starting pre-op liquids tomorrow, surgery oct 23rd

[rachel_b 5]

hey everyone, just wanted to write a little bit about what i'm about to go through and how i'm feeling.

I told everyone about my surgery but my boss and co-workers, at this point i don't want any negativity so i'm still undecided on when or if i will actually tell them. I felt through this whole journey that i had alot of support but as the days near i'm starting to doubt that. My fiance was not really supportive in my decision because he has heard the horror stories and stories of people constantly being sick and throwing up and i explained how this is hopefully different from the gastric bypass and doesn't have dumping syndrome issues and since then i thought he was pretty supportive. Now, that i'm scheduled to start my full liquids tomorrow, i'm worried that he isn't going to be as supportive as i initially thought. Tonight was my "last dinner" (that sounds so silly) and he came home late after my son and i already ate, gulped his food down and then out the door to take our son to football practice. I'm sitting here so hurt.... like the last dinner i could have with my family for several weeks and it was no big deal to him that he was late.... am i over re-acting because or are these normal emotions? i just feel like now, i'm going to be alone.... help!!

[built2livenotexist 119]

I haven't had my surgery yet; I'm the day before you. But I started my pre-op last Wednesday and I can say I'm the only person in the house who's made any changes; this includes coffee/caffeine, smoking and the diet itself. I'm also the only who is morbidly obese. Sigh. I do my best in relationships when I ask for what I need though. I am not sure about your fiancé but you can't know how your decision may be rolling around in his head. He may be anxious or worried as well and not say anything for fear of not being supportive. Did you bring up the "last meal" and how important it was to you to share it as a family?

I had to dredge out my will and life insurance policy info for my mom. She'll be caring for my son and I didn't want to go there, but I have to ,as a responsible parent, acknowledge the risk. My mother poo - pooed me away which hurt my feelings. Here I am trying to be sensible about it and she's calling me silly. Later on, she came and told me that it suddenly became real when I brought her the documents and that she'd only been thinking about me losing weight and getting healthier but no other possibilities. She was scared and deflected; my tough old battle axe RN mom did the best she could so that she could feel better about being scared. It just didn't feel good on my end.

Perhaps you can arrange for a late night snack in bed with your guy. Something you both enjoy, maybe? This is a huge change for you and thus for those you love and who love you. Change is good but it can be scary and uncomfortable. The benefit of the doubt is always a good first step for me when I feel offended or let down by someone close. JMO.

[Ready 4 Changes 24]

Dont stress the "last"meal... look forward to the "new normal". My surgery is October 21st. I have spent the last few days on high Protein, and low carbs. I start my full clear liquid diet tomorrow. I have decided to not allow my mind... get in the way of my determination. We ARE going to eat normal food again peeps... we ARE going to get past the first few weeks ... just fine. Mind over matter... If you don't mind... it DONT matter...

Turn your thoughts around.. not about what you didn't get, or may not be getting and think about the light at the end of the tunnel. It will be worth it! I am saying this for you benefit and mine! We are all here for a reason, we need change in our weight to experience a happier healthier lifestyle... Don't let your mind play evil tricks on you before you even get there. Stay focused on the positive, accept the reality of the work ahead of you... and don't let anyone .... get in the way of your goal. I chose to share only with my husband, and recently my best friend. I did not want anyone questioning my decision and adding more pressure. Give yourself permission to stay private about it until you feel ready. We are have doubt and fear... but you remember what is was that made you decide to do the surgery. Don't lose sight of that.

Stay strong.... this is for you ... no one else.

FYI:I repeat that to myself daily!

I am a few days ahead of you... I hear everything you have said, I have felt what you feel. I am simply making a conscience effort to see the pros over the cons.

Blessings