OCTOBER 2014

[Beni 1,484]

@@amylynns

I think your Breakfast doesn't sound that bad. My NUT tells me the key thing is not so much what you eat (as long as you are within the range of healthy food) but how you eat. Those of us that get in trouble are the ones who are not following these requirements. We have to eat 3 meals and they have to last a good portion of time. 20 to 25 minutes. I don't usually make it but I try. And then a couple Snacks. There have been days that I was more like 10 tiny Snacks and no meals. NO GOOD. If I don't eat a proper meal, I am a little hungry two hours later.

I am so proud of you forgoing back to school and pursue your dream. This is it folks. Time to rock and roll!

[LisaCO 169]

@@LisaCO

Absolutely running into these problems. The plumber was checking me out, imagine that. He was full on flirting too, OMG. I honestly did not know what to do. I regressed back to high school, the last time this was going on. My inner reaction was - you creep. But then, a part of me liked it. I am in no danger of going down that road but I could see how someone single could replace food with sex. It scares me a little because other women probably deal with this all their lives and have learned to cope. We on the other end are completely unprepared with the self confidence to handle it. When we were obese there was a little comfort in being invisible. That cloak is gone. Now we have to face the world in a new way. I don't think my husband knows how to handle it either. But then maybe he needs to because we were taken for granted for so long we became pieces of furniture. Like a comfortable recliner that is always there. We must take life in our own hands and carve a path in the full knowledge that we are "ALL THAT" and we deserve nothing but the best. As I put my foot forward everyday I want it to be to become better and make the world around me better. Nearly one year on, I am at a point were I think I can look towards being amazing become I am, I always was but I was lost in a sea of despair and self pity. I wouldn't even speak up because I felt I was the fat woman nobody cared about.

Beni that is perfect! You describe it wonderfully. Thank you

[tacycakes 127]

@@LisaCO that picture of you with your husband is so good. You are so pretty and I agree with the guy that you also look very feminine.

My husband told me about 3 days ago that he was getting nervous also because the guys at work told him he should be on alert.

Thanks guys... Now I have to coddle him. It was, "where are you going?" And I'd say "to the movies" and he'd tell me to have fun. Now he's like," should I go?" Uhmm, No! (He's one of those loud movie people that talks like he's in the living room and eats loudly and crunches ice. Everyone gives the evil eye.) I learned long ago to never go to movies with him.

By the way, our 19th anniversary is in a week. Between him and my first husband, I've been married for 25 of my 49 years. Yeesh! I've been taking care of other people a long time! Nice to have devoted a year to myself. Congratulations me!

[LisaCO 169]

@@LisaCO that picture of you with your husband is so good. You are so pretty and I agree with the guy that you also look very feminine.

My husband told me about 3 days ago that he was getting nervous also because the guys at work told him he should be on alert.

Thanks guys... Now I have to coddle him. It was, "where are you going?" And I'd say "to the movies" and he'd tell me to have fun. Now he's like," should I go?" Uhmm, No! (He's one of those loud movie people that talks like he's in the living room and eats loudly and crunches ice. Everyone gives the evil eye.) I learned long ago to never go to movies with him.

By the way, our 19th anniversary is in a week. Between him and my first husband, I've been married for 25 of my 49 years. Yeesh! I've been taking care of other people a long time! Nice to have devoted a year to myself. Congratulations me!

Thank you. Congrats to our new beginning!

[misstvb 248]

I had my year appointment a few days ago. It went well, my doctor remembered the chats we've had over the phone about my exhaustion which impressed me. I guess she could have been reading my charts but never the less it was nice to know that she was up to date. We reviewed my labs and they look good. Over the last couple months my energy levels have been up and getting to the gym is no longer the only thing I have energy for in a day.

The weight has started to come off again and for that I rejoice.

It's funny, when the doctor asked me if I was happy I had the surgery I started crying and said no. Since that conversation I've done much reflection and have since realized without the surgery I would still be diabetic and would probably be heavier than I was a year ago. There would be new medical problems coming my way. And I would always be that fat girl that people say would be pretty if she lost weight. Oh how I hated to hear that.

I'm going to catch up on my reading here on this thread I've been in my reflective state and I think coming out of a deep depression.

I hope when I read I find you all are well, happy and lighter.

I'm beginning year two with a bit of a different outlook then it's been for the last 6 months. I'm not scared of the future infact I'm looking forward to it. This is a new feeling and I hope it sticks.

[PinkPolkadot619 337]

I can't believe it's been a whole year!

[LisaCO 169]

This is my Doctor. Had my yearly visit yesterday. He is awesome!!!! Supposed to be back on Dr. OZ this month.

[Shadow427 272]

Wow! Happy surgiversary to most if you! You are all so awesome and such a big part of my life. I had my surgery in Nov (thanksgiving Monday). But I joined this group because of the true support, love, appreciation and positiveness that you all have.

[Shadow427 272]

It's funny, though. I see a little trend. We are happy. Pretty. Doing well. But all of a sudden, I'm seeing (and feeling) insecurity in our threads. All I can say is SNAP OUT OF IT. We are remarkable.

[Bronxmerci 312]

Im insecure everyday of my life and i fear getting fat again, i have anorexic tendencies, im hormonal, im high risk pregnancy, they want me to gain 35lbs with this baby. Its hard but ive been pushing myself to take my Vitamins and try to eat. Now picture morning sickness plus dumping, some days i am in bed all day because i ate.

[PinkPolkadot619 337]

@@Bronxmerci

Oh sweetheart I am so sorry. I have fear too, I know I just have to make good decisions and eat things that nourish me and not harm me. Some days the decisions are easy and others they are much harder.

I know I have already discussed my fear of weight gain when I am ready to start having babies with my friend and boyfriend. I know I am not ready to face that yet. Please continue to reach out to us. You can do this, you can be healthy and gain weight. food does not equal weight gain and weight gain does not equal fat. Pregnancy needs food for nutrients and needs weight gain for health. There is healthy weight gain :-) I know it scares me and I can't imagine how you feel but one day at a time girl.

[Shadow427 272]

@Bronx.... Listen to Pink. You are going to be an awesome mom! Baby needs nutrients - and so do you.

[Beni 1,484]

Congratulations on baby #2. You will have your hands full my friend but one day at a time is how it goes. Please take good care of yourself. You have come so far. You had the most complications in our group and you came out of every single one a better woman. The first trimester will be over and hopefully the nausea. Try to eat as much and as healthy as you can.

WOW what a surprise!

[Beni 1,484]

@@misstvb

There were hardships in my first year. I did get sick early on and I remember the days when one single bite would take me over the edge and I would get sick. I couldn't tell when I was full and I could only eat a 1/4 cup at a time. But now I can eat a normal meal. Small but pretty normal. I do have to work at keeping my meals healthy and eating slowly. I tend to eat in less then 10 minutes but I know I should slow it to 20 minutes. Lately I notice I am hungry more often and my NUT warned me this will happen and that's why its so crucial to eat like a bariatric patient. Sometimes I don't want to and I pay the price. However, I think it is a small price compared to how good I feel. My energy level is so much better and my outlook on life as well. We are all a work in progress, a masterpiece in the making. The work is not finished yet but I know all our battle wounds are part of our process. This is how we achieve greatness. It's our own way, the road we have chosen because the hand we were dealt pointed this way. We had the courage to take the leap in the middle of great fear. I was scarred out of my mind when I made the decision to have my insides rearranged. Any reasonable individual would find it barbaric. However, we knew our struggle was too deep and we could not dig ourselves out of the pit we were in alone. My surgery was my gladiator moment. Was it wrong to battle or not? Is not the question for me but the fact that I acted upon a problem I could not solve - my obesity. I did not lie down and die (wanted to, believe me), I battled and I will continue to do so. To make a long story short, for me this surgery is like standing on the edge of the high diving board and jumping. Should I have jumped or not does not matter. It is the fact that I did that merits acknowledgment. Perhaps next time you wonder, if you are happy about your surgery, pause for a moment, take a look at you standing at the edge of the high diving board and jumping. Only then, will you see the courageous woman that you are. I can see her from where I stand and I am amazed at her courage.

[Bronxmerci 312]

Thank you ladies! I started spotting today im on watch for misscarriage, can you guys believe that im still anemic my hemoglobin is 6 today. I dont even know exactly how far along i am and the doctor didnt find a heartbeat but he said my last period isnt matching up to my uterus size so its probably too early for a heartbeat. Idk this is weird