deftonestiffany 17 Posted October 15, 2014 so I got my official surgery date today!!! this is supposed to be a day of happiness! excitement! I see a light at the end of the tunnel!!! I call my fiancé to tell him the great news, and inform him to get things arranged at work, make preparations etc! his reaction?............. .................................."uh-huh"................................ this kind of attitude, not even a hint of support makes me just not want to go. support and encouragement is SO IMPORTANT to me. and when im alone in this, it makes venturing out into an unknown element even scarier and harder. imagine how I will feel on D-Day??? it will make me feel worse if no positives is given. people who see you got through something not easy and still have no support for you are selfish people. I am frustrated and pissed off. and I don't know how to handle people like this. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rovobay 920 Posted October 15, 2014 CONGRATS!!! what have been his reactions prior to your approval? has he been supportive of this choice? I am sure from an outside perspective people just assume that all these cases are approved and things just move forward. see how things are when you get home. Things now start to get real. perhaps there is fear (there often is) of you losing weight and moving on.... talk in person when you see each other tonight. hoping for the best. take care. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
deftonestiffany 17 Posted October 15, 2014 thank you for your reply im actually having surgery in mexico. im from Canada so he IS scared. but I have done EXTENSIVE RESEARCH. hours....days o it. and I haven't made this decision lightly. he doesn't care to sit down and have an informative pow wow with me so he is uneducated of the process. I think right now he is having a hard time accepting that I wont be fat anymore.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
*Lexie* 1,486 Posted October 15, 2014 Maybe he is having a hard time accepting that you won't be fat because he's afraid you'll easily be able to go out and find someone better. And let's face it, you probably will. But what he doesn't get is that it won't be because you're skinny, rather it'll be because he's not supportive. Boys are dumb! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DizzyLib 45 Posted October 15, 2014 Congrats!!! This is a huge decision and yes (I wish too) that all our loved ones could be as supportive and as excited as we wish they could be for us. It's very disappointing and we must take a moment to acknowledge this ( BUT please remember firstly YOU are doing this for YOU...no one else can live IN you nor know your distress at being overweight. No one can know what it's taken for you to reach this point in your life and make this decision. Sure it may be difficult for your fiance...he may be grappling about how to handle this or the future. BUT it will be a test for you both and a time for him to "Step Up". You may have to ask this of him. I hope you also have one or two other people who can be that support for you also. Hang in there...all these changes are scary, but you have a new life to look forward too!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shellyd88 463 Posted October 16, 2014 Hi if he is having this unsupportive attitude now how will he behave after? if this is his general way of being its better u know now and consider this may not be a person u want in your life in the long term to quote a tv dr the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior u may have to be your own strongest ally I do know how it feels to not have anyone to count in it hurts however being unwilling to put up with ppls BS and standing up for yourself and expecting support when needed and respect always makes u stronger person we must have expectations of ppl in our lives and hold to standards or we just keep drawing these types of ppl into our lives best of luck to you Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dragonfly1111 61 Posted October 16, 2014 so I got my official surgery date today!!! this is supposed to be a day of happiness! excitement! I see a light at the end of the tunnel!!! I call my fiancé to tell him the great news, and inform him to get things arranged at work, make preparations etc! his reaction?............. .................................."uh-huh"................................ this kind of attitude, not even a hint of support makes me just not want to go. support and encouragement is SO IMPORTANT to me. and when im alone in this, it makes venturing out into an unknown element even scarier and harder. imagine how I will feel on D-Day??? it will make me feel worse if no positives is given. people who see you got through something not easy and still have no support for you are selfish people. I am frustrated and pissed off. and I don't know how to handle people like this. okay I completely understudy what you're feeling. It is very frustrating we are all her for support. Send me messages anytime I will do whatever o can to help. My man definitely didn't want me to have surgery because it was so permanent. Now, he's on board and very supportive. I'm 12wks post-op. Trust me based on some of the comments said he didn't want me to do the surgery. But it went well and is great! Good luck. Talk to me anytime Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
