ALMOST 2 WEEKS POST OP AND FEELING MAJOR REGRET

[D.Lo 8]

Hello all, I am almost 2 weeks post op and I have been somewhat sad. I had a rough first week, had a 2 day hospital stay because of a collapsed lung and fever. Since then I have been home recovering and I have gone through so many emotions. I have to cook for my family of 3 and that time is probably the hardest. I have been following the all liquid phase to the best of my ability. I am only able to get in ONE shake and the rest is Water about 40 oz daily. I tried an egg the other morning at the approval of my doc, but I wasn't too crazy about it and I felt extremely full afterwards. I thought I'll just stick to the liquids until I move on to the puree stage the doctors must know what they are doing.

I am worried I wont ever be able to eat a real meal again. I also think I should've done more and tried to lose it on my own although I had tried since I was 15 and I'm now 38. I keep hearing it gets better but right now I hate not being able to part take with my family at dinner time and I also dont like the way I'm feeling with the major restriction. Will I ever be able to eat somewhat normally again? I want this mental regret to go away. I have cried to my husband and thank goodness he is very supportive.

Any comments are welcome. Please tell me it gets better from here.

[Nicole Cloud 39]

it does get better hang in there I had feelings of regret as well after my surgery being only 20 and having the surgery was not easy nor is it easy at any age. as for the restriction you will slowly be able to take in more but you always have to listen to your body and know when to stop. as for dinners try to just sit with your family and talk about your day make it more about conversation than food and soon you will be eating with them even if it is something different. you can do it and in the end I hope your regrets go away best of luck let me know if you have any questions

[bobbyswife 862]

I've read so many different stories about this, and this is why it's so important to come to grips with your emotional attachment to food before surgery. That being said, I know that sometimes the excitement and the prospect of a thinner healthier version of yourself overshadows that reality. I urge you to go to support group meetings and possibly even talk with a bariatric counselor. You are not alone. My surgery is in December and I am trying hard to give myself all the mental pep talks I can, but I am also a realist and know that I won't fully understand what you're going through until I'm there. Kind of like single adults telling parents how to raise children lol

[Lesile65 30]

I am there with you. I am 9 days out, and faced similar feelings. I am on just liquids for 5 more days and have to cook for my family as well...and it's hard...but, I know that the first 6 months are when the weight loss occurs, so I have to remind myself that this very strict phase is temporary. On youtube there is a video a girl made of what she eats 2 years post VSG. Check it out, it will lift your spirits. Yes we will learn to eat differently and better (hopefully) but we will be able to enjoy food again. I think our bodies take a big hit with surgery, and then has limited nutrition to recover, so that affects you initially, too. My husband had RNY 2 years ago, and enjoys his meals very much. I think it's very normal to grieve an old lifestyle, it doesn't mean we won't be able to embrace the new one..but it takes time and support. Good you have your husband on your side, and seek out your bariatric meetings like someone else posted, that's what I'm gonna try too

[D.Lo 8]

Thank you all for your comments and well wishes. I will be seeking to visit a support group. I really do hope that it works.I didn't realize how attached I was to my food. I was always the happy cheery girl cracking jokes while cooking, stuffing my face etc. Now I'm like down in the dumps and depressed.

I will keep you all posted. Thanks again.

[bobbyswife 862]

@@D.Lo another thing I'd like to share with you is something that I try to apply to all areas of my life and I hope to be able to apply this to my WLS journey as well. As a life coach I have used this as a way to work with my clients in the past. It's a quote by John Maxwell that says "Your attitude determines your altitude". Meditate on that for a moment. The future and how we perceive it is really in our own hands. Instead of saying "I really do hope that it works", say to yourself, "This will work for me because I'm going to make it work for me." It changes the whole dynamic of the negative thought process. Hope that helps!

[auntjanny 289]

Don't underestimate the roller coaster of emotions we go through as we approach and undergo surgery. THAT was the easy part. But, now is the fun part. Hang in there. It does get better. I am just about 5 weeks out and there is a world of difference. By no means a magic pill. Likely the hardest thing I will ever do. Stay hydrated. That will help. Hunger will oh away. Ask family to keep food out if sight as a kindness to you.

[D.Lo 8]

@auntjanny@bobbyswife Thank you both. All great advice and nice to know that I am not alone. I am 2 weeks out today and I can't wait to be at 5 weeks +

[CherokeeGirl 25]

I'm so so sorry you had complications...It really does get better...as far as how you feel. i had complications too, almost died. I was bleeding internally and my blodd pressure bottomed out...had to have blood and emergency surgery to fix it...extended hospital stay. i got home and was just miserable...I am feeling SO much better now...but i have only lost 5 pounds...went through all that and I've lost 5 pounds!!!!! people tell me it's my body healing it's self......so I will continue doing what I'm supossed to do and wait.....what other choice do I have? You can't "un ring" a bell LOL, you will feel better. I have a long time online friend that had major complications and she is now at goal, looks great and no regrests...though she said she did at first. I think it might be a phase we all go though...hang tough

[auntjanny 289]

Great attitude Cherokeegirl! What a story. You deserve some major weight loss!!

[Bkooltome 15]

I have my surgery December 4th and reading the posts here about major complications is very scary . I pray that I am doing the right thing .

[melbournekiwi 0]

That feeling does get better. Totally normal and I'm now 3.5 years down the track. My only legacy besides a lot of weight gone, is I refuse to eat Soup, smoothies or anything like that! Your very very early days, give yourself some peace, it's a massive adjustment and In time you will adjust mentally and physically.

Preparation is good but practical day to day existence is another reality to live.

I'd encourage you to look over the veterans and other experienced areas to feel that reassurance that it you will adjust.

When you see some more weight moving and experience some of the positives in your life from that I suspect you'll feel more encouraged.

Take care and be kind to yourself.

[Bkooltome 15]

Thanks for responding and encouragement! I know it's just nerves.

[darwinlady33 16]

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[D.Lo 8]

Just an update for all. I am officially 3 weeks post op and I am happy to report I am ALOT better! The depression has subsided I didn't even visit the support group yet. I am so happy to say. I still have mental cravings....especially for cheeseburgers LOL but I am not down in the dumps at all. I am still on the full liquid diet for another week and then I progress to purees. I cook every day for my family and have been dealing with things very well. I just truly was not mentally prepared for the mourning of food that I experienced week 1& 2. That was the hardest thing I've truly ever had to deal with mentally. I have lost about 32 pounds in 3 weeks so all is well thus far. Have a great week and God bless.