To Spank or not to Spank

[ghettofarm24 0]

late: That's just it, spankings are not what it takes to mold any children to be moral, respectful and responsible adults. It is just the only way you know how to deal with your child.

Think about this, if Jesus had a child, do you think he would ever have hit him? If you say yes, you're dreaming. If Jesus had the patience and love and kindness not to hit anyone, why can't we see it that way?

Jesus never says do as I say and not as I do. The Bible is Gods outline for us to live by. I am sure that Jesus always does it God's way. One major example is the cross--Jesus did not want to go through with the crucifixtion but that was the only way for our salvation. So yes If Jesus had a child I really think he would have spanked him. God's way is always the best way!

[late 0]

Amen Ghettofarm!

[BJean 16]

Spare the rod and spoil the child, huh? Sparing the rod is the equivalent of hating your child? Jesus would spank (hit) his child? Sorry, in spite of your Biblical quotation, I do not believe it is so.

Besides, just because you spank your child, there is no guarantee that you won't have a child who continues to act out. You speak as if some insurance policy comes with each spanking that says you will have a perfect child as a result.

It's interesting to read that some of you have decided that spanking is the proper way to disipline a child and for some reason you've concluded that it is the ONLY way to raise a child who is respectful and well behaved. That is nonsense.

Spanking is a much quicker solution to a child misbehaving than for a parent to take the time to understand the behavior and examine the most effective way to correct the child for that particular behavior. Sure, spanking gets the attention of a child who is out of control. It definitely gives you the upper hand. But it not the best way to raise a child and it is definitely not the only effective means to correct misbehavior.

Those of you who hit your children, whether you tell yourselves it is out of love or whatever, you are hitting your children - spanking is by definition "striking with the open hand." And just because someone is smart enough to be able to lovingly discipline their child without striking them doesn't mean that they're "trying to be friends with them." It may only mean that they have the patience not to resort to striking their child.

There are wild little misbehaved children everywhere you look. Blaming it on the fact that the parents may not spank their children because they want to be "friends" with them, is a total cop out. Physically active and out of control children are as likely to be children of parents who spank as they are to be children of those who choose not to spank.

At least we can be sure that those parents who spank can never be accused of wanting to be friends with their children. And that's a good thing because?

I am my never-spanked grown daughter's best friend and she is mine. I wouldn't trade that relationship for anything in the world and I could never hit her and then declare that it is proof that I don't hate her.

[late 0]

I don't think anyone here is saying that spanking is the only useful form of discipline. And it is not my only form of discipline. There are some bad behaviors that require it so that the child knows there are serious consequences for it. There are other behaviors were grounding or "time-outs" are what is needed. I too was spanked as a child by my mother and father and I do not resent them for it. I am very close to both of them.

[ghettofarm24 0]

I never said if I spank my child he will turn out to be perfect-thats impossible. I use spanking as a tool and there are other tools I use also- I don't spank him every time he does something wrong somtimes other forms of discipline work-it depends on the situation. I don't use it as an Insurance either I just follow God's word and if I do it His way-guess what it will not fail-God's way never fails. My mom spanked me as a child and this may shock you but we are best friends!!!! And I thank her for doing what she did because I needed it. I'm not saying you hate your kid if you don't spank her-thats your decision.

[ghettofarm24 0]

Spare the rod and spoil the child, huh? Sparing the rod is the equivalent of hating your child?

Nobody ever said that except you....thats not even in the Bible.

[BJean 16]

ghetto & late: If I understand you correctly then, you're both saying that spanking is not the only effective means to disipline children. Good, I'm glad we agree at least on that. After reading your earlier posts and the Bible quote, it made me think that you believe that spanking is the best way to disicpline a child and that God approves of hitting your child by virtue of that certain passage in the Bible.

Btw, ghetto, late's the one who quoted the passage from Proverbs 13:24 "He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him." I was only going by what late says is proof that hitting equates to love and sparing the rod equates to hate.

[BJean 16]

P.S. Ghetto- if the Bible is mis-quoted, take it up with late.

[ghettofarm24 0]

Btw, ghetto, late's the one who quoted the passage from Proverbs 13:24 "He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him." I was only going by what late says is proof that hitting equates to love and sparing the rod equates to hate.

Yes and I totally agree with Proverbs 13:24 Thats what it says exactly-"He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him" it never says "spare the rod spoil the child." thats somthing people started to quote I guess. Basically if you love your children you will discipline them, and you need wisdom when doing so...-like I said I don't spank my child every time he does somthing wrong but if its necessary I will spank him and afterwards I will talk with him to make sure he understands why he got a spanking and to let him know I love him with all of my heart and through that he honestly has a change of heart and he comes up to me and loves and kisses on me all the time. I don't just spank and yell and tell him to go to his room.

[BJean 16]

Ghetto: So your last post is the one that's correct about the Bible quote? I guess you hadn't read it or forgot the wording when you repremanded me for saying, spare the rod, hate the child. Whatever. The spare the rod, spoil the child thing probably came about because sensible people thought that "hate" is a pretty strong word when it comes to whipping children or not whipping them.

Like I said, when my dad used to show us love and affection and assure us that our spankings were for our own good, my sisters and I knew the score. He was feeling guilty for whipping us. Hugging us and telling us he loved us was his way of feeling better about the whole thing and it was an effort to reassure himself that he was a good person and a fine parent. We were not nearly as convinced as he was.

[Devana 0]

I am curious to know Devana if you have ever had a strong-willed child? My oldest is the one to push every boundary not do as we ask her and back talk at every turn. That is just the way her personality is. and although I do believe that as an adult some of that rebellious quality will be very useful it is not conducive to the rest of the family's peace nor respectful to us as her parents. She is the one whom we have "spanked" not "hit" on several occasions because reasoning consistent time outs punishment and rewards for good behavior did absoulutely nothing for her. The spanking is always done last not first and is never done out of control or in anger. On the other hand my second child has never been spanked once in his life. Why? differnet personality. He gets it with the other methods. I really do resent it when people accuse those of us who choose to spank of being child abusers. Perhaps you can see it as I do, that every parent has the right to raise their children the way they see fit and I do not want any government telling me I cannot dish out a spanking when its absolutely necessary. Would you allow your children to continue to be outwardly disrespectful to you even after all other attempts at rectifying the situation have been made? If you say yes then you have never experienced the "true" strong-willed child. If you say "no" and have never "spanked" then my reply is the same. You have never experienced the "true" strong-willed child.

Reading the new spanking thread made me remember this one.

Tink, I have a funny story concerning my child. He is indeed a strong willed child who has just turned 15 and is growing into a fine young man.

Shortly after he was born, my husband's brother married a very quiet woman who had two children; a 3 year old and a newborn, lovely children who were also very quiet and "easy".

My son and my BIL's stepchildren were very different, and his youngest and mine were so close in age that it was tempting to compare them. My BIL was always quite verbally critical of us and often said "Use your parental authority" and other such things. He couldn't seem to understand that we were just picking our battles.

Then they had another child, his biological child, who is very much like my son in character and temperament. After a few years my BIL actually apologized to us for being so judgemental. He just didn't realize that kids could be so different.