What are you telling people at home and at work?

[playlikeworldchamps 595]

not surprised people were heatedly opposed to being told they were liars and dishonest when they simply didn't feel like discussing their personal business in the workplace.

[4andcounting 42]

I haven't lied to anyone. I don't go around telling people that I had a miscarriage last year either. How is it any different? I am a private person NOT a liar. If someone were to point blank ask me if I had surgery I would say yes but that has not happened.

I choose to not talk about personal things with anyone but the people who are close to me, I really don't see what is the problem. Just like some people tell you EVERYTHING about themselves and others keep their lives more private to me it's a personality preference.

[Stevehud 1,790]

while I understand when you say you didn't want to volunteer information. That's not at all what I meant. It's not like I run around saying hey look at me I am having surgery. But to the people I care about, the people who I will rely on for support either directly or indirectly, of course I told. The issue is whether or not you need to lie about it. Saying you had a different surgery , certainly cannot be a privacy issue, since you are admitting to having surgery. The only reason I can come up with is that the person believes the surgery does all the work and they will not have to do anything, so they want to make people who think the same way, that they did it the old fashioned way. Or they do not believe they are obese and somehow think that this is an admission of being obese or as I say, fat.

I know that in talking to my psych person, we talked about people who cannot even admit they are fat, or obese. They say overweight, or yes big boned or, they use terms like "I'm big", or plus sized. To me my breakthrough that I needed help, was when I could finally look in the mirror and call myself fat.

[4andcounting 42]

I didn't say I had a different surgery; I did have a hernia surgery at the same time.

The ONLY reason I had to tell my supervisor about my surgery at all is because our internal policies dictate that when we request more than two days off in a row we MUST state the reason why. Now if I had said I was going to Disney world and that's why I needed off than that would be a lie. I really didn't even want to tell that I was having the hernia surgery (which I did have) but I was forced to and it is also a privacy issue to me.

I did not nor do I currently have any delusions concerning my weight. That’s a very unfair assumption you have made. I was always very tiny until 8 years ago and each year after I have gotten bigger and bigger until I was morbidly obese. Even now 61 lbs later I am still fat just not as fat.

I definitely don't think my surgery has done all the work for me. I have worked my butt off for what I have lost. Considering I have 3 close family members who had the same surgery I knew exactly what I was getting myself into and how much I would need to work.

Yesterday while at a youth sporting event another mother was talking to me about another individual who apparently at some point weighed 300 lbs and now weighs maybe 100 lbs soaking weight. I made the comment that she looks good and should be proud of herself. That person responded back to me "Why should she be proud? She had surgery that's the only reason she lost that weight, she is lazy and should be ashamed." Now confronted with this situation I had no choice but to admit that I also had surgery and that was a very unfair statement of her to make. I had never discussed my weight loss with this person, we are not close. So I am not hiding it, I am just not shouting from the roof tops my personal business but obviously when confronted with the situation I will tell someone I have had weight loss surgery.

Edited October 27, 2014 by 4andcounting

[GreenEyes604 753]

@@4andcounting There are ignorant people all over the place that have no clue whatsoever the pre and post op processes, struggles, hurtles, and disappointments that those of us who are working toward, or already had bariatric surgery. My philosophy on this whole thing is that I will share what I want with who I want, and I don't owe ANYONE an explanation for ANYTHING!!!

This is my life, my body, my decision, and quite frankly I don't give a rats ass what anyone else thinks or feels about it. No one but me has had to live with me being overweight for the past 40 years, and nobody but me will have to deal with me afterward.

Don't ever feel like you have to explain or justify yourself to anyone. I'm telling my boss that I am going to have surgery and that's all the information he needs. I can provide a note from my doctor saying I will be under doctor's care for a specific length of time, but there will not be an explanation as to what type of surgery I'm having because its nobody's business but mine.

If asked for more details I don't have a problem telling people its a personal matter and not something I choose to discuss with them. It wouldn't matter if I chose to lie to someone or tell them the truth, in the end its my decision and how I deal with it has absolutely nothing to do with me being delusional about the process, the outcome, or how I got to it.

Do you sistagirl! And you know what they say if you can't take a joke...

[Stevehud 1,790]

If people think the surgery is cheating. Then educate them. tell them, say its a shame she will never have carbonated soda again or the other things we gave up. let them see the truth. then call them a bitchy shrew and walk away.

[holliwood1980 143]

I told my immediate family. I also told my closest friend and boss. I work in a salon and my surgery isn't untill December so I am sure everyone will know by then. Lol. I don't mind if people know, I just don't find it necessary to shout it from the rooftops.