Feeling sad :(

[OhSoNique 84]

So today I went for my new psych evaluation(my old one had expired) I went in feeling excited and happy and I left feeling kinda sad and upset. I explained to her why I needed a new evaluation and that I have changed my mind from the lap band to the sleeve within the last few months. She asked me my understanding of the sleeve and the pros and cons and why I wanted it. I explained that I always struggled with my weight and Im a high risk for diabetes and high pressure bc it runs in my family etc etc. I don't always see myself as being beautiful, then she was like so you are going to have the surgery and be a new you and be pretty and and have all the guys chasing you how are you going to handle that? In my mind I was thinking so you agree that I would be prettier thinner and how you know that I don't have guys chasing me now, why just because I'm fat? lol

Then later in the convo she asked about my finances and how I spend my money and do I save etc etc. And if I had debts and if I pay my bills on time. Im thinking like with does this have to do with anything. Then about my family and told her a little about my parents and my mom being on drugs when I was born but then got better and how I was always sick when I was little and she was like so you suffer from depression? I said no and then later she asked me a few times have i ever been treated for my depression, I had to keep telling her I have never been depressed. She made me feel really bad that I want to keep my surgery and also the fact that I was really sick when I was younger and the fact that I'm dealing with a mass in front of my heart and a history of pulmonary embolism and all that a secret. I told her that I didn't tell a lot of people because frankly its not no ones business. Its about me and being healthier. Then she made a comment about how none of my family knows about my business and the ones that do is keeping the secret too. I just felt sad after leaving, and she wants to see me again after I meet with the surgeon. I wanted to be like Ummm noooo I just want my evaluation and never come back. The other Dr didn't make me feel bad, he was like he respect my choice of not telling people and if they ask just tell them you are working on a better you and getting healthy. Not everyone needs to know if you don't want them too.

[cjenkins74 31]

I agree I am not broadcasting mine I support you chin up!

[OhSoNique 84]

I agree I am not broadcasting mine I support you chin up!

Thank you!! exactly there is no need to broadcast your business to everyone. Its a personal choice and not everyone is understanding.

[shellyd88 463]

Ok I don't get the questions about bills debt etc why is that even a topic in the evaluation and the law protects your medical privacy but a dr is hassles u for not telling everyone ? This sounds like somewhat of a power trip with this dr sorry I hope everything works out for u

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

oooops

Edited October 3, 2014 by proudgrammy

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

@@OhSoNique

wow - not a very nice experience

feeling so good when you enterred, her putting you in a bummer mood

2nd meeting is usually a requirement

all those things she talked about - she went way overboard

? about depression - ok maybe once - but keep pushing it???

i would get depressed by her continually pushing the subject

all those personal family issues

making sure you understand the WLS - thats ok - but as with everthing else, she seemed to keep pushing the subject

finances/bills/debts

R U kidding me!!

she sounds like a real winner

maybe she should have an evaluation!!

stay strong

sooner than later, she'll just be a bad nightmare - you'll wake up

you are starting a new healthier, happier, longer life

enjoy

good luck

kathy

Edited October 3, 2014 by proudgrammy

[Aribay1 198]

I know how you feel whe. I went to my cardiologist he "fat shamed" me. He made it seem like I had all these problems and I'm like no I don't have high blood pressure no I don't have shortness of breath and no I don't have ashma he was just assuming because I'm overweight but it'll get better trust me. Omg he also said wow the pressure on your legs are perfect for a person your size. Like f*** you! Lol don't worry it gets better trust me!

[CANOEINNH 15]

Sorry for your experience. Were you required to use this doc. Look elsewhere, sometimes it just isn't a good fit. Hang in there. I just had my sleeve done and know the road ahead will be bumpy. Use the support here to help you get through it. Taking care of you is always a good thing.

[Sleeve_Sistah85 193]

Wow! What an a$$hole! You should've said to her "what makes you think I'm not already pretty and have guys chasing after me? I'm not doing this for beauty or attention. I'm doing this for my health."

[OhSoNique 84]

Thanks guys!! I feel much better now, I'm a cancer so I'm a emotional and sensitive person. I tried my hardest not to cry in front of her, don't even want to imagine if I did. She would have whipped out her prescription pad to write me drugs lol. I'm glad I'm not the only one who went thru something like this and you guys are so encouraging. The 1st psychiatrist that I saw was nice, we talked about weight loss and I told him one thing that worried about me was after surgery when I would have to eat lunch with my co workers what I would tell them, he was like simple just tell them you are working with a dr for weight loss and changing your diet. He said they don't need to know you had wls if you don't want to tell them. We talked about things regarding weight and my past issues. Nothing about my paychecks and making me feel bad and trying to push things on me. Too bad he moved and I couldn't go back to him to just get a amendment added to that elv.

What I'm scared of is that when I asked when I can get the letter to take for my appt on 10/7 the office worker was like yes I'll fax it to you like before and the lady was like oh no don't fax it to her, fax it to the surgeon instead. So is she going to write something she doesn't want me to see?? I'm going to be sooooooooo mad if she does. Im so close and if she gets in my way ughhhh omgoshhhhh lol

I got referred to her by my pcp, I went there because she was in the same building with my doctor and close to my house. The hospital gave me a list of other drs I could also see, so if she writes something bad I'm just going to make a appt with one of those.

[woo woo 872]

Yes. For sure go with a psych that is WLS-friendly.

They will know what is important to cover for this procedure and not try to probe every part of your life. This was def way too much!!

Hang in there!!

[aSleeveStory 128]

I've told very few people myself. Aside from a few very close friends and my most IMMEDIATE family, I've kept rather quiet about it.

It's a personal choice, and unless the psych thought you were being sneaky for some reason ,he had no business making you feel bad. I'm sorry you had to deal with that.

[OhSoNique 84]

Thanks! I'm still sticking by decision n not telling everyone. Some of my family knows, my ex bf, and one of my manager n my best friend. She doesn't know me and as a psychiatrist she should be more un judgmental

[darwinlady33 16]

My partner does not support my "radical and crazy" idea of surgery and that I have not tried "eating less and exercising more"

My mum supports my decision.. And I've been too scared to tell anyone else.

My surgery is booked in for the 15th dec. going to make Christmas Day pretty horrific but I get 1 week paid office shut down between christmas and new year so fly down to melbourne on the 10th have pre surgery appointment, and surgery on the 15th.. Hospital for 5 days.. 10 days of go slow and hang out with my mum for a bit and fly home on the 2nd jan.

My friend who I went to school with wrote a ebook called about nutrition aval at: www.nutritionforweightlosssurgery.com

I still have not told her im having surgery.. Im 100kg and don't look huge but still need to get this under control.

Im shit scared about living on milkshakes for 2 weeks!

[OhSoNique 84]

@@darwinlady33 you look amazing!!! Awww Why do u need surgery? Well I wish you the best of luck!!