Your response to: "but you aren't 'THAT' big!"

[swimbikerun 1,043]

Wow ... another reason not to tell people things. Maybe the brother could have made up his mind and just left you congrats or not called at all?

[Sleeve_Sistah85 193]

I am one day post op and withheld information from almost everyone, but my mother felt the need to let some people know. My brother calls me today, saying the most ignorant comments on earth. First he's congratulating me but with a slap, saying I didn't need it but he's all for it, then saying that even if I lose weight I'm still going to weigh a lot because I'm tall, then saying that I could have lost it if I had worked out, mind you I don't speak to him on a regular basis and he doesn't know that I've had chronic back pain for a year. Then he keeps going back and forth congratulating me and throwing hints that he feels I didn't need it, I finally say " listen bro its done, and that's why I didn't tell you to begin with. I did this for me, not anyone else, so I didn't need permission to get it from anyone but my doctor" he then says he's happy for me again and we hang up.

I am sorry your brother was so insensitive. Good for you for putting your foot down and shutting him up! I love my mom dearly, and I think she will be supportive, but she has a big mouth and will also tell the wrong person. Congratulations on your successful surgery...I wish you all the best!

[finediva 979]

Every time I read these idiotic comments that family and friends make, it makes me even more certain that I did the absolutely right thing by telling ZERO people about my surgery. I'm three months out this Friday and thank the good Lord I've only had to deal with the thoughts in my head, while I struggle to drink Water,get enough Protein, poop every few days, wonder why I'm eating so little calories and my scale has not moved in three weeks, and deal with a moody teenager. I just don't have time for nonsense. Just don't have time.

[Ivanova8 77]

@@Bronxmerci Gez Louise, he didn't didn't know whether he was coming or going. You certainly made the right call in trying to keep it to yourself. That's certainly my intention unless someone let's the cat out of the bag. I can't imagine what he'll say when he see's you next looking all fine and skinny.

Congrats on being now 2 days post-op. You're on your way!

[Algae 67]

Amen! Preach on people!

I was a dork and put a status update on FB about considering WLS and someone messaged me privately wanting to know why I would want to do something so risky and why would I even consider putting my family and myself through something so hard when I wasn't even that big.

This is someone who knows I have an unhealthy relationship with food, knows I have poor self-esteem and have battled with being good enough for a while. This is a friend who has seen me go through a spiritual based 12 step program through the last 3 years, who knows I have heavily invested in therapy, nutritionists, personal trainers. And this is someone who knows more than anything that I have prayed, read my bible, sought God, etc. She thought my obesity was negligible and didn't impact my life somehow.

No one has ever questioned the tons of fad diets I've been on, or the "miracle" supplements and weight loss drugs I've invested in over the years. Not yet has anyone indicated that I was selfish or acting risky for having a gym membership, attending therapy, or asking for prayers while I tried to lose weight.

And so I wanted to know, why, when I choose a bigger tool, does it concern you? This isn't an overnight, fantastical get-slim-quick-scheme. It's a hard as nails, tougher than leather path towards a tool that may help me control not only my weight but weight related health problems for the rest of my life.

That one communication has made me gun-shy of sharing my journey with others and the main reason I found this website.

[Bronxmerci 312]

Thanks guys, I let my mom have it too after, she doesn't respect others business.

[Jersrose43 837]

Amen! Preach on people!

I was a dork and put a status update on FB about considering WLS and someone messaged me privately wanting to know why I would want to do something so risky and why would I even consider putting my family and myself through something so hard when I wasn't even that big.

This is someone who knows I have an unhealthy relationship with food, knows I have poor self-esteem and have battled with being good enough for a while. This is a friend who has seen me go through a spiritual based 12 step program through the last 3 years, who knows I have heavily invested in therapy, nutritionists, personal trainers. And this is someone who knows more than anything that I have prayed, read my bible, sought God, etc. She thought my obesity was negligible and didn't impact my life somehow.

No one has ever questioned the tons of fad diets I've been on, or the "miracle" supplements and weight loss drugs I've invested in over the years. Not yet has anyone indicated that I was selfish or acting risky for having a gym membership, attending therapy, or asking for prayers while I tried to lose weight.

And so I wanted to know, why, when I choose a bigger tool, does it concern you? This isn't an overnight, fantastical get-slim-quick-scheme. It's a hard as nails, tougher than leather path towards a tool that may help me control not only my weight but weight related health problems for the rest of my life.

That one communication has made me gun-shy of sharing my journey with others and the main reason I found this website.

You don't need "friends" like this

Misery loves company

[Jersrose43 837]

I OWN THIS DECISION!

I don't say my doc this my insurance that.

I made this decision. It was the right one for me. I don't look that big? You're right I look awesome when not stepping on the scale. Thanks to Lane Bryant and Calvin Klein and jones Ny for making great clothes that help me look not that big

But guess what? I am and I am suffering for it

I own this decision

It's the right one for me

I made this decision

I appreciate your continued support

Negative opinions are not required. Keep them to yourself or get out of my life. One person has left and she lost 80 pounds still at 310. Misery loves company

I posted this on my Facebook the night of my sleeve when I woke up

 

[MisforMimi 760]

@@Algae

Sounds like your "friend" needs that other spiritual 12-step program called Al-Anon!! I hope told her to mind her business! Dang. That's rough.

[MisforMimi 760]

@@Jersrose43

Wow, how brave!! I curious to know what were your responses like? You have some good points. I think we all own the decision to some degree or we wouldn't be here. Even if some choose to use the medical and scientific community to support our decisions, which I'm sure you did as well, with all the research required to get here....I guess I don't care to hear ppls opinions....I already know that most people think this is taking the easy way out and loosing it on your own is best yadda yadda yadda and some ppl stuggle to keep their opinions to themselves. I have some relationships that I value for other intrinsic reasons besides what their views are on weight loss surgery....

[Kandis SupaStar Hill 39]

@@bikrchk You know what? Now that you've mentioned it, they (people who say you're not that big..) really do think they're complimenting you. It's basically an insulting compliment, it's like telling a chef "your food is edible..." I mean a crayon is edible if you think about it, well based on the fact that my dog eats them, LOL.

[Kandis SupaStar Hill 39]

@@MisforMimi Exactly, as if that was the sole answer to weight loss, LOL!

[Kandis SupaStar Hill 39]

Thanks guys, I let my mom have it too after, she doesn't respect others business.

Sounds like my mother, she told everyone at the 4th of July BBQ, thank goodness I wasn't there. When I asked her how it came up, she nonchalantly said she "simply announced it," she better be lucky I lover her, and you only get one mom, LOL!

[MarieMarie 346]

Most people don't understand our silent battle with obesity. I will never forget some things people said to me or the way they looked around me when talking to me.

[jacileggs 402]

I also decided to post my journey on Facebook. My family and friends had nothing negative to say about it. They were all very supportive. Even my gym owner and staff, which kind of surprised me. I had one friend that was concerned about the safety of it. She was still supportive even though she worried about me. So other than the rude intake nurse at the hospital almost everyone was positive. I recently ran into the gym owner and he was shocked at how little I was. These victories by far make up for the few rude people I have encountered.