What is your story?

[badonkadonkbutt 1]

There are a few moments in time that stick out in my mind that really hit home that contributed to where I am at today. The first time I truly identified my weight as an issue was when I was 9. I can remember my dying great grandmother looking at me and telling me to go step on the scale, I did. I don't remember what I weighed, but it was more than her. She mocked me in front of my mom, siblings (who didn't have a weight problem), dad, grandma, and great grandfather. She was dying of breast cancer at the time and passed away shortly after this incident. It made me feel awful and that was the first time I started paying attention to what I ate and tried to lose weight. I continued to be chubby. I yoyoed back and forth through highschool. At one point when I was 17, I lost all of my excess weight and weighed 150lbs. I looked great. I was pretty much starving myself and working out 3 plus hours a day to do it. I was not doing it the healthy way. Worse, I started hurting the people around me. I became 'stuck up' you could say; just what I despised all through school....snobs.....I was one of them. I realized this and tried to get back on track with my friends and myself....and starting gaining weight. As soon as my senior year came up, I started to really gain the weight back and by graduation was chubby once again. After high school, I pretty much stayed the same weight until I got married, at a young age I might add, at 20. I had been dating my husband since I was 13 and new he was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. We got married while I was in college and things became very tough. I was working full time, going to college full time, had a long commute to school, and we were falling behind on bills fast. Then I became pregnant just three months after we were married. I continued with school until our first child was born in June. Once she was born (I was a junior in college at this time) I decided to take a break from school to be home with her. I began working a second shift job so that I could be home with her during the day and my husband with her at night. I felt closed off from the rest of the world. I was living about an hour away from my friends and family and never saw my husband. My onlys source of social interaction was a child. I began eating to help pass the time and help forget about the financial strain we were going through. This went on for about two years when I became pregnant with my second child. I know this sounds terrible, but I was crushed. I was just about to start back to school to finish my degree when I found out. I found out I was pregnant with him at 6 weeks and at 9 weeks I suffered from a chorionic hemmorage. I ended up on bed rest from 9 weeks until I was almost 8 months along. I decided to go back to school anyway, online, and finished my degree through the University of Phoenix. At this point, I was too consumed in school to worry about food. After I had my son, things went back to somewhat normalcy when just 8 weeks later, I found out I was pregnant again......AGAIN! (you would think by now we would have figured out what was causing this....) I was not happy at all. My last pregnancy had ruined us financially, my marriage was falling apart, now I had new school loans to deal with and another baby on the way. Luckily this pregnancy went well and my third child was born. That is when my weight issues began to soar again. With three kids at home I was back to working full time.

And my husband.....he is something. I love him (or the old him) dearly, but his actions or lack there of through all of this has caused me to lose my respect for him. While I was going to school, he wouldn't help me. He watched me take care of our two very young children while pregnant with the third staying up to all hours of the night doing homework. When I asked him for help with the house or our horses, he was too busy helping his friends and family out. It crushed me, but I felt stuck and just kept plugging along. Where was I going to go with three kids by myself over an hour away from all my family? Financially I couldn't afford to do anything so I stayed. I think overall it made me stronger. I stopped relying on him and starting relying on myself and myself only to get things done. I have never had much family support or much of a support circle around me anyway and have adjusted to that, I was just hoping that he would be different, he isn't. My eating increased to deal with the pain of not having him to support me, therefore my weight increased. About two years ago when our youngest was less than a year, I confronted him about all of this and told him that I don't need him anymore and hated him for how he treated me since we had been married. We attempted marriage counseling but he felt it was stupid, so I just pulled away. I started to focus on myself, my kids, and our health and made him an afterthought, just as he had done to me. He didn't like this and has tried to wiggle his way back into the picture. Things are good for a while, then bad. I try hard not to let it bother me but it does and it should. Now I am trying to lose the weight not only for my health, but for my mental well being.

The weight represents to me a person that caves under pressure, a weakness. I am not weak. I have three kids under age 5, I put myself through college, have a nice home, take care of all our bills, raise horses, and am a self-reliant person. I want my self image to match my successes, not my failures as I feel it does now. I want to share my life with someone who feels the same way, if it isn't my husband then I am preparing myself to move on. First, I have to conquer this battle.

Thanks for listening to me rattle on. I have read many stories everyone has shared here and they have helped me make this decision.....I wanted to share mine, maybe there is someone else out there that has been down a path like mine. If anyone else would like to add to this thread their story, I would love to be a sounding board. I almost feel like a weight has been lifted. Until I found this forum, I have never had a support group around me. I truly feel like I can turn to you guys to help me get through this. Thanks!!

[tonya66 13]

Lee Ann - hello, I can tell from your story you are very strong and determined person. You should be very proud of yourself!

When will you be banded or are you banded?

I love my band and it has helped me with the issue I have had all my life, yo yo dieting.

I've only had the band for 4 months, however, I feel like it has been with me a lifetime now. I have adjusted well with the band and so happy I did the surgery.

I will add that I remember my first issue and how I realized I was overweight. I remember in 6th grade, I overheard a couple of boys talking and they were trying to decide who was the fatest girl in the class, guess who won - ME! I remember being crushed and started the "starvation" diet then. I wouldn't eat, I had no clue about healthy eating, my parents were both overweight, so I just assumed I looked normal.

Anyhow, that started years of yo yo dieting for me, I am now 40 years old and finally learning to eat healthy, I exercise now - 5 or 6 days a week, and I focus on my health. Its not easy, so in order to get my exercise in, I have to get up at 5 am to exercise, I have too many duties in the evening time, so I get up earlier in the morning so I can exercise.

Just wanted to drop you a line and say welcome to the world of Banding. Its not always easy, but is so worth it!

[badonkadonkbutt 1]

Thanks! I am not banded yet, but will be in July/August. I can't wait. I am really trying to give it my all and part of that was coming to terms with why I am overweight.....it is due to the choices I have made. Now I am ready to make better choices.

[niecyrenee 2]

Lee Ann--:hug: You have went through so much but you have proved yourself to be a strong women capable of handling whatever life throws your way. You are an inspiration!

My story: I have been overweight my entire life. I can't ever remember being thin and the pictures confirm this. I was always teased as a child about being overweight and it hurt but I didn't ever know what to do about it. I was always an active kid/teenager. I played sports and often for fun, my friends and I would play volleyball, softball, etc. A lot of things that happened in my childhood had me feeling unworthy and therefore, I turned to food. My parents divorced when I was two and my dad never had time for us. He was rarely around and I saw my mom struggle to keep us going but she always did. She always sacrificed for my sister and I and I often felt quilty because she went without. I began worrying at a young age about money and such.

My mom remarried when I was six but that isn't a happy story either. My then step-dad turned out to be one sick individual and thankfully when my mom found out, she divorced him quick. He sexually abused my sister for years and did it to me once when I was 13 and I told the world. I wanted him punished but the justice system isn't all it's cracked up to be. He admitted it but got a slap on the hands; nothing but probabtion. This began my lengthy bout with depression. The older I got, the deeper my depression got. I married my high school sweetheart when I was 19 and he was and is fantastic to me but I was never happy because I couldn't get passed my childhood.

During my depression times, I ate and ate and ate. Anything to stop the pain. It never stopped the pain but it did pack on the pounds. Finally about 3 or 4 years ago, with a lot of help, my depression ended. I felt this huge weight lifted off my shoulders and I couldn't have done it without my wonderful hubby. Unfortunately, at this point, I had packed on a lot of weight and couldn't seem to get it off.

I was so shocked when I went to the seminar that my doctor held because until that night, I had no idea I weighed as much as I did. It was an eye-opener. :cry To make a very long story somewhat short, I decided to get the band and got dh on board and it's the best decision I've ever made...well, short of marrying dh of course! I had to deal with what was going on inside of me before I could get serious about losing weight. I would never be able to do this if I was still battling depression.

Best of luck to you and I'm sure whatever your journey brings you, you will be strong and come out a better person!

[kaylali 0]

Hey, my story started in 98' I had always been super athletic and even voted for having the greatest legs. go figure:)so staying fit was a way of life. I married my highschool sweetheart and had a baby. When my daughter was a few weeks old my husband was killed in a car accident. Here I was young with noway to provide for myself and my new little baby. I was from a small town and felt like all eyes were on me, that was a time I wanted to become invisible so that others wernt watching me be on public display as I was going through my greiving process, and then when I choose to begin dating and picking up the peices there were those who thought it was to soon. I wanted to just not have any reason to stand out. I did move away about 2m after the accident and jumped into schooling full time and the rest of the time trying to be a new mommy to my daughter who had lost her daddy and now preety much her mommy to. The guilt was overwhelming to me. I new that I had to do it though, I worked my butt off and did so great in school ( what a distraction from the real sadness in my life) but I have to say at this time things were still good, and I did have a lot to be greatful for considering. Looking back I think my baby knew and understood that me going back to school was the only way. She was so great, she always just loved her sitter and was NEVER sick, and was just a little rock even at that age. ( her and I will always have an extra special bond) anyways back to the weight thing. So after schooling I moved to a new state where I had never been befor and started working, and later open a buisness that is doing great today. I did remarry a fantastic guy and have 2 more kids that are the greatest. But through 2 more pregnancies and my old habits of being an emotional eater. Everytime I was sad, happy, moody, in my pregnacies I ate, ha ha anyone knows that during a pregnancy you feel every feeling so intensly almost everyday of your prego. so needless to say I packed on the weight and going back to being athletic I worked out hard and didnt loose much. so here I have sat for yrs at this weight of 212, and I am finally ready to tackle this issue in my life once and for all, I know that it will be hard, but I can handle it after all else I have done. I want the way I look represent how I feel inside. I am so happy and successful. I want to be able to go back to that small town and people to be able to say that I did it!

[kaylali 0]

you have been through so much, and it sounds like you have been blessed with so much strength! I know you will loose this weight and check that off the list of huge accomplishments:) its kinda funny to me to think of my own reasons for becoming like this and as huge as they are I read other peoples stories and think wow, I dont know how I would handle it. But I do think that we all have somthing in common and that is that we are all stronger than we think. We can, and will come out on top, in obsticles in our lives. Good luck!

There are a few moments in time that stick out in my mind that really hit home that contributed to where I am at today. The first time I truly identified my weight as an issue was when I was 9. I can remember my dying great grandmother looking at me and telling me to go step on the scale, I did. I don't remember what I weighed, but it was more than her. She mocked me in front of my mom, siblings (who didn't have a weight problem), dad, grandma, and great grandfather. She was dying of breast cancer at the time and passed away shortly after this incident. It made me feel awful and that was the first time I started paying attention to what I ate and tried to lose weight. I continued to be chubby. I yoyoed back and forth through highschool. At one point when I was 17, I lost all of my excess weight and weighed 150lbs. I looked great. I was pretty much starving myself and working out 3 plus hours a day to do it. I was not doing it the healthy way. Worse, I started hurting the people around me. I became 'stuck up' you could say; just what I despised all through school....snobs.....I was one of them. I realized this and tried to get back on track with my friends and myself....and starting gaining weight. As soon as my senior year came up, I started to really gain the weight back and by graduation was chubby once again. After high school, I pretty much stayed the same weight until I got married, at a young age I might add, at 20. I had been dating my husband since I was 13 and new he was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. We got married while I was in college and things became very tough. I was working full time, going to college full time, had a long commute to school, and we were falling behind on bills fast. Then I became pregnant just three months after we were married. I continued with school until our first child was born in June. Once she was born (I was a junior in college at this time) I decided to take a break from school to be home with her. I began working a second shift job so that I could be home with her during the day and my husband with her at night. I felt closed off from the rest of the world. I was living about an hour away from my friends and family and never saw my husband. My onlys source of social interaction was a child. I began eating to help pass the time and help forget about the financial strain we were going through. This went on for about two years when I became pregnant with my second child. I know this sounds terrible, but I was crushed. I was just about to start back to school to finish my degree when I found out. I found out I was pregnant with him at 6 weeks and at 9 weeks I suffered from a chorionic hemmorage. I ended up on bed rest from 9 weeks until I was almost 8 months along. I decided to go back to school anyway, online, and finished my degree through the University of Phoenix. At this point, I was too consumed in school to worry about food. After I had my son, things went back to somewhat normalcy when just 8 weeks later, I found out I was pregnant again......AGAIN! (you would think by now we would have figured out what was causing this....) I was not happy at all. My last pregnancy had ruined us financially, my marriage was falling apart, now I had new school loans to deal with and another baby on the way. Luckily this pregnancy went well and my third child was born. That is when my weight issues began to soar again. With three kids at home I was back to working full time.

And my husband.....he is something. I love him (or the old him) dearly, but his actions or lack there of through all of this has caused me to lose my respect for him. While I was going to school, he wouldn't help me. He watched me take care of our two very young children while pregnant with the third staying up to all hours of the night doing homework. When I asked him for help with the house or our horses, he was too busy helping his friends and family out. It crushed me, but I felt stuck and just kept plugging along. Where was I going to go with three kids by myself over an hour away from all my family? Financially I couldn't afford to do anything so I stayed. I think overall it made me stronger. I stopped relying on him and starting relying on myself and myself only to get things done. I have never had much family support or much of a support circle around me anyway and have adjusted to that, I was just hoping that he would be different, he isn't. My eating increased to deal with the pain of not having him to support me, therefore my weight increased. About two years ago when our youngest was less than a year, I confronted him about all of this and told him that I don't need him anymore and hated him for how he treated me since we had been married. We attempted marriage counseling but he felt it was stupid, so I just pulled away. I started to focus on myself, my kids, and our health and made him an afterthought, just as he had done to me. He didn't like this and has tried to wiggle his way back into the picture. Things are good for a while, then bad. I try hard not to let it bother me but it does and it should. Now I am trying to lose the weight not only for my health, but for my mental well being.

The weight represents to me a person that caves under pressure, a weakness. I am not weak. I have three kids under age 5, I put myself through college, have a nice home, take care of all our bills, raise horses, and am a self-reliant person. I want my self image to match my successes, not my failures as I feel it does now. I want to share my life with someone who feels the same way, if it isn't my husband then I am preparing myself to move on. First, I have to conquer this battle.

Thanks for listening to me rattle on. I have read many stories everyone has shared here and they have helped me make this decision.....I wanted to share mine, maybe there is someone else out there that has been down a path like mine. If anyone else would like to add to this thread their story, I would love to be a sounding board. I almost feel like a weight has been lifted. Until I found this forum, I have never had a support group around me. I truly feel like I can turn to you guys to help me get through this. Thanks!!

[badonkadonkbutt 1]

NiecyRenee, thanks for sharing! I can't even imagine and am proud of you for overcoming everything you have been through! Look at your success now! 103lbs! That is incredible. Hats off too you!!!!

[badonkadonkbutt 1]

Kaylali, just having people listen is making a huge difference to me! I have never had that before and it is nice for a change! The best part out of all this is finding myself. I have never taken the time to identify who I really am......I am finally doing that and it feels good!