more random thoughts...

[gowalking 10,790]

I'm still not always thinking like a thin person. I took out my jeans this morning and just before I put them on, a quick thought went through my head that they wouldn't fit. I knew they would but I still recall easily that fear or unease every time I'd put on my pants when I was obese. I always feared they wouldn't fit and that fear is still there obviously. It's especially hard now beacause the jeans are really small and I don't realize that I'm small alot of the times. Still working on body image issues though it is getting better.

The other random thought today is that we really really need to not obsess over the scale. I admit I weigh myself daily. I do it because it helps me early in my maintenance phase. Having said that though, the number cannot determine our outlook for the day either. I went out to dinner Wednesday night and again last night. Wednesday night I had grilled fish, a couple of shrimp, veggies and a little bit of couscous. When I got on the scale in the morning, the number was the same as it had been for several days. I was a little surprised since I've been very compliant.

So last night, we went to a restaurant that's supposed to have the best Pasta in all of NYC. My sister in law is leaving for Beijing on Wednesday for work and will be gone for a year. She wanted her last meal in NYC to be her favorite food so we headed to Porsena even though Pasta is my trigger food for sure. Well...I stayed in control but ate more carbs than usual. After all...it was the best pasta in the city. (It was really good..lol) I also had a little bit of dessert and two glasses of white wine.

So I got on the scale this morning and figured I'd be up at least a pound if not more. I lost almost a pound instead. Just shows you that it's only a number and the numbers can move without rhyme or reason. I'm not feeling like I dodged a bullet today, nor do I feel bad if the scale doesn't go down or stay the same when I'm being especially compliant. I focus on the NSVs instead. The best one last night was not that the food was terrific (which it was) but I walked home from the restaurant. I went across town and had no real issues doing it. A year ago I was bed ridden and days away from my hip replacement surgery. Walking home from the restaurant was better than any number on the scale.

OK, sorry for rambling...have a great day, and a great weekend everyone. For those who Celebrate Yom Kippur, have a good holiday and an easy fast.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Don't ever apologize for rambling! I love reading the everyday awarenesses and discoveries of your newly thin life. I keep doing double takes in the closet mirror doors each morning because the way the doors join and fold, sometimes I get a funhouse type image. Too skinny. Lol. Well I thought that was happening again this week but then I looked again, and I wasn't looking at the joined door but at a solid mirror. My body really was as narrow as it looked at first glance. I'm in shock. I also look down at my thighs when I am sitting and can't believe they are as narrow as they are. It's like an out of body experience. I know I'm close to Onederland, so that's an objective measuring point for me. It helps to reset my brain. I objectively know that 200 pounds has a certain look to it and therefore I must look close to that mental image. But it's so hard to internalize !

Like you, I am working on issues underneath my eating addiction. I'm dealing with emotional issues now but I truly see the benefit of working with a therapist on body image issues in my future. Keep posting and giving words to what we are going through!

[lisacaron 5,075]

You are so right about the numbers on the scale not making or breaking us. I'm horrible with stepping on the scale and I should do it more often. The problem is finding a level space in the house to put the scale and then stepping on it constantly all the time and I'm a bit OCD about it and I always want it to be the same time of day, with the same "type" of clothing or lack of clothing...the scale has to be in the same spot...and so I just never find the time to get on the darn thing! I try to every couple of weeks or so.

Thank goodness the number has never gone up it's always the same or down and that's a good feeling. Poor hubs though, he's not OCD like me and he will step on the scale wearing different shoes, or different close and different times of the day and you know that number can fluctuate all day long. More Water less water...big meal no meal..all those things factor in and he will feel down about the number.

I don't know why because he looks GREAT. he's so slim and I tell him that all the time. He's happy...he was able to have his hip surgery he's back in fire gear, working and teaching and all that. I tell him the number is just that a number. I am never going to be 97 pounds again and you know what I would not WANT to be! When I was 16 and my skin fit my bones that weight was OK. Today I don't need to be that weight cause it would not fit the person that I am. I just try to be "healthy" that's my ultimate goal. Happy and Healthy.

I get how you feel about your jeans though 100% . I don't like clothes that bind and pinch and jeans always did that to me. Now not so much and I will put on clothes that haven't fit me or were tight on me and find them loose and it's a nice feeling! Especially since that means this winter I will have clothes to wear without having to go out and buy too many "new" things

I thought I would share some photo's of the hubby this time and you can see how really "thin" he has gotten even in Fire Gear!

[enjoythetime 1,457]

Honestly I still have a love hate relationship with the scale. Since starting I haven't owned a scale, I only weigh in when I go in for my check-ups but now my check-ups are getting more and more spread out and I find myself going crazy because I have no idea (other than how my clothes fit) if I'm properly maintaining especially if there are days that I haven't been so compliant. So I've been considering purchasing a scale and having it under lock and key so that I only weigh myself once a week. I feel like I need something to definitively tell me all is ok, is that weird?

[enjoythetime 1,457]

@lisacaron I do the EXACT same thing, at least I'm in good company!

Edited October 3, 2014 by enjoythetime

[lisacaron 5,075]

Honestly I still have a love hate relationship with the scale. Since starting I haven't owned a scale, I only weigh in when I go in for my check-ups but now my check-ups are getting more and more spread out and I find myself going crazy because I have no idea (other than how my clothes fit) if I'm properly maintaining especially if there are days that I haven't been so compliant. So I've been considering purchasing a scale and having it under lock and key so that I only weigh myself once a week. I feel like I need something to definitively tell me all is ok, is that weird?

Nope not weird at all. I think in maintenance phase you really do need to have your own scale so you can be sure your in a good place. Definitely keep it under lock and key though so you don't obsess about the number if you think that would be something to worry about

[labwalker 1,177]

Thank you for your post... but I live by the scale... that is what i found works for me in the long term. I log my weight at bedtime, and when I wake up. But, I don't let the day to day normal variations bother me! I've gained ten pounds in one day, after an exhausting experience of flying for over 9 hours! Obviously I was bloated, but averaging my weight over several days eliminated that anomaly.

Averaging out the scale readings shows me what progress I am making. I've gone three months where my average weight hadn't changed, and for a band patient that was a signal that perhaps a fill was needed. My obsession is based on averaging the daily results to show TRENDS for weekly and monthly weight loss, and then to average the them out into a graph that shows a smooth curve that represents my gains or losses.

As a lap band patient, long periods of no weight loss that are longer than a month might be an indication that I may need another fill.

Obsessing over daily gains or losses is meaningless. It the averaged results, spread over several days or even a month that shows progress. Why daily?? I've seen days where my weight has been higher or lower than expected. If I based progress on those extremes (by chance) the results would not be valid. I'm probably a bit anal in that I track calories, Protein, exercise on a daily basis. But for me, that is what works long term. Everyone is different, and my needs are obviously far different than those of others.

Anyone with a successful track record for WLS surgery has found the path to ensure a continued path into the future. Not all trails are the same, but hopefully the journeys ends at the same point.

Edited October 3, 2014 by labwalker

[gowalking 10,790]

Honestly I still have a love hate relationship with the scale. Since starting I haven't owned a scale, I only weigh in when I go in for my check-ups but now my check-ups are getting more and more spread out and I find myself going crazy because I have no idea (other than how my clothes fit) if I'm properly maintaining especially if there are days that I haven't been so compliant. So I've been considering purchasing a scale and having it under lock and key so that I only weigh myself once a week. I feel like I need something to definitively tell me all is ok, is that weird?

Not at all. In fact, that's why I weigh daily. I need to know all is OK because I haven't found my 'normal' yet.

[gowalking 10,790]

Ken's looking real good Lisa. Tell him I said so....unless he'll be impossible to live with...lol!

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

I'm so much happier since I started weighing weekly instead of daily. It was affecting my mood every morning.

[Debbie3sons 1,936]

He looks like he's drowning not because of the snow but in those s , looks like he has lost some weight after the hospital picture.

You are so right about the numbers on the scale not making or breaking us. I'm horrible with stepping on the scale and I should do it more often. The problem is finding a level space in the house to put the scale and then stepping on it constantly all the time and I'm a bit OCD about it and I always want it to be the same time of day, with the same "type" of clothing or lack of clothing...the scale has to be in the same spot...and so I just never find the time to get on the darn thing! I try to every couple of weeks or so.

Thank goodness the number has never gone up it's always the same or down and that's a good feeling. Poor hubs though, he's not OCD like me and he will step on the scale wearing different shoes, or different close and different times of the day and you know that number can fluctuate all day long. More Water less water...big meal no meal..all those things factor in and he will feel down about the number.

I don't know why because he looks GREAT. he's so slim and I tell him that all the time. He's happy...he was able to have his hip surgery he's back in fire gear, working and teaching and all that. I tell him the number is just that a number. I am never going to be 97 pounds again and you know what I would not WANT to be! When I was 16 and my skin fit my bones that weight was OK. Today I don't need to be that weight cause it would not fit the person that I am. I just try to be "healthy" that's my ultimate goal. Happy and Healthy.

I get how you feel about your jeans though 100% . I don't like clothes that bind and pinch and jeans always did that to me. Now not so much and I will put on clothes that haven't fit me or were tight on me and find them loose and it's a nice feeling! Especially since that means this winter I will have clothes to wear without having to go out and buy too many "new" things

I thought I would share some photo's of the hubby this time and you can see how really "thin" he has gotten even in Fire Gear!

IMG_0001.JPG

IMG_0073.JPG

IMG_0074.JPG

[terrydumont46 1,954]

before wls if I had gotten to 220 lbs I would have been very happy. now being so overwhelmed by wt. loss I don't think my goal will be enough. I am down to 214 as we speak and I should be happy. I know somewhere I will be comfortable with myself hope it comes soon.

[2muchfun 8,927]

I posted this earlier today on another thread and it kindof fits here:

"Last week I went to Boise to see my Grandkids. Great time and great kids but I ate like I just got off Survivor Island.

Over 2 1/2 days I ate:

2 bags of chips and dip

Appetizer and a plate of Pad Thai at Thai restaurant

3-4 country donuts see video!

Ham sandwich and more chips

2 bowls of Cereal

large bowl of frozen yogurt(various flavors)

3 pancakes smothered in Syrup, two eggs, pile of hashbrowns and 4 sausages

Red Robin fish and chips, 4 deep fried onion rings and a large pumpkin pie milkshake

2 helpings of lasagna

12 small snicker(Halloween size) bites

I had gained 9 lbs by time I got home Monday. Every day since, I've lost weight(not fat) and I"m back down that 9 lbs. It was all Water retention. Processed foods will do it every time.

Great video but not for the faint of heart:

2012-09-30 09.15.32.mov

Edited October 4, 2014 by 2muchfun

[terrydumont46 1,954]

why does it seem that we can put on wt. so quickly. when my band was unfilled I gained 10lbs in a month and by the time my band had fill in it again and I started soft foods I gained another 3 lbs. so crazy. my doctor wants to unfill me again at least a small amount and I don't want to do it. but of course I will be a compliant bandster and do what my doctor says.

[Julie norton 2,850]

why does it seem that we can put on wt. so quickly. when my band was unfilled I gained 10lbs in a month and by the time my band had fill in it again and I started soft foods I gained another 3 lbs. so crazy. my doctor wants to unfill me again at least a small amount and I don't want to do it. but of course I will be a compliant bandster and do what my doctor says.

I agree with quick weight gain if non compliant. And I fills seem to go with just a bit more food than usual.

But I'm in the camp that doesn't weigh themselves too much. Much of my adult life the scale has not been my friend. It truly affects my mood for the day. I can tell by clothing and other ways if I'm on track and fine. I do weigh in at my Drs. appt and sometimes at friends houses but do not keep a scale in the house.