried many things to entice him into a physical relationship again, but what came out of it all is he was hiding a bunch of huge problems from me and that he had pretty much cut himself off from everybody. I tried to get him to go to counseling etc but he just didn't want it. I finally said.. okay, then I am done. And he was like... "okay, least of my problems" sort of attitude. It broke my heart, but i am glad it ended as that was just no way to live. I have so much more fun, better friendships, just a better LIFE now. I do dream of having a real partner someday, but I realize I am better off single and alone then with someone and alone.

Wow sounds like my life right now. My husband of 13 years has been very cold in that area for around the past 10 years. I am sure it is becuase of my weight. Just wondering was he still not interested after the weight loss?

[jess9395 5,449]

I think often we feel like "if only I lost the weight everything would be different" he'd be more affectionate, I'd be more successful in my career, etc etc etc.

Usually none of those things change from the weight loss. You have to deal with things where they are and not believe the weight loss will fix it.

I have known this intellectually but it's still hard when you get to goal and your life is startlingly similar to the way to was before. I have to learn to deal with the issues now that I don't have my weight to blame it on.

[scstxrn 213]

I had my weight loss surgery 4 months ago and am down 84lbs, and my husband is driving me nuts, he is convinced I am cheating on him, he said it has nothing to do with the weight loss but that's BS!!! 84 lbs ago he could care less what I did, were I went or if I even came home after a night out with the girls, now he blows up my phone the entire time Im out and I have never given him a reason to believe that I was. I am how ever going out more than I was, I no longer feel like the big pink elephant in the room and I can actually find cute clothes that fit me. Its really an insult that he felt like no one would bother with me before but now I might have a shot. He's even looked at my phone records and was calling numbers!!! I know 2 other people that have had surgeries and they to are now divorced which is were I feel like I want to be, not because I want to find better but because he thought so little of me. Just remember everyones different, Im just telling of my experience. Good luck!!!

This behavior from my spouse would be the reason I left... not because I do or do not have other people hitting on me; but sweet heavenly days - I married a secure, awesome guy. I could not handle it if he went nuts like that!

[heav85 123]

In on of our meetings we were told that if ur marriage is bad before weight loss surgery then it's gonna be bad after. But if its good then it's gonna continue to be good.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

One of life's essential epiphanies:

If he/she doesn't love you, don't get mad, sad, or even. Just accept it.

You cannot make someone else love you. It really is impossible.

And here's the really big epiphany: One of the most pathetic ways to waste your life is trying to make someone love you. Ugh!

[cdenney123 103]

Well it happend to me this week my boyfriend of a year and a half broke up and its only been 4 weeks since my surgery. Bascially he said I was going to get skinny and leave him so he decided to do it now and not later. I was so mad since he was my supporter in all this. Now Its back to online dating I guess ugh so frustrating. But at least now I can start all over with someone new

[nikkycoly 13]

I love my men with some extra fat! Lol my boyfriend is 6'4 but about 280 he's cute and has a big belly and he enjoys eating my leftovers hahaha! But no really when I decided to get the surgery he became distant and finally I said something to him. He admitted he was afraid id leave him after losing weight. I've always been confident in my size maybe not at my happiest but I always thought I had a pretty face and I dressed for my size appropriately and tried to look nice. I'm 7 weeks post op now and 30lbs down. I've noticed more looks and the compliments are amazing! He is back to normal now. Telling me things like...damn it your boobs are smaller haha joking of course with disappointment. But he compliments me a lot too so I think he's enjoying the weight loss more than he thought he would. So far it hasn't had an impact but I do wonder. Especially when more and more people notice. I have 50 lbs left to goal and he tells me all the time that's too much. Well see but yes I truly believe woman are more inclined to like the cute fat boys then the guys are inclined to like the cute car girls.

[heav85 123]

I have attached a page from our packet from our behavioral class. It talks about spouses and children's reactions to swl. There are other pages about friends and family too.

[nikkycoly 13]

Definitely true! I was surprised when my boyfriend said those things. It's nice that your docs office have that information because mine didn't say anything about it. It all makes sense but until it was happening to me I didn't even think about it.

[Quest4TheNewMe 225]

I have attached a page from our packet from our behavioral class. It talks about spouses and children's reactions to swl. There are other pages about friends and family too.

Thank you for sharing this page. It's interesting to read the impact on kids piece. I have less than 48 hours until surgery and I haven't said a word about it to my 7.5 yr old daughter.

[heav85 123]

My husband and I have discussed this many times. He's behind me and we are both looking forward to the new sex life we can have lol

[heav85 123]

Thank you for sharing this page. It's interesting to read the impact on kids piece. I have less than 48 hours until surgery and I haven't said a word about it to my 7.5 yr old daughter.

I'm lucky my daughter will only be 2 so things should be ok