Your response to: "but you aren't 'THAT' big!"

[MisforMimi 760]

I'm blessed to have my weight equally distributed on my body. No place jumps at you out more than the other...It's a legit blob over here....

But at the end of the day I'm still 38, with hypertension, borderline high cholesterol, and borderline diabetic.

My mother has all full blown disease processes of all my borderlines, plus a pacemaker for afib.

My father has all the diseases except he's not obese, just unhealthy and and an amputee due to complications of his diabetes.

And people close to me know this (I recently told a close old friend)...The writing is on the wall...I'm on a one weigh ticket to destruction if I continue down this path (pun intended).

And the response I get from are :you ain't even big enough for the gastric bypass!!

My response in the moment and I've decided I'm keeping it: I've always dreamed of living to 100 and I won't get there like this. Not even close...

What do you guys say when people say you are not big enough or are undeserving of weight loss surgery in some other way?

[jstrong630 51]

I am having the same problem. It feels nice to hear my family and friends say that they think I am beautiful the way I am but at the end of the day I am not healthy the way that I am and at the end of the day I want to have a family and kids and spend the next 60+ years with my fiancé. I am also struggling with what to say to people but I guess I will let me surgery and new healthy lifestyle speak for itself as I am having my surgery this Tuesday the 14th.

[MisforMimi 760]

I just thought of another one I could use: My insurance company believes that my health status is a concern and a liability. I agree with them. They are willing to pay for surgical intervention. Again, I agree with them as other methods have proven unsuccessful....ha! That one might be for co-workers, tho.....if/when it comes up...

[Sleeve_Sistah85 193]

I'm blessed to have my weight equally distributed on my body. No place jumps at you out more than the other...It's a legit blob over here....

But at the end of the day I'm still 38, with hypertension, borderline high cholesterol, and borderline diabetic.

My mother has all full blown disease processes of all my borderlines, plus a pacemaker for afib.

My father has all the diseases except he's not obese, just unhealthy and and an amputee due to complications of his diabetes.

And people close to me know this (I recently told a close old friend)...The writing is on the wall...I'm on a one weigh ticket to destruction if I continue down this path (pun intended).

And the response I get from are :you ain't even big enough for the gastric bypass!!

My response in the moment and I've decided I'm keeping it: I've always dreamed of living to 100 and I won't get there like this. Not even close...

What do you guys say when people say you are not big enough or are undeserving of weight loss surgery in some other way?

I'm in the same boat. I am 250lbs but according to most, I don't look it. I hypothetically mentioned to a good friend that if I ever got as big as my mom I would get weightloss surgery...and she flipped out. Saying "you're not that big." Although I'm flattered she thinks I'm beautiful it annoyed me to my core that she wouldn't respect my decision.

Fast forward to October when I finally made the decision I only told my older sister...who coincidentally also wants the VSG.

As of right now, I've decided to keep it a secret until after the surgery and there are positive results with no complications. As of right now surgery is April 2015...so I will "come out" about my surgery October 2015.

[MisforMimi 760]

I'm not telling work for sure and I'm only telling the friends that I know typically have a deep direct spiritual connect that I want to know and that I want prayers and energy from sent while I'm on the table!!

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

I've told only my hubby and two friends who I knew would be supportive.

I don't ever have to have these conversations. Or conversations that are even more annoying. Ever.

[Miss Mac 6,262]

Surprisingly, I got that comment from the technician who did my pre-op ekg at the hospital. I told her "That's interesting. Maybe you should call the director of the bariatric clinic (same doctor who was my surgeon and who teaches bariatric and robotic surgery at the same hospital) and tell him you disagree with his diagnosis." That shut her up!

[Miss Mac 6,262]

Oh, I forgot this: When I got a Press Gainey survey from the hopsital, I mentioned her comment and her name. Hopefully she will learn to not second-guess a doctor's diagnosis and quit commenting on a patient's reason for taking certain tests. Geeze Louize.

[Sleeve_Sistah85 193]

Surprisingly, I got that comment from the technician who did my pre-op ekg at the hospital. I told her "That's interesting. Maybe you should call the director of the bariatric clinic (same doctor who was my surgeon and who teaches bariatric and robotic surgery at the same hospital) and tell him you disagree with his diagnosis." That shut her up!

Good for you! She's a EKG Tech...not a doctor...damn at least my friend is a nurse practitioner. That tech had no right to give an opinion she wasn't asked.

[Babbs 14,681]

Surprisingly, I got that comment from the technician who did my pre-op ekg at the hospital. I told her "That's interesting. Maybe you should call the director of the bariatric clinic (same doctor who was my surgeon and who teaches bariatric and robotic surgery at the same hospital) and tell him you disagree with his diagnosis." That shut her up!

Your stats are very similar to mine, and I got that comment A LOT from of all people, so called health care professionals. I mean really?? Are they oblivious to the dangers of being overweight? It always floored me!

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

You guys have reminded me that when I had gallbladder surgery 4 weeks post-VSG-op, the attending anesthetist said the same thing when he was hooking me up to the surgical drugs. "Gee, I didn't know they did weight loss surgery on people your size." I said, "Well, I was fatter when I started this process."

People just blather, and stupid stuff comes out of their mouths.

[finediva 979]

@@Miss Mac. OMG! I went to my surgeon's office to drop off some of my test results that her office assistant stated had not been received. When she saw me she loudly exclaimed " omg, why are you doing this, you are not even big." I smiled politely and told her I wanted to look more like her......she is about my height and about 100pound less than I am. She had no response. As for dealing with comments from others, don't have that issue as I told zero people. I refuse to have idiotic conversations about my journey. All my energy needs to be used to focus and get me through this not very easy process. People are beginning to notice my loss and ask if I'm losing weight. I say yes and keep it moving.

[blackonynx 27]

I once mentioned RNY at work. I am 5' 2" and weighed 247 at the time. My boss said "You're not big enough for that and they will never do it on you. I listened to everyone saying that and was afraid of RNY really, So I chose the band. I lost 45 lbs in 5 years before removing it due to complications. I should have stuck with my first thought of RNY b/c I now at 220 lbs, I still have the same medical problems and according to my Dr., I still need to have the surgery to combat HBP and diabetes.

[Corridor72 518]

I got a lot of comments like that pre-op too. My response was always "You don't understand. I am well over 100 lbs overweight, according to my doctor, and my weight is adversely affecting my health. I'm not doing it to be skinny. I'm doing it to get healthy. End of discussion."

Now, when people ask how much weight I've lost and I tell them that I've lost 135 lbs, they always say "OMG! I would've never thought you had that much weight to lose!" Obviously I DID have that much to lose.....

[Forsythia 882]

I think when people say this, they are saying it because we (as in Americans) have all gotten so fat that fat is the new normal and you look "okay". And I thought I was okay for a long time. I never lacked dates. I had a social life. I got married. I mean, a person who has friends and a life can't be fat enough to need surgery. Only "those people" who are 400 lbs or bedridden are big enough for surgery. But the fact is I let myself creep up over 300 lbs. I had diabetes and high blood pressure. And I didn't like how I looked or felt. All my size 24 pants were too tight. Your reasons are your reasons and you do not need to justify them to anyone. When you have a BMI of over 40 you are big enough to need surgery. When you have tried and tried and can't lose the weight or keep it off, you need surgery. When you fall off the ledge and become diabetic or have PCOS and can't get pregnant, or are on all the medications for your various ailments and maladies, you need the surgery.