What are you telling people at home and at work?

[Timmy2shirts 3]

I have some time to go yet 3 more weigh ins. Not sure how to tell my boss. She won't give me a hard time because I need time off, but she is a very gullible person. Someone told her years ago the surgery is a bad alternative and she is against people having it. She doesn't understand how it really is a last alternative tha gives us a better chance. I thought of not saying anything and doing the emergency route. However I think I will be honest but not tell her for about another month yet. I also think it will be hard to cover up the pre surgery diet. I'm a private person as well. Only my wife, mom and in laws know. I'm not embarrassed but feel I need to keep it on a need to know basis.

[Jrs_lovely1 12]

I'm with you. As far as work goes there are a hand full of people that know that I am in the beginning process of WLS. Others don't know not because I want to keep it hush hush but because my absence or state of being doesn't Impact them.

As of now I'm thinking of taking about 2 weeks or less off and im saying that I had surgery. Simply surgery. They don't need to know what kind or the how's/whys. I'm a private person, they know I'm a private person so im leaving it at that. Once I return and begin to transform, I plan on revealing. I'm not looking foward to some of the judgement but I'm confident in my decision so going toe to toe with questions is ok with me. I won't be sharing with people who I know just want to me nosey but I'm looking forward to providing some education on the procedure to those who are interested or ignorant.

Telling my husband and mother was the difficultiest for me. My husband was supportive but my mom gave me the whole "why, it's extreme...yada yada." I told her that I wasn't asking for advice but I was telling her because she matters to me and I don't want to leave her out of a major event in my life. She is supportive now. She doesn't agree with it but is supportive nonetheless. My sister is the only other family member besides my hubby and mom that know. No one else will know until it gets closer or after. Depends on who it is. Again, it's a known fact I'm private so me going off the grid for a bit won't seem too questionable.

I do have to inform my church. It would be odd for me to miss several weeks in a row. Also my Pastors are my cousins so it would be even more odd to miss and not have a good reason so I have to tell them it's surgery and it's elective and nothing's wrong with me.

Ultimately I think it's your business. It's ok for your surgery to be on a need to know basis if you desire.

Edited October 19, 2014 by Jrs_lovely1

[finediva 979]

I have some time to go yet 3 more weigh ins. Not sure how to tell my boss. She won't give me a hard time because I need time off, but she is a very gullible person. Someone told her years ago the surgery is a bad alternative and she is against people having it. She doesn't understand how it really is a last alternative tha gives us a better chance. I thought of not

saying anything and doing the emergency route. However I

think I will be honest but not tell her for about another

month yet. I also think it will be hard to cover up the pre

surgery diet. I'm a private person as well. Only my wife,

mom and in laws know. I'm not embarrassed but feel I

need to keep it on a need to know basis.

she's against people having the surgery, and? Why does that matter? Why do you feel the need to share your decision to have surgery with her? How is your personal life tied into your work life? I refuse to have pictures of my family on my desk at work. I don't discuss my children, vacation plans or what I do over the weekends. My friends do not work in my office. I speak to everyone in my office and I'm friendly, but keep my personal life private. They are the people I work with. I don't socialize with them. Finally, why would your pre op diet be an issue? Do you have group lunches?

[curvycurlyfit 120]

I told one coworker. I told my boss that im haveing prkblems with my stomach and will be filing FMLA thats all she needs to know. They dont have a right to full disclosure.

[txdogmom 30]

I am so with you - I am not ashamed of my decision but I am very private. I've only told my sister; my 3 brothers have no clue. I did find out I have a hiatal hernia so if anyone asked and got in my face, I could use that excuse. For those around me who have noticed my eating habits change, I've told them I'm having a "lifestyle change". (which is true). I'm eating a high protein/low carb diet (true), exercising more (true) and in general making me more of a focus in my life (also true).

For work, I've told people I have some surgery coming up and I'll be on leave for a week. (I get sleeved on Monday, 10/20). I did this because we get dinged on our bonus if we take sick days without pre-approval. I set myself up for short term disability so if I go beyond a week, it pays me instead of using up my vacation days. In general, what you tell people is up to you. HIPPA laws prevent your boss from asking.

Frankly this is what I like to call a "none ya" moment. It's none your business. Share with those you want to only.

[angierue 214]

It's definitely a personal choice who you tell and how much you tell them. But for me, total and complete honesty was the only way I would go.

I'm not ashamed or embarrassed about my choice. I've been big my whole life. I've tried doing it on my own. And anyone who thinks this is the "easy way" out can kiss my @$$. I

That being said, I have been greeted with nothing but support from those that know. My entire staff at work knows and they have all told me how proud they are of me and how they couldn't do what I've been doing (my pre-op diet has been very strict).

My family knows our history and while we're all bigger, I've always been the standout because of how much larger than them I am. I'm excited about being the "little sister" to my two older brothers and not just the younger one. Lol

Yes, the decision to have WLS surgery is very personal and the choice to share about it even more so. But my hope is that my strength and courage to do this will be an inspiration to someone like me who has struggled with their weight issues. Why would I want to lie and make them feel even worse about themselves because I was miraculously able to do it with "diet and exercise" while they struggle every day to keep 1 pound off?

Maybe I'm just lucky because I've got an amazing supportive network of family, friends, and coworkers. But being open and honest is the only way I could ever see myself on this journey.

[bobbyswife 862]

@@angierue you couldn't have said it better!

To everyone else - This is a HOT topic and it's sad that this one sensitive issue has gotten people so heated up that a few are almost verbally bashing some that choose to share. It's a personal choice for everyone. I'm new here but I've spent an enormous amount of time on other support forums and the OP asked for opinions and that's what she got. But I think we need to all remember to love and support each other no matter what anyone chooses to share or not share. Love and light people. Love and light!

[Mojo56 88]

I'm a very open person and have recently shared my health issues, diabetes and WLS on Facebook and amongst my friends. The amount of support has been overwhelming and gives me tremendous encouragement as I approach my surgery. I have had the occasional " won't diet and exercise work for you" but mostly positive comments.

I own a business ( physical therapy ) and recently decided to be forthright with my employees about what my condition and plans . I'm planning on sending them an email 2 weeks before surgery. While this approach is not right for everyone I like to believe the best of people and hope for their support!

[kpar9099 11]

My office knows I am out for surgery but never asked me for what. I had to have an additional surgery of having a stomach tumor removed. So my stomach for sleeve is a little smaller than normal. Still haven't decided what to say if they ask. Might just say I had a tumor removed from my stomach. Still waiting on my biopsy results. Say some extra prayers for me please

[Teensiebaby 6]

I don't work so I don't have that to contend with. My husband knows and is very supportive. I told my sister and dad who asked if it was safe and my son who told me their are other ways to loose weight mom. I basically told my son who is 23 that I know he will be getting married in the next couple years and I wanted to look great for him. He said that is very nice but I love you how you are. I have told two close friends and they are supportive. My one friend had gastric bypass about 8 years ago. She is lot of inspiration. My surgery is scheduled for November 11th.

[vsgcrystalg 21]

Thank you everyone who took the time to post their opinions. I see I am not the only one who feels that way I do about this subject. My surgery is scheduled exactly 1 month from today (Yeah!) and I will begin my pre op in about 3 weeks. I appreciate all of your words. I realize that even though I am not entitled to let anyone know anything its good to let those who are close to me know whats going on. I never thought about it as a dirtily little secret but I guess I am treating it that way. I never thought about this as an opportunity to educate people on taking the initiative to get my health on track . People can be so judgmental and may view my decision as "taking the easy way out" but I don't care. I have a 5 year old and a 10 month old and would like to be able to be active with them and not get tired or feel like I am going to pass out. I will probably end up telling only a handful of people just so I can have a slightly bigger support system. I agree with bobbyswife that no matter what we all choose this site is intended to be a support network with people who have been through what we all have been through. We know the struggles and stigma that comes with being over weight. We know how people can easily judge others for their appearance and its so nice to have a site like this so others can no they are not alone. Lets be positive and support all those who need it!

[alwaysvegas 702]

I told all family, friends, and co-workers along the way and I was met with amazing support. The only negativity I had were a few people who "knows someone" who either had complications or gained much of the weight back. And even those negative comments weren't said out of malice, but out of genuine concern.

I love talking about the surgery, the preparations I made, and my continued efforts along the way.

I can say that two co-workers are now doing their own research on weight loss surgery and certainly do hope they find what works for them. I'll certainly support them in whatever they choose.

I do get co-workers who say they feel sorry for me when we get some catered food in the office (and there has been alot recently) and I don't eat. I told them please don't feel sorry for me; I feel great, I'm making a choice not to eat the catered food, and I'm usually not that hungry anyway.

[goinghappy 25]

When I read all of the amazing stories on this post, I feel the support and honesty! We do not have to agree with opinions or choices. But, I have learned some important points and respected each point of view. I just want to say that I am proud of all of us that are stepping up, completing this process, and moving forward to a long and healthier life! I feel very positive about our support group here! And, I believe that we can be honest and helpful by sharing our opinions. I know that we all have different circumstance in our lives. But, if we can help by sharing, it is certainly worth the time in typing!! I appreciate you.

[Packerfan61964 293]

True that you are under NO obligation to tell anyone your personal business. But what I don't understand is why lie about it???? If someone would lie about WLS what else would they lie about?? It makes that personlose character and seem less creditable. Is this person ashamed of having WLS?? Honestly, myself, I am more ashamed of letting myself go and getting myself into this position than stepping up to the plate and doing something about it There's alot of reasons why people become overweight. Medication.....depression for starters..... food is an addiction just like drugs, cigarettes, gambling and alcohol. I have beaten 4 out of the 5. I've been obese for 20 yrs....I've tried EVERY diet in the book and haven't been successful for very long. Research has proven that only 5% of people who lose any substantial amount of weight will gain it back in time. Hell, even if someone has WLS, they can gain it back in time!!!

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

So now it's a character issue.

S.M.H.