Support, relationships, marriage?

[StanCounty29 70]

What kind of support does everyone have? I haven't told very many people. Mostly the closes people to me. Again I started my process for all of this last year in june, changed my mind tried to do it on my own for one last time. My husband was all for it, and I had a couple of people tht were questioning it! I went bck again this year, basically I prepared myself better mentally and emotionally. But now tht im 100% into it, it feels like I don't hv the same support from my spouse. I'm soo excited about everything and it feels like this time around he just doesn't care. We hv our issues like every other couples, but I just thought it would be different!

I'm mostly terrified on the fact tht it does say in the book, tht I could cause for people to get divorced. Wt should I do?

Help, thx

[Beanthere 5]

Are you going to a support group other than here? If so, take him with you, or even take him to your nutrition classes.
Sometimes the people around us (not going through the procedure) don't really understand the gravity of the matter as much as we would like to think they do. Including them in your journey can help them understand better, so they can be there for you. My honey was a bit worried that the surgery meant that the weight loss would be successful and that I would lose interest in him as my body changed. Sometimes our friends feel the same type of feelings.

When we have obstacles in our lives, we tend to cope with them by surrounding ourselves with like people. If you make a drastic change, your friends and loved ones sometimes feel left out or that you will want to find new friends for the new you. It happens quite a bit. You just have to lean on each other as you always have; include him in on your journey and let him see the benefits of having a new you.

[Naynay31 63]

What kind of support does everyone have? I haven't told very many people. Mostly the closes people to me. Again I started my process for all of this last year in june, changed my mind tried to do it on my own for one last time. My husband was all for it, and I had a couple of people tht were questioning it! I went bck again this year, basically I prepared myself better mentally and emotionally. But now tht im 100% into it, it feels like I don't hv the same support from my spouse. I'm soo excited about everything and it feels like this time around he just doesn't care. We hv our issues like every other couples, but I just thought it would be different!

I'm mostly terrified on the fact tht it does say in the book, tht I could cause for people to get divorced. Wt should I do?

Help, thx

my husband was the same way until we went to support group together and some doctors appointment now he knows I'm serious this time he's on board with me you guys will be fine

[Dabliss111114 180]

My husband went with me to the first seminar and then to my first doc appointment. He's being very supportive, but he's very worried about how this will change me. This is a second marriage for both of us and we've been married for almost 9 years now. I used to be active and fit, but like so many I'm also an emotional eater/stress eater. About 20 years ago (when I only needed to loose 50 or so lbs.) I went on a supervised diet and lost a lot of weight. During that time my first husband and I were in deep trouble with our marriage. He was a cheater, and I blamed myself for not being attractive enough..... blah, blah, you all know that story. When I lost all the weight I started doing things I loved to do, like play golf, swim, hike, etc. He didn't care...the marriage was dead anyhow.

OK...fast forward to the divorce..... UGLY!!!! Need I say more. I ate myself through it, raised my teenage son on my own, and struggled to make ends meet. Ten or so years ago I met my present husband who is truly the light of my life. I was overweight when we met, but not nearly as heavy as I am now. He knows I used to love being active, and so did he some years back. He retired a few years ago, and I stopped working about 2 years ago. He also needs to loose some weight, but he's not nearly in as bad shape as I'm in. If he lost 35lbs. he'd be ok.

I think his biggest fear is that I'll get all healthy again, and want to do things and he's afraid he won't be able to keep up. I've told him that this would be a great opportunity for him to try to change his habits some and maybe loose some weight too. We could get healthy together. He says he agrees and that he'll try but he's pretty resistant to change and a very picky eater.

I think that the decision to do this is ours and ours alone. I think it's important to have a spouse that understands our need to do this, but I think we have to remember that unless they are in the same boat we are they're never going to really "get it". Try to stay positive and encourage your spouse to be part of the journey, but if they're just not able to travel the path with you, don't get discouraged. The end result will be that you(we) will all be healthier, have a new outlook on life, and hopefully our partners will be thrilled to see the energy and renewed spirits we have.

hang in there Naynay31

[StanCounty29 70]

Thank you naynay31 I hope he does change. Cuz the person I want on bored the most is him.

[Tierra T Tij 56]

I really don't have this problem, except my family doesn't support my weight loss endeavors. It really hurts, because I REALLY want them to be supportive of me right now. This is the hardest thing I have gone through, and I've been through A LOT of tough times. Getting my mind ready and on the right track is such a hard struggle and journey for me. For a change, I'm finally at a good space in my life to do this. It is a long, hard road for me, but I know I could get through it.

[StanCounty29 70]

Yes yes thts my mind set. I'm basically doing it for me. Just getting to the point of no caring. I need to do this for me..

[StanCounty29 70]

And now I'm basically stuck cuz I just need to see the dietician so they can send approval for surgery. . But he actually offered to pay cash for my apt to be sooner. The one my ins covered I would hv an apt in jan. I can't wait that long.

[StanCounty29 70]

Yeaaa I finally got a sooner apt. I get to go see the dietician on the 12th of nxt month. I'm really excited and like I said my husband offered to pay for it and now my mother said she'll pay 1/2.. Yeaaaaa soo happy.

[Dabliss111114 180]

I really don't have this problem, except my family doesn't support my weight loss endeavors. It really hurts, because I REALLY want them to be supportive of me right now. This is the hardest thing I have gone through, and I've been through A LOT of tough times. Getting my mind ready and on the right track is such a hard struggle and journey for me. For a change, I'm finally at a good space in my life to do this. It is a long, hard road for me, but I know I could get through it.

You'll get a lot of support from this group. Remember that you're not alone in this and that no matter what our support systems may be, we're all doing it for ourselves and no one else. It's our health, our body, and our mental and self esteem. Hang in there and PM any time you want. I've added you as a friend.