Cried For Hours Tonight... (and hello)

[AvaFern 3,516]

I had a similar experience right before my surgery. I had never had surgery before so I was extra freaked out. I didn't write letters but I had to put all of my business information and account information somewhere so that if something happened, people would be able to access all of my accounts. Pretty sure I had a little cry fest of my own, but everything worked out fine! A few weeks ago when I had plastic surgery, I updated the information that I had written out a year ago, although this time I was moderately more convinced I probably would make it through.

Keep your letters and read them sometime in the future if you begin to take life for granted again (which we all do!). You will do just fine in surgery. Good luck!

[Miss Mac 6,262]

Welcome to the forum.

Now that you have considered the worst case scenario, please spend a little time, (on this beautiful crisp autumn Sunday) and imagine the best case scenario......losing weight (with the "not fair" male factor) and being healthier and happier for the rest of your extended life.

What you did with getting things in order, is indeed and good pro-active measure because you never know when your time in your earthly container is up. Writing a will, sorting out finances, and composing good-bye letters to my family was the hardest thing that I have ever had to do - ever. The emotions I experienced were unexpected and painful. So much so that it took me weeks to finish. I would bawl every time I sat down to continue the process.

Recently (and coincidentally ahead of my own bariatric surgery) I updated everything since I had not changed anything in nine years). Once again, it was a difficult and challenging process. I appreciate what you are feeling, and commend you for getting things in order.

So many people are unprepared in that department, even in just a practical way. If anything happens to me now, my boyfriend and daughters know exactly where my papers are and how I feel about final matters. I am afraid that if anything happens to my boyfriend, I will be homeless in 30 days. We have had "the talk", but I think he resists because he knows, too, how hard it is to face the harsh reality that I life as we know it is temporary.

Also, I agree with the others here that you should tuck your letters away for now. If you feel so strongly that your family should know that you care, I am sure that they do know already. Best thing you can do is hug them and tell them every day. They know.

Good luck with your surgery. By the time you lose that first 30-50 pounds, you will feel better already. Your confidence will soar, and your body's internal systems will thank you for the improvements in your nutrition. And your kids and family will be delighted to have you more involved in their lives.

Let the hospital staff put that IV in, take a nap for about an hour, and wake up with a new birthday. You have made a geat choice to have this surgery. Now go think about the best case scenario and get off this computer and enjoy the day with your lovely family.

[haleytrim 244]

First post here... I really wish I'd found this forum a few weeks ago! My surgery is in FIVE days.

I decided I should write a goodbye letter to my family tonight, and couldn't stop crying during the whole thing. in fact I didn't quite finish yet. I feel awful thinking the worst... and I'm super-confident everything will be okay... but ever since Joan Rivers and her "routine" surgery, I just know I need to tell them all one more time how much I love them if something happens.

Has anyone else done this?

I did some legal stuff this week... setting up living will, and a living trust with my wife. That all seemed so normal and clinical.. it wasn't until I started writing the individual goodbyes stuff that I lost it.

We have four kids... ages 8 to 15. Three girls and a boy. They're all amazing kids, and my family is the primary reason I'm doing this. For myself, too, of course... but really it's for all of them. I love being their dad and I can't imagine not making it for all these graduations and weddings.

I'm emotionally drained for the night... but look forward to coming to this forum tomorrow and really reading up.

I am about a month and a half out from surgery and was beginning to have these same feelings. Can't thank you enough for putting it in words! This is such a great forum with such caring folks.

[aSleeveStory 128]

What a fantastic group of responses to wake up to today. I'm eternally grateful for the kind words, great insights, and thoughtful suggestions. You're all okay in my book...

[aSleeveStory 128]

I am about a month and a half out from surgery and was beginning to have these same feelings. Can't thank you enough for putting it in words! This is such a great forum with such caring folks.

Certainly glad I was able to help. I found this site last night after wiping away my fourth or fifth eyeful of tears. I started to wonder if it was normal to write such letters, and my Google search brought me here. I read a few others postings, and then thought I'd start my own. This place is a treasure trove of great people... so thankful to have found it.

Even before I started letter writing, I had a few bouts of "oh crap, what if..." but as everyone seems to point out, its perfectly normal. The truth is, as much of a lifesaver and game-changer this surgery is... its still wholly unnatural to remove most of an organ that really has nothing wrong with it. It makes sense remove a gangrened finger tip... this is a bid radical to think about, and surely there's some part of our brain that questions it right up until it's all but done.

I assume it'll be like my appendix... I don't miss it.

[telltell624 34]

I did the same, except I also made a video for my kids. I was nervous up until I started breathing the gas. Then I woke up. It was over and all was ok. Everyone's here for you. All should be fine.

[MISSORLANDOPLUSAMERICA2011 11]

This is normal!

You will be fine. Have FAITH and know that you will be just fine! You are doing this for a healthier life

[Fireweed56 8]

Appreciate your posts. All of them. I'm normally a optimistic person. However, as my sleeve date gets closer (10/30) i become more and more dramatic about the "what if" happens. I've done my homework and know that any surgery can have consequences. Working closely with my therapist to "breathe" through and "tap" through my own personal crazeee. Looking forward to the other side and being able to tie my shoes and live a healthy life without insulin. Hanging in there too!

[telltell624 34]

You have the right idea. Good luck with the weight loss. Many people get off insulin after. That'll be great for you. I'm only 3wks post op, I'm down from my heaviest(366) to 317 now. I'm slowly becoming more active to lose it faster, hopefully. Lol. I'm happy with it. Good luck on your journey![emoji4]

[Miss Mac 6,262]

To the original poster: you know why you have to do this. Here is why some others of us followed through on the surgey. It's a long thread, and will keep you out of trouble for hours. So if you have having a "last straw" marathon on a rainy day, get up every once in a while and shake that thang!

http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/219831-what-was-your-final-straw-that-broke-the-camels-back/page-72?hl=%2Blast+%2Bstraw#entry3620547

[Roo101769 742]

When I had my surgery last year I did a lot of what you describe too. My daughter was 4( almost 5) at the time and I am a single mom. I did the will and living will thing, but I also had to seriously contemplate what would happen to my daughter. (Her father uninvolved) I have had issues with developing DVTs and the clots going into my lungs. (pulmonary embolism) You hear of many relatively healthy, often young people suddenly dropping dead of the exact same thing. Needless to say I was at increased odds of a bad outcome and actually had to have additional clearances and take extra precautions. Thing was, I wasn't really nervous about dying. I was more scared of the future I faced at the weight I was and the pounds I kept adding. I knew this was my last resort, my only chance of turning things around. I went through my surgery and recovery and had really no problems.

I am one of those "slow losers". I have definitely struggled at times with how life has changed ( and in some ways has not changed) and all this journey entails. I am nearly a year out yet I am just over half way to goal. When you read about folks who reach goal in a few months it can be discouraging. But I always try to remember this, I wouldn't be half way to anything if I had not done this procedure. I would not have lost nearly 100lbs, I would not have the ability to do things in this body that I had not done forever. And...I might not have had the chance to be the mom I can be now for my girl. Sure, I am still heavy. Heck I am still "clinically obese" . But guess what? I am a 219lb girl and not a 316lb girl. I can better live my life. I feel better. I look better. And I do not regret having the surgery for one minute. It has become just another part of this thing I call my life...

So keep your chin up and expect great things. It is natural to be scared, you wouldn't be human if your weren't. Just know you will be fine, have faith in it. A positive attitude can go a very long way when facing an unknown. Your kids are lucky to have you and will be even luckier to get many more years of a healthy you around!

[#9grammy 274]

Well said...

[Rovobay 920]

@@aSleeveStory welcome to this site. and good luck on your surgery in a few days.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

ah, it is so normal to be so emotional.. I feel for ya. I am 3 years post op and went from 308 to about 140-145... it is so worth it!

Funny story, I had plastic surgery in Mexico. I went for lots of plastics at once which of course is higher risk. I had lots of faith in my surgeon, but on the airplane ride to Monterey I wrote all these good bye letters. I gave my companion firm instructions on how they should be distributed in the event of my death.

Well, I survived.

My friend admitted that during my surgery she accidently dumped coffee over the lot of them and they were unreadable. She took it as a sign they wouldn't be needed.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Hilarious story, CGJ.

LOL!