People Treat You Differently

[deelavi 17]

How do you deal with people treating you better after you start really losing weight? I am down 30 pounds. I am starting to feel weird about how people are nicer and listen more.

[thesuse2000 698]

Yeah - I find I become much more interesting as I lose weight.

Alas, I fear that I may be guilty of doing the same. We humans are imperfect and we generally just prefer interacting with prettier, slimmer people. It's something for all of us to try to stay conscious of.

[Nicole Cloud 39]

If people treat me different so be it, because no matter what people will always judge a book by its cover. my main focus was on the people I knew would love me either fat or skinny or in between which is close friends and family.

[mamaofmatthew 51]

i think it goes both ways. people treat you differently, but as we lose weight we become more confident and more approchable, outgoing, etc. so i think we invite more attention than just being the wallflower.

[deelavi 17]

Mamaofmatthew. Good point. Thanks!

[thelion99 12]

Well said, mamaofmatthew!

Before my surgery in Aug 2014, there were two previous occasions in my life where I lost 100 and 70 pounds, respectively. When I lost the 100 pounds nearly 20 years ago, everyone (even my bosses) made it a point to compliment me on how I looked, how beautiful my suits and shoes were, you name it. Then, when my weight started to creep up again, the compliments stopped. I lost 70 pounds about 8 years ago, and it was again obvious that when you're slimmer, people are ready with compliments.

I've lost 67 pounds so far since my initial consultation on 1/29, and the compliments have again started. The difference in how I react to them this time, however, is that I know in my heart of hearts that the rest of the world still hasn't seen The Best Me I Will Be. So I accept them graciously, but I don't let them over-inflate my ego or bother me. I take them at face value and know that people are people. We are naturally drawn to our definition of "beauty".

I've got a long way to go, and it will take awhile to reach my goal weight of 150 pounds. I'm also in the process of a complete smile makeover, so the world will see a lot more awesomeness from me over the next 24 months. I'm just blessed to have been given the opportunity to reboot my health. And I'm not squandering this chance to be The Best Me I Will Be.

Good luck, everyone, and great job on your progress!

[downsizingdiva 459]

I really hope that I don't resent the new attention and better treatment. I think I'm going to be ill about the fact that they could have been nice/attentive all along. I am really looking for a"one liner" for the new compliments and especially one for when people ask me "how much have you lost" because under no circumstances will I talk numbers with every Tom dick n Harry. Most people mean well by asking that but I think it's really pretty rude. If anyone has any replies you use to kinda nip that in the bud, lemme know

[downsizingdiva 459]

Also I didn't mean for that do to like a profanity lol..that's a phase we use around here lol

[haleytrim 244]

Hey Darby, not to worry about the censor thing. I used s n a t c h as in grab something and they censored me!!! LOL

[downsizingdiva 459]

Ok great! I thought it l looked bad. Thank you!

[phx2sxv 16]

I'm at loss. I'm almost a year out and down 90 pounds. I don't get out too much but when I do I've noticed I get treated differently by almost everyone! I've had grocery store clerks ask if I got a divorce. I've had people I've known my whole life tell me WLS is cheating & the easy way out. I've been asked if I was on drugs and if my husband was having an affair. One local doctor here told me he preferred me fat. One ex co worker went on & on I front of his wife of how skinny I was. I was embarrassed for once for being thin. Why can't people just be happy for me for losing weight? No matter how I did it!?! Obviously I qualified for it because of high blood pressure & signs of diabetes. Why can't people just say hi and go on with their life? Why do they feel the need to 20 question survey me & talk about me? I'm so frustrated and saddened by how I've been treated Especially by those I've called my friends. My dad died at 62 from complications of diabetes & my brother is 45 and totally blind from diabetes. Anyone have any suggestions on how to handle public humiliation for being thin from VSG? I'm heartbroken by how people are treating me! Not everyone is so negative but I have gotten more negative then positive. I used to be out going but have become very reserved & a hermit.

Edited April 19, 2015 by phx2sxv

[miller1109 116]

Yeah those that have been nicer, I tend not to give the time of day to. If you didn't think I mattered when I was fat, they don't deserve too much extra attention when I got thin, Most of them are jealous. So I just move on, women are horrible to each other. I wish all women would build each other up no matter what weight one might be. I never preach or boast about my weight loss. I am just extremely happy with myself which is making my life much more pleasurable despite some people.

[2bullymom 44]

I agree with mamaofmatthew here. When we feel better about ourselves we exude confidence and confidence is attractive! I am down 35# and I am already noticing people reacting to me differently. Part of it is human nature, yes there is something to the being drawn to attractive people thing. But the largest part is I feel better! Where as before I literally only owned 3 pair of jeans and about 5 or 6 t shirts that I could fit in to, now some of my "skinnier" clothes are fitting. That makes me feel better about myself, which means I now take time to make myself look good. Let's face it when we are chubby and have the limited range of clothing I did depression is your best friend. Try not to judge those who are treating you differently, but remember those who have been by your side all along.

[phx2sxv 16]

2bullymom miller1109

You are absolutely correct on everything!! I did do this for myself and my health! I shouldn't allow catty jealous or just hateful people get me down! It took a lot of courage & tears to get where I am today! Thank you for your encouragement and support. I really needed it! ????. May you all have a blessed and wonderful week. Thank you again.