Freaking Out Right Now

[mnmlst 249]

My surgery was supposed to be today and I chickened out at the very last minute. I was really scared and just didn't feel good about it.

I'm worried I made a mistake, but I just don't know. I don't know how to feel right now and I am freaking out. I wonder if anyone else chickened out?

Please help me feel better. I feel so very weird about this.

I was thinking of the cutting and the pain and never being able to reverse it and not being able to eat much again, ever. I was worried about never enjoying food again. I was worried about post-op pain. I was scared of surgery. Just, everything.

But as soon as I left the hospital I felt I'd made the wrong decision.

I just don't know. I am freaking out. If I'd stayed, my surgery would be over by now.

[mnmlst 249]

When it came down to it, I just had this overwhelming feeling of wanting to keep my stomach. But when I left I had an overwhelming feeling of having made the wrong decision.

I'm going to try do lose weight the regular way, but it feels futile to even try. Will I just have to be fat forever and learn to be ok with it?

[willow13 59]

I think everyone gets nervous before their surgery. I knew that surgery was the right thing for me but it didn't stop me having those thoughts too. I did suffer pain afterwards, I did go through an emotional rollercoaster with emotions BUT the operation was definitely worth it. I am 7 months out from surgery, I have lost a fair bit of weight and I do enjoy food just on a smaller scale than before. I can eat everything except really spicy foods which for me is a pain as I was the spicy food queen lol but it was worth it for the weight I lost. I had tried diets but none worked long term and I just kept gaining.
Good luck to you if you do decide it is not for you.

[Beni 1,484]

I think leaving was the right thing to do for you. You have to be ready for this and you were not ready. The best analogy I can think of is deciding not to get married the day of the wedding. You were not ready to get married. Maybe you will later maybe you will not but you should not go ahead with this kind of doubt. Take a break and revisit the issue after a period of time. Get counseling to work through your feelings independently of your decision. Your feelings are real and they need attention.

[JamieLogical 8,699]

I'm so sad for you! I don't know if you will ultimately regret your decision or not. It's hard to know where the future will take you. But I think if you HAD gone through with the surgery, you wouldn't have regretted it. The pain is so minor and temporary in the grand scheme of things and the risks associated with VSG are super low. As for missing food, one of the beautiful things about VSG is that you can still eat the foods you love eventually, just not in the quantities you used to. Since there is no dumping syndrome, like with bypass, and no risk of certain food getting stuck, like with lap-band, you really can eat just about anything. Of course, if you continue eating junk food, you still won't lose the weight, but that's the case whether you have VSG or try to lose the weight on your own (like you now intend to).

[Delta Dawn 66]

The only way I could get to this point was to concentrate on the end result. One of my habits is to over analyze everything. Over analyzing this procedure will scare you to death or at least it does me. So I decided to focus on the end result and the rewards of the hard work that I have to do. After focusing on and visualizing the end result I realized the rewards far out weigh the fears for me.....as I've said before we are all entitled to choose what is right for us as individuals and no one here will ever think less of someone because of their decision not to have this procedure. Best wishes sweetheart.....you will make the decision that is best for you. Don't be hard on yourself.

Edited October 10, 2014 by Delta Dawn

[mentalistfan 189]

You are not alone, I know someone who had her surgery earlier in the day because the person scheduled before her left the hospital! You did what you thought was right at the time, that's all you can do, learn to love yourself, God Bless You!!!

[shellyd88 463]

Hi I'm sorry u decided to leave but if u didn't feel right about it maybe u need some more time to adjust to the idea do u feel you've done enough research ?are u comfortable with the surgeon ? U must be absolutely sure it the right time and the right choice for u take a breath and perhaps consider talking to a professional counselor maybe u can work thru what is causing the fear and doubt maybe that can help whatever u decide best of luck and I hope u feel better

[BitterSweet* 835]

You made the right choice, and if later on you feel ready to make another one, you are entitled to do so. I think you are the hero in your own life. Intuition is everything, never ignore it. You didn't and that's why your choice today was the right one to make. Bravo.

[puttingme1st 143]

I am really sad for you but I think you have probably been talking yourself out of it for awhile. It's not like you went in to the doctor one day, and surgery was scheduled for the next. This process took months of preparation. Obviously regular diets don't work for you, or you would have never looked into surgery. I fear this is going to be a decision you will regret later on. I would suggest if you consider it again, meet with a psychologist several times, to talk about your fears. I wish you all the best.

[jjinWA 511]

The whole process can be overwhelming. I remember lying on the gurney waiting to be wheeled into the surgery room. I was shaking and in tears. I was scared to death! My husband and daughters were in the waiting room and I was in fear that I would never see them again. But I had researched this surgery and had all my questions answered before I made the decision to move forward. I knew the risks, but more importantly I knew a new life was ahead of me. I just had to put my faith in the God that I believed in. And I was sick sick sick of being overweight and unhealthy. No matter how each of us deals with this decision no one can fault you for changing your mind at the last minute. It is your body and ultimately you must make that final decision. And remember this decision does not have to be made forever. You can come back to this journey if and when you are ready to move forward. Until then I wish you the best. Just be sure to love yourself. You are worth it!