Dining out with coworkers?

[Bryan Graeve 50]

I'm almost two months RNY post-op. I travel for work every week, and almost every weekday I'm hanging out with my coworkers. I have chose not to tell my coworkers about my surgery, but they've all noticed the 52 lbs I've lost recently.

Well, it's been difficult to go out with my coworkers to restaurants. When we go to something like Chilis, they'll glance curiously at me while I take 1/2 hour to eat about 20% of my plate and leave the rest of it to go. The server doesn't help either, often she returns to the table at the end of the meal and will look nervously at my plate and ask "Was there something wrong with your food?!?"? My rehearsed reply to that is "It was great. I was not hungry".

What has been everyone's experience with this? How do you handle dining out with people whom you chose not to disclose your recent WLS journey to?

[Ginger Snaps 1,323]

I go out to eat a lot, too. I usually try to find a Protein heavy (not fried) appetizer to order instead of a meal. If my crowd notices or says something, I just say it's all I want. I try not to use the "I'm not hungry" because if you're eating out with them frequently, they'll wonder why you're never hungry. Since they know you're losing weight, you could say something like "It's part of my new healthy eating plan".

I've told a lot of my coworkers now post-surgery because it's just easier than tap-dancing around the questions. They have all been very supportive and don't require any explanations now.

I find it perfectly natural to box up my leftovers (even from appetizer portions) and if the waiter asks if I enjoyed it or if something was wrong I just say "It was wonderful and will make a great Breakfast tomorrow". The weirder part for me is when they ask what I'll drink. I always just say Water and then don't drink it. Easier than trying to talk them out of bringing Water.< /p>

[Bryan Graeve 50]

Thanks gingersnap... "it's all I want" response is some good advice. I've overused the "I'm not hungry" excuse, that hasn't been working for me. I can relate to the Water.

I am just not ready to tell coworkers and clients about my WLS. As a consultant, my workplace is competitive and image is essential to influencing my peers and to my success. Losing all this weight, and the self-confidence that comes with it, is certainly boosting my career. I'm just not certain what their reaction would be if they found out "how" I was losing, so I'm trying to avoid any potential critics I guess.

[Ginger Snaps 1,323]

It's completely your decision about telling people about the surgery. I understand.

In my case, I'm the boss (ha!) and so I don't get too much flak about the surgery! lol... I only told 2 coworkers before because they are close friends and they are the ones with the good candy bowls on their desks and when they knew I was stressed, they would leave candy on my desk for me. Kind of important to tell them to cut that out!

Isn't it amazing how the surgery not only helps you lose weight but gain confidence! I feel like a new person. I know they say the surgery is on your stomach not your brain, but I think my surgeon flipped some switch in my brain, too. I feel so much more confident, happier, energetic and yes, even sexier! As a divorced woman, it's kind of fun when the ex sees me after a while and drops his jaw before saying "you look great!" His loss!

[Bryan Graeve 50]

Hey boss! You're absolutely right. In the past, I think my weight became a derailment to my career. Being unhappy and unhealthy I think made it difficult to show my managers that I could become a leader in their company. Definitely wasn't wooing any ladies like that!

But all this is and shall continue to improve. I'm very excited. I shall conquer!

[winning_by_losing 107]

I can't comment on how to avoid the questions, as I tend to tell anyone who will listen.

However - if I were in that situation I think I'd try to opt for things like chili. I know for sure that the chili from Chili's is really good and quite meaty. Then you can eat almost the full "meal" and avoid any questions you may not want to answer.

[Bryan Graeve 50]

That's a great point. I should start ordering things from the beginning of the menu such as lighter plates, appetizers, and Soups. Less wasteful too.

[AmyC65 34]

I have only gone to one restaurant 7 weeks post-op, but I just want you to know that if you've lost 52 lbs since August, your co-workers PROBABLY know you had surgery. It is almost impossible to lose that weight non-surgically in that amount of time. I find myself telling more people now than I thought I would. You tell who you want, I'm just guessing that they've probably suspected already.

[mg22fpb 6]

They have probably noticed something different, but have no idea how much weight you have lost. No one has asked me or mentioned that I look thinner or better and I am down 44lbs in less than 2 months and it is noticable! My kids can't find me in public places because I look different. Anyway, I have said that I am dieting and working with a dietician to get anyone off my back. I have eaten a piece of pizza (small) or something and comment OK in moderation. I order Soup alot! That is easy to eat a larger quantity of and also goes with the dieting. Leftovers are a problem in restaurants, I agree! So think about ordering soup next time and see how that goes. You can always say, I had something earlier and not hunger also.

[gwunderle 25]

Brian: my insurance has approved my surgery and I should have it in the next six weeks or so. I too travel a lot for work- can you tell me how and when you got back to the traveling? How about flying?

Thanks!

Greg

[Bryan Graeve 50]

Brian: my insurance has approved my surgery and I should have it in the next six weeks or so. I too travel a lot for work- can you tell me how and when you got back to the traveling? How about flying?

Thanks!

Greg

Hey Greg. My doctor cleared me for travel three weeks after surgery, enough time in case post-op complications would arise.. which they didn't. So starting week 3 for the past 5 weeks, I've flown with no problems. In fact, I'm sitting just fine in those small airline seats without a belt extension now which is a great victory in itself. Good luck with your surgery!

[Bryan Graeve 50]

I have only gone to one restaurant 7 weeks post-op, but I just want you to know that if you've lost 52 lbs since August, your co-workers PROBABLY know you had surgery. It is almost impossible to lose that weight non-surgically in that amount of time. I find myself telling more people now than I thought I would. You tell who you want, I'm just guessing that they've probably suspected already.

Amy, that's a good point. Some of my coworkers may suspect I've had WLS and aren't saying anything out of respect. Noone has asked me yet! I bet not all of them know it.

[gahannagal 31]

Hi I check the menu before I go if I have time. I went to Rusty Bucket here in Ohio, called ahead of time . They were willing to cook anything on the menu the way I needed it! Kudo's to Rusty Bucket. I was at 3 weeks out and went to Bob Evans to meet with a friend. They had chicken noodle. I explained I wanted the broth only. They also took care of my need. Anyway I wanted it. I think we are afraid to ask but they are willing to do what we need! I had someone tell me Portion Control is how they explained it. We we know about portion control! Just another suggestion. Good luck with your journey!

[Cupcake 801]

I agree with the above statements order the appetizers I am almost 5 months out and I wasted a lot if food now I just box it up and take it home to hubby.

[Jonathan Blue 311]

I love making a psychological game out of it. My server would come at the end of the meal and their reactions, to me, would judge the type of person they are. Some were real people pleasers. These are the ones that were always asking what was wrong and how they could correct it. I have even had managers be sent to me by the server to make sure I was alright. I always tried hard not to laugh. Next are the ones who are comfortable in their service. They just bring me the box and move on. They do not ask if everything was alright. These are the overconfident narcissist. The final one is the one who is comfortable with themselves in a neutral sense. They are the ones who will ask if everything was alright and when I say that it was, they just bring me the box.

Try it some time when you are at a restaurant. Another thing to try, if you are not the most honest, would be to complain and get the meal for free. I do not recommend this.

Have fun playing this little game and seeing the looks on your servers face when your whole meal looks almost untouched.

Jonathan

@Fat2FitBlue

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