Allowing myself to restart

[Ceradad 10]

I was banded in late August of 2007. I worked my tail off to use it as a kickstart, a reboot. I was up every morning doing about 60 minutes of cardio, went to work, then back to the gym for weight training. I was a gym rat. I was married with one wonderful daughter and working in law enforcement. At my lowest weight, I had lost 135 lbs. I gained about 20 back and I was looking GOOD.

I worked my way back onto my departments tactical team and was able to keep my weight regulated for about 4 years. I was literally the poster boy for the clinics bariatric surgery center. Really, they had a couple photoshoots with me and one with my family and did a comercial and had posters made and placed in all of their clinics.

Then, things went south. My marriage dissolved (I left her for various reasons I won't go into), she dragged the proceedings out for over a year, and fought me tooth and nail over custody of our daughter. I lost all my momentum, had no drive for the gym anymore. Knew I had to get there, but the old excuses for not getting out of bed came back. Old eating habits slipped back into my daily routine.

This past spring, I was waking back up to what I had allowed to happen to me, what I did to myself. I was getting back in the groove hitting the gym 9+ times a week between cardio and weight training. Then, it went south again. On an innocent play at 2B while playing softball, by foot stopped but everything else kept going. Torn ligaments in my ankle. Surgeon decided he would have to not only fix the 2 torn ligaments, but would need to tighten up all the ligaments and tendons around my right ankle.

Now, I am fully back in the groove again after 5 months. But, I gained most of the weight I had lost. I have my work cut out for me. But, I know I can do it. I did it before, I can do it again. My weight is not my master, I am the master of my weight.

I am still in law enforcement, and am now the Team Leader for our tactical team. I love my job and want to be the best I can be at it. I love my daughter and want to be around for her as long as possible. I will be back in the shape I was in.

I will have one little setback on the horizon. After my last check on my ankle, the surgeon is very concerned with the stability of my left ankle as I have had problems with both going back to childhood. He is talking about doing the same surgery on that ankle also. If that is the case, at least I know what to expect and what I can and cannot do. I will have a better gameplan for it. Only dilemma will be to wait for awhile to get my weight down. Or, do I just go back to back and work my way back all at one time.

Thanks for letting me share.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

You've been through a lot. Remember how good you felt when you were losing weight and were in fit condition. You'll do this. Your tool is still there waiting to be used and adjusted properly. Never give up on yourself. I admire your determination and I know that by posting here you're already seeking out the support systems you'll need. Good job!

[lisacaron 5,075]

@@Ceradad Your off to a good start because you have your head back in the game! That along with the tools you have already is a winning combination!

This is a great place to come for support, and sharing. Hope to see you posting often, and hearing how your doing on your journey!!

[tklarkina 9]

Kudos to you for getting back at it, but you might want to ask yourself what behaviors keep getting you off track? Why are you resorting to the same habits of overeating?

[parisshel 1,892]

You can do this again, and it might be beneficial to work on the mental part of recovering your health as well as the physical part. I spend a lot of time right now working the mental aspect of healthy habits and sense that it is this type of work that will allow me to get to goal and maintain my loss (along with my band, of course).

As a fellow ankle-injury sufferer (tri-malleor fracture with surgery and plates, rods and pins), I share your pain and concern. My activity includes more cycling, swimming, elliptical and upper body work and less full-impact workouts if I sense my ankle/leg is feeling wonky. Ligament injuries are horrible, as they speak to you forever.

[Bandista 7,466]

Great post -- way to go showing up for yourself and for your daughter. I am so happy for you that you are choosing your health and not letting the past keep you down. Sending best wishes your way!

[Ceradad 10]

Ok, so 2 weeks ago I went in for my annual check on my Lapband and I was heavier than even I thought I would be. Not by much, but heavier. So, I went ahead and had Stacey, my PA, give me a little bit of a fill. Now I am overfilled. I have never had this much trouble with eating. I am also experiencing acid reflux when I go to bed at night.

However, I am also losing weight due to eating mainly Soups and pretty soft foods. Of course, I'm also working out like I was when I first lost the weight which helps.

My dilemma is this: Do I wait until I'm supposed to go back and see her on Dec. 3 and tough it out? Or, do I go back in and have a little taken out? I am thinking I will tough it out for the next 4 weeks and take advantage of this fill to get a jump start on losing weight and then have her take some out next month. Of course, it could loosen a little on its own and make it a no decision for me then.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

I would go back earlier due to the reflux. Also because new habits take three weeks to become routine, and a new habit of eating sliders for three or four weeks may not be a good idea psychologically. Good luck.

[lisacaron 5,075]

@@Ceradad I would go back in and I would have Fluid removed. Sometimes even 1cc can make all the difference. I was having some of these issues very mild, and I went right to the Dr. at the first indication and I had a dilated pouch. I didn't just take their word for it either, I saw the x-ray's and the fluoroscope and the Fluid was just sitting in the pouch and not going past the band faster then a drip. . I had to have nearly all the fluid removed from my band and then be on a liquid diet again for 3 weeks!! That was ROUGH let me tell you. I am still not back at my fill level or even in the green zone and battling it every day so I don't gain back weight I have lost.

Don't hesitate you don't want to cause damage to your organs. You can lose the weight, keep working out and eating sensibly, sliders are not the answer eventually they will drift from shakes and bars to ice cream, Cookies, pastry or other soft high calorie foods. Don't risk it, have them take out a little fluid now and save yourself a large un-fill later if you have problems.

[Ceradad 10]

Ok, so things have calmed down. I now able to eat more solid food and the acid reflux has gone away at night. I still have my appointment in 3 weeks and will re evaluate everything with her then.

Thanks for the posts and advice.