OCTOBER 2014

[Beni 1,484]

@@Bronxmerci

I'll start by saying you look amazing right now. I understand wanting a little more but don't beat yourself up. Please don't sacrifice your sanity and beauty for a line in the sand. I don't know how you will look that much smaller but i worry if your curves will be gone. Take it a day at a time. Only you will know when you look at yourself and go, I am good. Focus on health and muscle too. Some people look great super thin others do not. I would reassess every 5 pounds.

I was going for 150lbs but at 197lbs and size 16, I feel really good. I am not done but I think once I make it to size 12, I am going to take a serious look at myself. The only thing i truly want is to be at a size that any line of clothing will fit me. I want to be normal.

[Bronxmerci 312]

@@Beni thank you, you're right. I'm not worried about the curves because naked they are gone lol. I don't feel satisfied yet but I know its my mind that was usto being fat, I feel fat in the mirror. I'm at a 14 and a size 12 fit me in gap but very tight, I want to be a 10 or even 8, but I don't want to look sick. I sometimes feel like I'm done losing weight, I've been stalled for 3 weeks. Idk but I just want to lose all I can because I heard we will regain 20lbs after we are done losing weight. I don't want to be a failure. I was passing out a lot last week and started eating a bit more and drinking more fluids and now I feel better, but I feel guilty when I eat and don't get sick, I'm so scared of going back to how I was. I just want to be normal too. I started working out in my house to tone up and sofar its going good, I want to tighten my arms and whole body. This surgery is so hard, because the problem wasn't only being fat it was in my head too. I'm very hard on myself and everytime I look in the mirror or when I get on the scale I feel bad that I haven't lost anymore weight and I'll avoid eating and just drink Water for the rest of the day. Before I cut my sons father out of our lives for good he called me fat and I want to say eff you to him now but my pride won't even let him see me now that I'm not fat, forget him. I even feel bad that he inspired me to be greater, I should of did that for me and my son.

[Getting-used-to-new-me 119]

You're welcome Beni, but it wasn't original with me. I hope it helps everyone who goes through these trials!

[Luna222 246]

LUNA: I used to live in Newburgh and worked in Poughkeepsie/Hyde Park! New Paltz is a cool town!

And, I agree! I visited my mom over the weekend in CT. And, by the time I got there, my butt was sore! I am used to having the extra padding for comfort! LOL.

Speaking of mom, it is funny how she didn't even say ONE WORD regarding my weight loss. I haven't seen her since Christmas due to all of the snow. Since I saw her last, I have lost 35 pounds. It is funny, she will make nasty comments if I gain one ounce.... Instead, she was pushing donuts, chips, ice cream and other fattening items on me. Looking at her cabinets and refrigerator, I realized where I got all my bad habits from. Mind you, the woman is a 5ft 9in skinny bean pole. So, she just doesn't get it!

The one thing I have learned from this whole experience is that I should not look for reinforcement or support from her... it simply ain't coming. I am resolved.

Awesome! Yea I love the little town, just not crazy about all the college kids lol.

My mom was always like that too. She's not skinny skinny, but she's never been as big as I was. We really didn't have sweets a lot growing up, but it's the Pasta and bread, cheese and creamy Soups, stuff like that we always had. She would make comments about my weight, but make spaghetti for dinner. Still does lol. I live with her right now, and it's like every night that I'm actually home for dinner, it's Pasta or pizza or something of the sort. The days I'm not there, she'll cook steak, chicken breast, veggies, pulled pork...what the crap ma!? Lol

[Luna222 246]

Note to self----If you have some dental work done, be prepared with a smoothie or pudding or something you don't have to chew! Oh goodness, I just had a cleaning done is all, but WOW! I can't bite together at all without pain. So I was just trying to eat some "wet" taco meat, and I couldn't even chew that. Thus...I didn't chew well enough, so I'm nauseous.

Ahh, I so know what you mean! I didn't have dental work done, (yet..I really need to) but the last few weeks, off and on I've had a wicked toothache on one side, and a broken tooth on the other...so my chewing has been not so great on those days...and a few times I ran into that issue, didn't chew good enough so I was rolling over with nausea :-/

[Luna222 246]

Do you find that you can eat more food? I am worried I am stretching my pouch! But, I can eat more than I could a month ago. Mind you, I am not eating as much as I USED to eat. But, I kind of liked it when I was full after two bites.

Yes I feel that way too! It scares me. I went to a dinner tonight, I had a small salad and a roll, then maybe 45 min later, dinner came out...I wasn't able to eat the whole plate thank goodness, but I did eat more than I thought I'd be able to. I also find that I've been grazing more lately. Not good. I feel like I am falling off the wagon I don't eat like I used to, but sometimes I feel like I could if I wanted to. I don't like that at all!

[Luna222 246]

hey ladies and gents im 196 and i want to lose 46 more. what do you guys think?

You look amazing right now! As you've said, you are tall, so idk if 46 is too much? Just take it day by day, see how u feel about it after 10, and so on. You look so awesome tho

[Luna222 246]

I'm stuck I've been teetering between 203 and 201 for like 3 weeks now. It's so close to onederland! Ugh! I get so frustrated and I wonder if I'm done losing. Gosh I hope not! I do need to workout more often, maybe that's what it is? Traveling down to stay with my bf on the weekends puts a damper on it too. The closest location for my gym is 20 miles from him. And he won't go with me, and if I try to go he has a fit because he wants to spend time with me. I would love to be able to spend a couple of hrs there on Saturday and Sundays. Idk what to do! And now I'm craving jelly Beans and tacos! Whaaat is going on!???

[Glyndalin 80]

@@Luna222

I had the same problem right before and after that 200 mark. Psychologically, it's a strange place to be, especially if you've never sustained under 200 pounds asan adult. I'd been here twice and both time self-sabotaged at that point and gained 70-100 pounds back!

I'm not saying your issues is exactly the same, but it's something to consider. I've been working through a couple of books to help me with the issues. I even tried some online therapy, but that was a bust. The therapist focused in on "weight loss" and not the underlying issue of "why do I feel driven to eat when I'm not hungry", which is what I wanted help with.

Here are the books I've been going through, if anyone is interested:

Reclaiming Yourself from Binge Eating - Leoria Fulvio

(Have to adapt some of these suggestions, such as "not tracking", but the information and activities are otherwise helpful.)

Letting Go of Self-Destructive Behaviors - Lisa Ferentz

(A lot of really good therapeutic activities for dealing with the "why" problem.)

Hope, Help and Healing for Eating Disorders - Dr. Gregory Jantz

(From a clearly Christian perspective)

and

Self-Matters - Dr. Phil McGraw (I had read this before, but it's good material to review)

(Dr. Phil is a lot less "in your face" in writing than he is on his talk show; I find him more relevant on paper.)

I'm finding as I get within 2 pounds of being out of the "obesity" category for the first time EVER as an adult that I am having to deal with the psychological issues more deliberately. My surgeon didn't require any psychological supports. I'm blessed to have a colleague in the office who went through RNY 6 years ago and a lot of other highly supportive people in my life. But I don't have the time, money, or inclination to go to an office to talk to a therapist. This has been my "creative" alternative. I hope it helps someone else. (Note, my sister, with whom I live, has a master's in counseling, I've been using and abusing her skills, knowledge and abilities as well. If you don't have that kind of support around, I still think professional help is the best route.)

Peace,

Glenda

[Shadow427 272]

Glenda, thanks for the book recommendations. I've in need of a little self analysis!

[layknee 357]

This past week I was feeling wonderful, I have had slow weeks (.9 lbs) but I have aways lost and not gained, so this morning I am feeling devastated and defeated and like it just can't be true, my scale says I gained 5.3 pounds this weekend!! Friday was one of my best workout days ever!! How can this be?!?!?! I did have on my pajamas and I usually weigh naked....but my leggings and night shirt can't weigh 5 freaking pounds!! :-(

remember muscle weighs more than fat so check how many inches you have lost.

[LisaCO 169]

Been gone a little while its nice catching up on everyones posts. I have noticed when my husband is home (he works out of town) I snack more & eat more. I am now weighing 225 pounds. I was thankful this morning that I lost a pound after all the cooking & baking I did this last week but to my suprise the bites of my home made chocolate cake (husbands birthday) I ate did not make me sick. He leaves tomorrow so back to the plan

[Shadow427 272]

Broke my 2 week stall! Lost 5 lbs today! Wooohooo! 3 pounds to go for a 75 lb loss!

[PinkPolkadot619 337]

And an amazing loss!! You must be on cloud 9! Congrats

[smiley922 447]

100 POUNDS GONE FROM MY START OF DIET MARCH 21 2014. Can you see me doing the happy dance!