How open are you with your employer re:surgery plans?

[MaureenVA 35]

I have Kaiser with a 6mo program to get to surgery. I'm A-ok with that and actually looking forward to the process. However, it will require either schedule changes or time off 2-3 times per month.

In general, I'm not sharing about the surgery. Obviously, my husband knows, as do some close friends...definitely only about 5-7 people IRL. I don't want to lie to my employer....but I also don't think my medical procedure is any of their business.

Thoughts?

[shellyd88 463]

Hi Maureen u don't have to lie you aren't required to tell the law gives u the right to privacy u can simply say u are having a surgical procedure that requires some testing and u will need to take some time for dr appts if pushed say I'm sorry I don't wish to share at this time perhaps after its over and I'm feeling better I'll feel like sharing .... That doesn't mean u need to if u don't feel comfortable it's just a exit to a conversation u might not want to have a get away plan so to speak lol good luck!

[MsUjima 109]

Take a good look at your employers written policy and actual practice regarding sick leave/time off. I don't think the law gives you a complete right to privacy. In general, If you are going to use sick leave, ask for time off the employer can request medical certification. Personally, I understand not wanting to tell your employer - but you don't want to blindside them either - it could make them unsympathetic to your situation if you need time off. Here is an article that discusses employer/employee right: http://www.gfrlaw.com/pubs/GordonPubDetail.aspx?xpST=PubDetail&pub=478

[LisaCO 169]

I didnt want to say anything to my employer in the beginning but when the time came I had to tell them. I took the FMLA it gives you 12 weeks of time off for medical reasons & helps me secure my position. I was also sick last December. I had used up 7-weeks of my fmla & im taking 6 weeks off for this surgery. My employer has went above & beyond to allow me the allotted time plus they are going to get donated PTO to help me get a paycheck after my 5 weeks of PTO has run out. Im thankful they are supportive of my situation.

[shellyd88 463]

LisaCO that's so awesome that's great to hear so many employers just don't want to hear about problems illness or need for time off only care about being inconveinced it's refreshing to see someone not be made to feel bad for taking a little time off good for u!

[winning_by_losing 107]

When I started the process I saw 2 options.

1 - Tell nobody and just work with HR for FMLA.

2 - Be open about it and work with my boss to figure out what would work best for me.

I opted for #2 and am very glad I did. Had I gone the FMLA route, my surgeon told me he would not clear me for work until 6 weeks out regardless of my progress (legality). While I know technically something like this isn't supposed to affect your status at work, it definitely would have for me. Who knows what I'd have walked back into 6 weeks later.

I instead chose to explain what I was having done, the "expected" post-surgery process as well as potential options. We came up with an agreement that I'd take PTO for a week, work from home for 2 more weeks then return to normal (with the exception of the appointments, support group meetings, etc...). This allowed me to have a clear conscious while recovering and when I was able to get my life back to normal earlier than expected, they were happy to adjust.

I know everyone has their reasoning for who they tell and why, but just figured I'd share my experience. If you want to keep it all secret, as already mentioned, legally they cannot ask you for details as long as you work with HR and the process they have in place.

[MisforMimi 760]

I'm in the process of getting an HR certification and I'm learning a bit about the process. Technically, being obese with chronic health conditions and having surgery qualifies as disability, given you 9 months off and protected status. None of us really need that.

FMLA gives you 12 weeks off if you qualify and places your position in a protected status. Both options require that you have medical certification from a physician. Your doctor could be vague saying you have a x health condition requiring inpatient surgically intervention and you can return to work in x weeks with x modifications. That paperwork is submitted to HR who is mandated to keep it private.

If you work in a small office and your manager is your HR professional, then you run the risk of letting cat out of the bag before you may have wanted to.

You could also choose to simply take vacation time and keep it totally private BUT what happens if at the end of 1, 2 or 3 weeks of vacation and you're not cleared by your surgeon to go back to work or you simply feel like you may need more time off or god forbid you have a complication? Now you would have to complete FMLA paperwork anyway. Your work team would / could be highly suspicious by you not coming back from "vacation" and HR will make you claim the previous period of time as FMLA.

If you want to maintain privacy, you can take the FMLA, be truthful on the forms to HR, but simply tell your co-workers you are taking medical leave to have surgery. If you're old enough everyone will think you're having a hysterectomy! But not coming back from medical leave when expected is more understandable than vacation.

Also every company has policies regarding leave, as stated above I would advise you read up on it. I was describing federal law above so what ever policy your company has had to be more generous to the employee or they would be in violation of federal law which is usually not the case.

[Bryan Graeve 50]

I chose to tell my hiring manager about my WLS, along with only a few other close relatives and friends. I guess I wanted to impress my manager, let him know I was committed to a healthier lifestyle .. so the new me will be deserving of a big raise and promotion right? I can keep dreaming My manager was very cool with the news and was very supportive of it. No problem with the 1 week off for WLS + 2 weeks work from home to recover.

As a sidenote, I chose not to tell my coworkers; although after losing over 50 lbs since August some may know what's going on.

[journey 14 14]

I chose to keep it private. My boss knew I was having my gallbladder removed and I had some other health issues but I didn't get into detail with the boss or co-workers. HR knew because of the FMLA forms but I asked for confidentiality regarding my surgery with boss and HR and of course HR can't breech that. I felt it wasn't their business. I only missed 7 days of work. Of course people might make their own assumptions and especially when they have complimented me on my weightloss!

[Katherine Durkee 9]

I told my boss as soon as I made the decision to pursue the surgery. I asked her to keep it confidential, did tell her she could tell the dept head if she felt she needed to. Gave me some time to get my head around the idea. by the time surgery actually happened I had told pretty much everyone in my life. Here is the best part. Everyone and I mean every single person I know has been 100% supportive and a big help to me in my journey. I don 't know what I'd do without my family and friends.

Oh, I took one week as vacation and then worked from home for two weeks and went back after three weeks. I was tired, but otherwise fine.

[Jols 27]

I decided to keep it private and use my vacation time. I work from home so going back to work is a lot easier than if I had to go to a workplace.

[Dhdhshhshd 42]

I'm an HR Manager, and I told my boss and my staff, and advised them that I wasn't telling many people, so requested privacy. I told very few people.

Provided you're eligible for FMLA, I'd ask for it. Your doctor only has to provide enough information for your employer to be able to determine if your leave will be protected by FMLA. There are specific guidelines set by the DOL that the employer must follow when evaluating an FMLA request, and there are plenty of other pieces of information your doctor can provide without disclosing the diagnosis. However, speaking from the employer's perspective, it's much easier when the employee chooses to be a little more open about things. If you're eligible for the surgery from a medical and insurance standpoint and you're eligible for FMLA with your employer, I can't see why they'd deny the request. FMLA approved time (up to 480 hrs/yr) can't be counted against your attendance record or mentioned in your performance review either. If your concern is confidentiality, your employer is required by law to protect your privacy. HR is only supposed to share the fact that you're approved, time expected to be missed, restrictions, etc. with your supervisor. They can't freely share your confidential medical info. Good luck!

Edited November 5, 2014 by TinaC

[micmt 120]

I went the fmla route since my director really did not want me taking off for a week. I had told the director about 45 days out and she said not until December. Once I got fmla turned in her tone changed. But I work in healthcare. I expected privacy even though I did not tell her. She posted the type of leave on the schedule "fmla" so everyone started asking questions. I gently reminded the director about personal and confidential and she quickly removed it. So still only a few people at work know. Or maybe everyone knows but has just not said anything. Lol

[mistybell 8]

I'm at the very beginning of my process that requires a six month physician supervised weight management program with weekly meetings. I chose to be open with my boss because I'm lucky enough to have a very understanding manager who is willing to work with me. One of the advantages to having been open is that I was able to schedule the weekly weight management program meetings over an extended lunch on Mondays and not have to attend the evening meeting which is much more convenient for me and my family.

[Emmyandlisa 12]

I have Kaiser and a very understanding boss. I go Monday night though because it's easier for me. Good luck to you!