Anyones spouse having a hard time?

[kenb79 95]

My wife is pretty frustrated that for the last 4 weeks I have not wanted to participate in going out. I mean like going to a sit down diner or to the bar. She feels like she's on this liquid diet.

I'm annoyed because I'm not telling her she can't go do whatever but I do not want to go and sit in a diner or bar and watch my spouse or any others eat when I'm still on liquids.

Yeah I'm a bummer of a guy right now and it sucks dealing with a crabby wife because she's not getting her party on. Give me time, I will be back in fun guy mode in no time.

[Jersrose43 837]

How long have you been on liquids?

Can you go and just get a Soup ?

[kenb79 95]

Still on 100% liquids till 11-4

[Jersrose43 837]

That is a long time. Maybe go to a diner and just enjoy some Soup. Sip slowly and enjoy.

She can have whatever she likes.

She just likes your company

[wannaBthinsoon 1,634]

I hear ya, kbuska. My hubs tried everything he could think of to talk me out of my decision to have the WLS. But, when my mind is made up, it's made up. He knows I am trying to lose a little but before my 5th supervised Dr appt,(just to prove I'm trying)......(one of the hoops). He comes home from work every day mad I didn't make dinner. Um....I haven't made dinner since the last son moved out 8 years ago. Why should I start making dinner now? You are a grown man, you can feed yourself. Oh, and it's an argument every weekend.....he wants to go to the "free" casino BUFFET!! REALLY?! I don't want to go to a buffet! EVER AGAIN. I don't like them, anyway. The food is aweful, and no telling who all has sneezed in it or touched it, or how long it sat out. No thank you. Can't wait to see what arguments we have after I have the surgery. Maybe by then he'll realize I meant it.

[built2livenotexist 119]

You're going to need support after the surgery; everything will (should) be different especially your capacity to absorb alcohol. There are the post-op phases too, one of which is. ..liquids.

I had to have a heart felt talk with the person I live with who wants the benefits of the surgery for me, but doesn't really want to do anything in a contributory manner. I really had to spill my guts about all the reasons I had decided to have the surgery. The feedback was " Good for you, but I'm not doing it!" was annoyed at first but stayed focused and determined and made small changes as far as how the rest of the house will be eating. As the primary grocery shopper, I slowly stopped bringing in crap into the house, and stopped cooking anything that would go against my new tummy and lifestyle.

Even with the support of spouses and loved ones,the bulk of the effort and work has to come from us. I have to be okay with this multi-phasic diet, the incisions, the risks, etc; no one else really has to be on board but me.

[able2cope 193]

I'm sorry but I think your wife is being inconsiderate and should be supporting you more and your decision. Hang in there!

[dgross 32]

I am kinda shocked that your wife is not excited for you i am only in the beginning of my journey (hopefully not long no 6mos weights) but my husband is my biggest fan .... Saying whatever we need to do reasuring me that i am doing the right thing ... Granted it will take strength to leave old habbits but if she wants to go to dinner or out why not go get Soup .. Dont drink u know what u need to do be strong we have to reprogram are brain too when doing this

[Jersrose43 837]

Where does it say she was being unsupportive? She's frustrated by not being able to enjoy her social life because of the liquid requirements. I get it. That doesn't mean she's unsupportive.

He's right it's a temporary family adjustment and she's having a bit of a hard time as he is.

Don't be all Debbie downer on her

Life was about going out and drinking and socializing over food. So was mine.

I went out to dinner week 2 post op and been out every weekend since.

I didn't stop pre op either. It's just all about the choices!

I don't drink

I ate Soups

I ordered mashed potatoes at certain phases

I ordered soft foods when needed

And I even -- eegads --- went to a pizzeria several times ! I always order a side of meatballs - no pizza for me

It helped that all our friends knew what I'd done so it made it really easy from that perspective.

Choices folks! They're out there. Wrap your head around the choices.

You don't have to give up being social. You make different choices.

Now if wifey and friends push you into a beer or other bad choices. Go home.

[kenb79 95]

Thank you to everyone for there responses. She has been supportive. Like Jersrose43 mentioned, she is just frustrated. I like the suggestions of Soups and in a couple weeks, once I can actually have Soup without straining it, our choices will be better. Regarding drinking, I was the DD before and will be now too. Even one drink always gave me the biggest headache.

Last night she came home from work and we went and saw the equalizer. Kiss ass movie BTW. Great night up to the point where i had to tell her no to sex (sorry, tmi) yesterday was not a good day regarding Water consumption and Protein intake and I felt like shit for it.

V/r,

Ken

[woo woo 872]

During the first couple weeks post op we went out to eat a few times and I ordered Soup and asked for only the broth portion. I found that all of the restaurants were more than happy to bring it to me that way.

[Jersrose43 837]

I liked ordering matzoh ball Soup. Many places use chicken broth and the matzoh can be placed on a to go container right away.

[CherokeeGirl 25]

i certainly do not want to piss you off...but I would never do that to my hubby....you are going through major things right now and she should be supportive, and you need her right now to be there for you.....JMHO un...best of luck...maybe she read this thread

[auntiemel 275]

I went out with my sister and had chicken tortilla Soup at red robin. We also went out to Mexican and I ate some chicken out of her taco. I really am a super cheap date now.

[JCP 619]

My husband cooks every night and eats out at lunch every day. He has asked me to go out and I just say no. So far he is not pressuring me but I would have a real problem with it if he did. I'm ok with it all as it stands. I have no desire anymore to eat what he eats. I hope he will also make an effort but it's all up to him.