Need to get back on my path

[natalie_christin 61]

I had to sleeve done just over a year ago now and I have lost an incredible amount of weight – I can't complain. At my worst I was at 335 lbs and now I'm at 235 lbs. I stopped losing weight at about 9 to 10 months. To be honest, I haven't exercised at all. I am disabled and I have multiple pain conditions where it prevents me from exercising. I'm trying to get my medication straight so hopefully I feel a bit better and am able to at least do something. Other than doing basic things around the house when need be, I'm pretty much in bed80 to 90% of the time. I also don't eat like I should. I'm pretty good about not eating too many carbs. I probably do have more than I should at times but for the most part I'm rather proud of myself in that regard.

I honestly haven't done the Protein shakes sense postop and I don't eat nearly as much as I should. Typically I'm just not hungry. When I am hungry, it's difficult to make sureI have food on hand that is accessible and meets my needs when it comes to high-protein low-carb – my father lives with me and he's very much a meat and potatoes type of guy and so when I cook meals, and cooking two separate meals which takesseveral hours and it's hard for me to do that. I'm one of those people that cut everything up and prep everything from garlic to herbs and things of that nature. I'm not a shortcut person I guess you could say. So, I'm only able to do that a few days out of the week. Then with chicken, I can't think of things to do with it that are easy and accessible.chicken is pretty much what all eat 90% of the time – chicken and vegetables of some sort. I tried looking up recipes and things to change it up a bit but I still need food that's easy and accessible, especially when I don't cook.

It's really hard to find a balance between being in pain all the time and being able to stand and cook and then try to accomplish things around the house when I can. I also just got through with a divorce – that wasn't fun at all. I'm 32 years old and now with my physical situation and not being able to work, it makes me wonder if I'll ever have the opportunity to meet someone again, get married, have children, etc. i'm not sure what to do there either. I've always wanted children and my doctors have told me that the work with me when it comes to my health to enable me to have children. I'm hoping that I'm able to –and I do fear that I'll be alone for the rest of my life. LOL – I realize this is in the therapy session but it's part of what I'm going through right now and I realize that it can impact my overall weight loss situation.

My goal weight has always been 180 – I realize that that is high but at 180 I was in a size 10/ 12. I was content there and I have no urge to be "skinny mini" and even though I know that it 180, I'm still considered obese I'm sure… I just want to be healthy – as healthy as possible. I would greatly appreciate any suggestions/ideas or whatever information anyone is willing to provide – I just want to find my groove and get into things that I can and try to lose at least a little more weight. If I can't make my goal weight, it is what it is but I would still like to lose at least 35 more pounds. I would greatly appreciate any suggestions on easy and accessible Protein foods/recipes. I'm also hoping to get more active – well as active as I can obviously… I'm hoping that my rheumatoid/psoriatic arthritis meds get squared away in conjunction with mypain medication so that I can at least be more active and not have to be curled up in bed because I'm in pain all the time. I would love some simple inside of a life. I don't know if anyone has any suggestions for getting backin the dating world… Don't get me wrong I realize I have to take one day at a time and do one thing at a time but dating is not something that comes easily to me – and that's not counting my physical situation. I only dated a handful amount of times and I have primarily been in two long-term relationships. So dating is quite foreign to me. I don't have any grandiose expectations but I just overall would like the opportunity to be healthy and happy.

Thanks so very much for taking the time to read this and I appreciate any input.

Have a good day

Natalie

[swimbikerun 1,046]

Hi Natalie,

Here is my take on what you said: you are going thru a divorce, so try focusing on yourself at this point. You have other worries you mentioned but right now your health and all that is going on, that could probably be best to take that attention there first.

{{hugs}}

[jessiquoi 623]

@@natalie_christin, i am so sorry you are in pain. That makes everything you try to do harder, doesn't it?

I don't have any magic bullets for you, but here is my suggestion: pick ONE BEHAVIOR that you can change now that will put you back on your path. Maybe it will be tracking your food intake on something like My Fitness Pal, or maybe drinking more Water, or maybe getting a pedometer and counting the steps you take around the house and gradually adding like 10 or 50 more each day. Any of these things will make a difference. Maybe there's something else you can think of.

And, congratulations on coming back to the forums and looking for help. Keep on reading and interacting, and you will get back on the ball as you realize we're all going through things... maybe not exactly the same combination of stressors that you have, but we all have things. It helps to know you're not alone, and it helps to hear other people's thoughts.

[woo woo 872]

If you don't have one already, I suggest getting a crockpot. There are tons of recipes online, or there are also some wonderful crockpot/slow cooker cookbooks. You can make some wonderfully tasty, healthy and high Protein meals with it with just a bit of prep time in the morning.

If your dad likes his starches he/you can always add a potato for him (it's very easy to bake a potato in the microwave) or rice etc to whatever main dish you prepare. That way you can both enjoy what you cook.

[Roo101769 742]

Natalie,

Let me start by saying congratulations on losing 100lbs! That is seriously an accomplishment. As I read your story I noticed how similar part of our stories are. I was sleeved just about a year ago. ( 10/21/13) I lost weight pretty steadily until this past June. Since then I have fluctuated in a 5lb zone, really only dropping maybe 3-4lbs total. I did not exercise early out either. I had some things that made it hard to exercise at a higher weight. ( BAD knees, vascular damage in my right leg) I started going to the YMCA gym back in August. It was very hard and painful at first, but with time has become "easier". ( not as much pain from my bad issues, just the usual sore muscles) I am by no means a gym rat but I am doing what I can. Every little bit counts. I have not started losing yet because I struggle with my eating. I have a 5 year old daughter ( almost 6) and now my 24yr old niece living at home. Buying food and preparing things that we will ALL eat is a HUGE challenge. ( not to mention my gym time is after I work all day, so I really have no time to cook ) I could prepare and freeze things on the weekend, but that is time I spend with my daughter. It is hard, no doubt. I eat chicken a lot myself. I also eat a lot of turkey. I will make spaghetti with ground turkey, high Fiber spaghetti noodles and "light" sauce. This is something everyone is happy with ( I flavor mine with lots of garlic and spices) and pretty easy to make. I also like turkey burgers. ( plain, no bun and fat free cheese) I know there are recipes out there I could find, it is just about managing my time to do it all.

I echo an above poster who said to pick one thing. I realize you are in a hard space emotionally due to the recent divorce and health issues. Try to remember what it was that motivated you to have the surgery. Hold on to that because it was a time you cared enough to put yourself first. Find little ways to add to your day. I have no doubt you will struggle and possibly not wish to do it. But the feeling of accomplishment after you do will more than make up for the discomfort. Just push, even a little. As I said, every little bit counts. Look for exercises for people who are disabled. These will help your muscles and you will actually burn some calories. And hopefully taking these small steps will help you obtain some of your physical and emotional goals. I wish you well and the best of luck!

[ausmith 374]

I had to sleeve done just over a year ago now and I have lost an incredible amount of weight – I can't complain. At my worst I was at 335 lbs and now I'm at 235 lbs. I stopped losing weight at about 9 to 10 months. To be honest, I haven't exercised at all. I am disabled and I have multiple pain conditions where it prevents me from exercising. I'm trying to get my medication straight so hopefully I feel a bit better and am able to at least do something. Other than doing basic things around the house when need be, I'm pretty much in bed80 to 90% of the time. I also don't eat like I should. I'm pretty good about not eating too many carbs. I probably do have more than I should at times but for the most part I'm rather proud of myself in that regard.

I honestly haven't done the Protein shakes sense postop and I don't eat nearly as much as I should. Typically I'm just not hungry. When I am hungry, it's difficult to make sureI have food on hand that is accessible and meets my needs when it comes to high-protein low-carb – my father lives with me and he's very much a meat and potatoes type of guy and so when I cook meals, and cooking two separate meals which takesseveral hours and it's hard for me to do that. I'm one of those people that cut everything up and prep everything from garlic to herbs and things of that nature. I'm not a shortcut person I guess you could say. So, I'm only able to do that a few days out of the week. Then with chicken, I can't think of things to do with it that are easy and accessible.chicken is pretty much what all eat 90% of the time – chicken and vegetables of some sort. I tried looking up recipes and things to change it up a bit but I still need food that's easy and accessible, especially when I don't cook.

It's really hard to find a balance between being in pain all the time and being able to stand and cook and then try to accomplish things around the house when I can. I also just got through with a divorce – that wasn't fun at all. I'm 32 years old and now with my physical situation and not being able to work, it makes me wonder if I'll ever have the opportunity to meet someone again, get married, have children, etc. i'm not sure what to do there either. I've always wanted children and my doctors have told me that the work with me when it comes to my health to enable me to have children. I'm hoping that I'm able to –and I do fear that I'll be alone for the rest of my life. LOL – I realize this is in the therapy session but it's part of what I'm going through right now and I realize that it can impact my overall weight loss situation.

My goal weight has always been 180 – I realize that that is high but at 180 I was in a size 10/ 12. I was content there and I have no urge to be "skinny mini" and even though I know that it 180, I'm still considered obese I'm sure… I just want to be healthy – as healthy as possible. I would greatly appreciate any suggestions/ideas or whatever information anyone is willing to provide – I just want to find my groove and get into things that I can and try to lose at least a little more weight. If I can't make my goal weight, it is what it is but I would still like to lose at least 35 more pounds. I would greatly appreciate any suggestions on easy and accessible Protein foods/recipes. I'm also hoping to get more active – well as active as I can obviously… I'm hoping that my rheumatoid/psoriatic arthritis meds get squared away in conjunction with mypain medication so that I can at least be more active and not have to be curled up in bed because I'm in pain all the time. I would love some simple inside of a life. I don't know if anyone has any suggestions for getting backin the dating world… Don't get me wrong I realize I have to take one day at a time and do one thing at a time but dating is not something that comes easily to me – and that's not counting my physical situation. I only dated a handful amount of times and I have primarily been in two long-term relationships. So dating is quite foreign to me. I don't have any grandiose expectations but I just overall would like the opportunity to be healthy and happy.

Thanks so very much for taking the time to read this and I appreciate any input.

Have a good day

Natalie

Wow you have definitely been through a personal war and sound like now you are ready to fight back. Good for you, you may not realize it but you are inspirational in your own way just for reaching out and asking for help.

I will be 12 months in a couple of weeks and have lost 102.3. I have really struggled the last 2 months with my weight going up and down by about 2 pounds. It's very frustrating but I know it's all mind games and I need to keep at it if I want to loose my last 28.6. Until recently my plan was to get to 132 but after an annual medical with the local GP he said that for my height the ideal weight is 121 which I think is toooo light but I'm going to go for it and see how I feel and if it is to low I'll get back to 132.

So enough about me, a couple of suggestions I have for you are the following.

Buy a 2 liter jug and fill it with whatever liquid you find the easiest to drink (water) every morning then set your phone alarm for every 2 hrs the alarm will signal time to fill your glass again. This way you will be sure to get all of your liquids in for the day. If you drink tea or coffee they should be over and above the liquid you have in the jug. So important to get the correct amount of Fluid in.

Next is the protein some things in do at the beginning of the week are I buy a couple of BBQ chickens from the local supermarket then I remove the skin and break away all the meat. Then I wrap 100 grams each of chicken in paper towel and put them in individual plastic bags. I then put each of them into the freezer. Then each night I take 2 or 3 out of the freezer and leave them in the fridge to thaw out. I have 3 meals a day with 2 Snacks. The 2 Snacks are 1 bag of the BBQ chicken each time. If I thawed out the 3rd one I make a salad and have chicken salad for lunch

I know you said you haven't had the shakes since post opp but what about going back to a shake for Breakfast or even try the Syntrax nectar with Water for Breakfast I love the fuzzy navel flavour it's a combination of orange and peach.

Or maybe a poached egg, easy way to cook it is in a mug. Fill it a 1/3 of the way with Water add a splash of vinegar if you like or leave it out. Crack an egg into the mug, microwave on high for 1 minute remove from microwave for 20 seconds so the egg has time to set. Lift the egg out with a spoon and you have your poached egg for breakfast.

Now for dinner I have a steamer and I have steamed white fish for dinner once again can be done in the microwave or on top of the stove. I buy frozen and take a piece out in the morning and leave on a plate in the fridge to defrost. Then you can just add whatever veg your dad is eating. I also put a mix of fish sauce and tamari sauce (soy sauce) which I put onto the steamed fish for flavour you can add any other herbs or spices to this sauce. If you don't like fish maybe have a small portion of whatever meat your dad is having without the potato.

Last tip from me is if you know what you are going to eat through the day. Enter it all into my fitness pal in the morning so you make yourself accountable to get it all in during the day. You already have done the hard work at the beginning of the week with the BBQ chicken and it is already set up with portions so the hard work is done. If you have a bad day and can't get up to cook for dinner use the BBQ chicken again.

I hope some of this helps and of course every extra step you take will be increasing your activity. Good Luck please check in and let us know how you are going. Also let us know what is working and what isn't.

[natalie_christin 61]

I'm sorry I haven't sent it sooner but I want everyone to know how much I appreciate their input and suggestions.

I agree with you all, I do need to just take one thing at a time and concentrate on that.there's been so many things that I want to do and I just can't seem to do them. I can't seem to accomplish anything which is so very much unlike me because I am an individual that has always gone through my life accomplishing goals that I said. I guess I'm really off my game… LOL but since becoming disabled I had 27, it really set my life into a tailspin. A great deal of it stems from me not feeling worthy of things anymore and even though I want more for myself, it's very much difficult for me to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Obviously the divorce didn't help either.

And for me this sounds completely crazy becausei've always been able to see the bright side of things. I know we all have our own fears and so for this use from time to time and I just need to figure out how to overcome it.

I also appreciate the dieting suggestions.I was trying to look online and for the lack of a better word get back to basics and find a regular postop diet in the sense of how much Protein to eat and how much carbs to eat, etc.… But I can't seem to find that. It's all primarily postop and preop from surgery. So I'm trying to figure all that out as well.

Again, I sincerely appreciate everyone's suggestions and the care involved. I guess I'm realizing how much I need support right now. I'm the type of person that always sucks it keeps going and deals with whatever I have to deal with and sometimes sucking it up all the time just isn't the right thing to do. For me at least… When I was younger I always laughed at the notion of "finding ones self" until my early 20s when I realized that does really exist. Now at 32 going on 33, I am most think I need to do that again because I've had so many life changes and maybe I really don't know who I am anymore; I guess I have to figure out where to focus my life now since I got sick and can't work anymore. I know this must seem like crazy psycho babble but believe it or not, I should be pretty good at this… I have a bachelors degree in social work and a Masters in psychology – I'm the one that usually helps everyone else. But I guess it's a different thing entirely to help someone else andrealizing that you need help yourself. It's hard for me to ask for help.

I sincerely appreciate everyone. Is any of you guys are interested, I'd really like to talk more but… That's entirely up to you guys.

Have a good day.

Natalie

[natalie_christin 61]

I'm sorry I haven't sent it sooner but I want everyone to know how much I appreciate their input and suggestions.

I agree with you all, I do need to just take one thing at a time and concentrate on that.there's been so many things that I want to do and I just can't seem to do them. I can't seem to accomplish anything which is so very much unlike me because I am an individual that has always gone through my life accomplishing goals that I said. I guess I'm really off my game… LOL but since becoming disabled I had 27, it really set my life into a tailspin. A great deal of it stems from me not feeling worthy of things anymore and even though I want more for myself, it's very much difficult for me to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Obviously the divorce didn't help either.

And for me this sounds completely crazy becausei've always been able to see the bright side of things. I know we all have our own fears and so for this use from time to time and I just need to figure out how to overcome it.

I also appreciate the dieting suggestions.I was trying to look online and for the lack of a better word get back to basics and find a regular postop diet in the sense of how much Protein to eat and how much carbs to eat, etc.… But I can't seem to find that. It's all primarily postop and preop from surgery. So I'm trying to figure all that out as well.

Again, I sincerely appreciate everyone's suggestions and the care involved. I guess I'm realizing how much I need support right now. I'm the type of person that always sucks it keeps going and deals with whatever I have to deal with and sometimes sucking it up all the time just isn't the right thing to do. For me at least… When I was younger I always laughed at the notion of "finding ones self" until my early 20s when I realized that does really exist. Now at 32 going on 33, I am most think I need to do that again because I've had so many life changes and maybe I really don't know who I am anymore; I guess I have to figure out where to focus my life now since I got sick and can't work anymore. I know this must seem like crazy psycho babble but believe it or not, I should be pretty good at this… I have a bachelors degree in social work and a Masters in psychology – I'm the one that usually helps everyone else. But I guess it's a different thing entirely to help someone else andrealizing that you need help yourself. It's hard for me to ask for help.

I sincerely appreciate everyone. Is any of you guys are interested, I'd really like to talk more but… That's entirely up to you guys.

Have a good day.

Natalie

[Roo101769 742]

Natalie,

Trust me, you are far from alone. I do not have any degrees in psychology or social work but I have always been the knowledgeable person. People have often come to me for advice because I pride myself on being informed, non judgmental and fair. I believed going into this I would have absolutely have no issues. I researched and studied and found every bit of information I possibly could, both positive and negative. I sailed through my psych evaluation with no problems at all. I had the tiger by the tail going in and KNEW I would succeed. Yet during the past year I have struggled more than I ever imagined. Of course there is the "honeymoon" period when you have tons of restriction post op, where you want to eat but the urge is not that intense yet. Then you heal. Your body adapts to the new stomach. Your urges increase while the restriction isn't quite as limiting as it once was. I found myself slipping back. What I swore I would never eat again I started taking a bite of here and there. My will power started to dwindle. Yes, I lost weight. At first I lost well, was thrilled. Then the weight loss started to slow down. I hit a wall in June that absolutely killed me. I was within ten pounds of my first 100 lb lost, yet I could not manage to get over that hurdle. I finally started to work out and did drop enough to get down a few pounds. During this year I had a friend who also had the sleeve. He had his two months after me, yet he is now very close to goal, maybe 20lbs to go. I realize everyone is different. I know in my head I should never compare myself to anyone else, especially a male. Yet seeing how well he has done, seeing how close he is to his ideal weight, it has been hard. It messes with your mind. That is something I have struggled with more than any other in this process. I never imagined going in just how much of a mental battle this would be. I did not realize just how messed up I truly was in my relationship with food and my self image. I fooled myself in thinking I had this. I know now, looking back, I would have benefitted greatly with some counseling. ( not an option financially) I have used this site as a lifeline at times, it truly has been a saving grace.

So a year out and a hundred pounds down I have learned these things...1) I am slow at losing weight. While many lose what they want or need to within the first year, I have not. I will have to work harder and keep going to reach my goals. 2) I am in this for the long haul. While I accepted this was a "forever" deal going in, I had assumed I would lose weight quickly then maintain it with the sleeve forever. That is not my reality. My long haul will be my weight loss journey. I know losing 100 lbs is nothing to sneeze at. But I still have quite a ways to go before I am "normal" weight. 3) I only fail if I quit. Each day I get up with the intent of doing my absolute best for my health and weight loss. Some days I am more successful than others. Long as I keep trying then I keep succeeding. 4) I have a life to live. For a few months post op life seemed "surreal". I felt I had shaken the very core of my existence and nothing would ever be the same. I was right and I was wrong. While changing myself through surgery and the resulting weight loss has dramatically changed many aspects of my life, it hasn't changed my life. I still have the same responsibilities as before. I have my daughter to raise, a job, bills to pay etc. I didn't suddenly become the most desirable creature on planet Earth so my love life hasn't really changed. ( Ok, I do get more attention paid to me but that hasn't lead me to finding a soulmate....yet.) I am still pretty much living the life I lived before. Granted it is more active. Not as much sitting on my butt doing nothing, I do get out much more. But overall I am still me and my life is still mine. And finally 5)..I thank God I had the surgery. While it has not been the perfect miracle I had dreamed or hoped for, it has saved me. Today I am better than I was last year. Next year I hope to be better than I am today. Because of this surgery I can have that hope. Before I had lost all hope of being healthy, having a body I could actively live in. I was drowning in a sea of despair. With each passing pound I went up I saw my future fading away. I have that future back now. I can see living a long life. I get to do so much more now with my daughter than I had, and I look forward to many more years spent with her. I thank God for being given the opportunity to lose 100 lbs and for the chance to go even further. I still need to work on my head and will power, to regain some of the early excitement I had for the sleeve. But I can say without shadow of doubt I am truly happy I decided to do this, the struggle has been more than worth it. (and continues to be)

If you want to talk more I would be happy to do so in the messenger. It does help to have someone in your corner who KNOWS. Support is huge in this journey in my opinion.

[natalie_christin 61]

I hope I didn't sound bad by Nice talking about the degrees I had… I I hope that it didn't sound snobbish or anything of that nature because it wasn't intended that way by any means. It's just one of those things where logically I know what to do or what not to do but at the same time it's easier to help peoplewhen you're on the outside looking in versus being the person that's dealing with it yourself. I too would really like the opportunity to go to counseling but I'm in the same boat you are – it's just not feasible due tomy financial situation. I really appreciate it but you had to say. I think that I overwhelm myself with all these things that I know that I have to do but then in conjunction with my health and other things that I'm dealing with, I don't end up being able to do something that I wanted to do or what have you and I end up… I guess feeling bad about myself or down. I'm not one of those people that has pity parties – who knows maybe I am having one and I don't realize it but I want so much to do better and have better and it honestly scares me that I won't have certain opportunities. This honestly has more to do than just weight-loss – there's more to it but I'm just scared I guess.and that's hard for me to admit.

Thank you for offering to talk additionally… This app keeps acting up for me but if I can send youAPM, I will see what I can do.

I hope everyone's having a good day/weekend.

Natalie,

Trust me, you are far from alone. I do not have any degrees in psychology or social work but I have always been the knowledgeable person. People have often come to me for advice because I pride myself on being informed, non judgmental and fair. I believed going into this I would have absolutely have no issues. I researched and studied and found every bit of information I possibly could, both positive and negative. I sailed through my psych evaluation with no problems at all. I had the tiger by the tail going in and KNEW I would succeed. Yet during the past year I have struggled more than I ever imagined. Of course there is the "honeymoon" period when you have tons of restriction post op, where you want to eat but the urge is not that intense yet. Then you heal. Your body adapts to the new stomach. Your urges increase while the restriction isn't quite as limiting as it once was. I found myself slipping back. What I swore I would never eat again I started taking a bite of here and there. My will power started to dwindle. Yes, I lost weight. At first I lost well, was thrilled. Then the weight loss started to slow down. I hit a wall in June that absolutely killed me. I was within ten pounds of my first 100 lb lost, yet I could not manage to get over that hurdle. I finally started to work out and did drop enough to get down a few pounds. During this year I had a friend who also had the sleeve. He had his two months after me, yet he is now very close to goal, maybe 20lbs to go. I realize everyone is different. I know in my head I should never compare myself to anyone else, especially a male. Yet seeing how well he has done, seeing how close he is to his ideal weight, it has been hard. It messes with your mind. That is something I have struggled with more than any other in this process. I never imagined going in just how much of a mental battle this would be. I did not realize just how messed up I truly was in my relationship with food and my self image. I fooled myself in thinking I had this. I know now, looking back, I would have benefitted greatly with some counseling. ( not an option financially) I have used this site as a lifeline at times, it truly has been a saving grace.

So a year out and a hundred pounds down I have learned these things...1) I am slow at losing weight. While many lose what they want or need to within the first year, I have not. I will have to work harder and keep going to reach my goals. 2) I am in this for the long haul. While I accepted this was a "forever" deal going in, I had assumed I would lose weight quickly then maintain it with the sleeve forever. That is not my reality. My long haul will be my weight loss journey. I know losing 100 lbs is nothing to sneeze at. But I still have quite a ways to go before I am "normal" weight. 3) I only fail if I quit. Each day I get up with the intent of doing my absolute best for my health and weight loss. Some days I am more successful than others. Long as I keep trying then I keep succeeding. 4) I have a life to live. For a few months post op life seemed "surreal". I felt I had shaken the very core of my existence and nothing would ever be the same. I was right and I was wrong. While changing myself through surgery and the resulting weight loss has dramatically changed many aspects of my life, it hasn't changed my life. I still have the same responsibilities as before. I have my daughter to raise, a job, bills to pay etc. I didn't suddenly become the most desirable creature on planet Earth so my love life hasn't really changed. ( Ok, I do get more attention paid to me but that hasn't lead me to finding a soulmate....yet.) I am still pretty much living the life I lived before. Granted it is more active. Not as much sitting on my butt doing nothing, I do get out much more. But overall I am still me and my life is still mine. And finally 5)..I thank God I had the surgery. While it has not been the perfect miracle I had dreamed or hoped for, it has saved me. Today I am better than I was last year. Next year I hope to be better than I am today. Because of this surgery I can have that hope. Before I had lost all hope of being healthy, having a body I could actively live in. I was drowning in a sea of despair. With each passing pound I went up I saw my future fading away. I have that future back now. I can see living a long life. I get to do so much more now with my daughter than I had, and I look forward to many more years spent with her. I thank God for being given the opportunity to lose 100 lbs and for the chance to go even further. I still need to work on my head and will power, to regain some of the early excitement I had for the sleeve. But I can say without shadow of doubt I am truly happy I decided to do this, the struggle has been more than worth it. (and continues to be)

If you want to talk more I would be happy to do so in the messenger. It does help to have someone in your corner who KNOWS. Support is huge in this journey in my opinion.

[swimbikerun 1,046]

Natalie_christin

You didn't come off bad at all. There is nothing wrong with saying here are my qualifications. It is helpful to know who is educated in what. People can make better decisions about who they might want to ask what question.

I hope I didn't sound bad by Nice talking about the degrees I had… I I hope that it didn't sound snobbish or anything of that nature because it wasn't intended that way by any means. It's just one of those things where logically I know what to do or what not to do but at the same time it's easier to help peoplewhen you're on the outside looking in versus being the person that's dealing with it yourself. I too would really like the opportunity to go to counseling but I'm in the same boat you are – it's just not feasible due tomy financial situation. I really appreciate it but you had to say. I think that I overwhelm myself with all these things that I know that I have to do but then in conjunction with my health and other things that I'm dealing with, I don't end up being able to do something that I wanted to do or what have you and I end up… I guess feeling bad about myself or down. I'm not one of those people that has pity parties – who knows maybe I am having one and I don't realize it but I want so much to do better and have better and it honestly scares me that I won't have certain opportunities. This honestly has more to do than just weight-loss – there's more to it but I'm just scared I guess.and that's hard for me to admit.
Thank you for offering to talk additionally… This app keeps acting up for me but if I can send youAPM, I will see what I can do.

I hope everyone's having a good day/weekend.

[natalie_christin 61]

Thank you – I was just afraid it sounded pompous or something like that… We all have our issues and we all had our ups and downs and try our best to deal with them.

[BellaLuce4 261]

@@natalie_christin thank you for sharing your story.

The pain you are living with daily hit home for me especially. I was only sleeved 6 weeks ago. A week before my surgery my foot swelled up and I couldn't get out of bed. They wheeled me into surgery! I stayed like that for 3 more weeks. Unless you are bedridden and in constant pain, I just don't know if you can imagine just how debilitating it can be! I know I never could until it happened to me.

Pain is overwhelming and can be all consuming, regardless of everything else happening. Do you have a pain management plan from your doctors?

That you were able to loose 100 lbs through chronic pain and a Divorce in just a year speaks volumes of your strength!!!! You are amazing!!

Sounds like you know just what you need to do, you just need to vent and re-establish some life lines. Being bound inside is isolating, thank god for the internet!!!

Pain aside, Divorce is like a death. There are levels of mourning that a person must go through. Only you and/or a therapist can help you through that.

Years ago, I had found a public therapy center that accepts patients on a sliding income scale. They are in most areas. Getting there is a different issue. Now I'm married with 4 kids and loving life and living it to the fullest most days. You are young and have the world ahead of you!! Keep going, your a smart women and you can shape your life????

I know I am so happy I found this site! I go to this site for support and answers. We are lucky to have it and to have each other. If you ever need to reach out to a friend message me????

Arlene

[swimbikerun 1,046]

Glad to hear you are also a success story in more ways than one Arlene. Sharing messages of hope, there's nothing like it.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Suggestion -- which won't surprise to you -- every day, get dressed and leave the house.

Every day.

Doesn't matter where you go. Or for how long.

But do it every day.

You won't be able to build a life until you leave the house.