What to do about Thanksgiving?

[Jersrose43 837]

I think this is a very good topic for ALL of us, @@ready2B! This time of year our celebrating revolves around food, which is something that we each need to deal with no matter where we are in our journey. Whether it's stress about the food itself (what can I eat?) to how other's might view our new eating habits to feelings of missing out on "being part of the tradition." I'm sure there are even aspects I've failed to think about yet.

I'm pre-op and I hope to have surgery mid-November but it could be December before I see the OR. Here's what's on my mind, maybe some of you have suggestions or ideas for me too!

I have a big family and we have lots of young kids and we focus on making memories for them. Our home is usually the hub of all the activities and it's usually a pretty laid back time. I know I can't eat regular food post-op but I'm already wondering how I'll feel engaging in food-related activities that are special to me. Baking bread with my teenage daughters, enjoying a slice of pumpkin pie from one plate and feeding lots of hungry toddlers that gather round with their mouths open like little birds, taking my 10% fee of Halloween candy from the little ones, making gingerbread houses and cuddling up with hot cocoa in front of the fire, making sausage balls for Christmas breakfast...

The dietician and psychologist were both surprised when I told them the degree food has in my life. I make 3 full meals a day and feed 7 people at each meal. Since I'm the kind that really enjoys being a homemaker, I'm already thinking about how I can still make the meals I enjoy serving my family and still be part of the traditions of the season without putting myself in a bind. I'm afraid the truth will be that we will forgo a lot of the activities (especially if I'm not feeling 100%) and my family might be let down.

Algae maybe it's time others took the torch this year. Time to test the theory that what you have instilled over the years has been appreciated and they can carry on for you and with you.

Let them spread their wings a bit. Sit relax and appreciate what you have spent years instilling - a sense of family, love and home.

Try it. You may be surprised. Happily

[ready2B 263]

MsUjima - I understand what you are saying about planning for the worst and then get pleasantly surprised if I feel better than expected. Good advice! Not having dinner here isn't an option, but I think if I turn everyone loose in the kitchen and let them share the cooking amongst themselves, it will be fine. I won't plan on doing any of it myself. My crowd is way too picky for me to please everyone anyway. My son actually loves to cook, so he might really enjoy an opportunity to show off his skills. :-) I think I will plan on resting and just enjoying everyone's company and let them do all the work.

Djmohr - thanks for the feedback about going anywhere. It is a little hard for me to wrap my head around that still. I was thinking earlier "we can stop for lunch somewhere after picking them up from the airport." So now, that doesn't sound like a good plan, does it? I guess a better plan would be have my husband go pick them up while I take a nap and rest up, and they can pick up something for lunch on the way here. I think I need to revise all my thinking about this and plan around me NOT to be able to do much of anything.

[ladypoohbear 123]

Just eat wat you are suppose to. Dont worry about pleasing others. Be yourself. Stick to your journey and happy thanksgiving.

[gahannagal 31]

I want to say ditto to everyone's comments. I also want to say if you are anything like me I didn't want to eat a single thing for weeks. I had some trouble making meals for my family during that time too. I just didn't want to smell or look at food. Also in case you are not feeling this way. You should make sure you have healthy choices in your program available. Put yourself first! I don't know if anyone else feels this way. I feel part of my weight gain was me not putting ME first! They may not understand all of this at the beginning. But when they see the person you become they will support you. I was only 3 weeks out and started doing so many things I hadn't done in 10 years! Wishing you luck for your surgery and the holidays.

[Amyllf2 206]

I can so relate to gahannagal's comment " I didn't want to eat a single thing for weeks." I did not however, have any issue with making family meals. In fact, I had surgery less than a week before Easter and still put a meal on the table. The food didn't bother me, it was the level of energy that was my problem.

We all will deal with these kinds of situations at various stages in our journey. There is no right or wrong answer. There is only your choice. I cooked Easter dinner for my family because I wanted to. I skipped a class reunion picnic at my 3 month mark because I didn't think I could handle it. This weekend we had an early Thanksgiving family meal because people were in town and at 6 months I was able to eat everything and anything but dessert. It was about a small plate, and a spoonful of foods instead of a large plate with big portions. (I'm 6 months post-op)

The other thing I have seen is a change of attitude about food within my family. Your son is coming to visit and to introduce you to a girl. He's not coming to eat. Meals and food play a much less significant role for my whole family now that I am a WLS patient. I see the attitude change in all of us.