onthefencejenny 204 Posted October 1, 2014 Okay for all you single ladies out there in wondering how you deal with dating and when you tell someone about your surgery? I was sleeved July 25 and am down 55lbs so far, but still have at least 100lbs to go! But I've recently joined the dating world again and I'm wondering how to deal with going out for supper or drinks with someone, and how soon to tell them that I'm shrinking and have all these limitations! TIA! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KayleeC14 159 Posted October 1, 2014 I might be the weird one out...but I am completely honest with telling men who I go on dates with that I have chose this option. Majority of the dates I have been on the guys where really nice and sweet about it, I have only been on one date that ended sour because he ran his mouth about his own agenda about WLS which was very negative (cocktail was in his lap by the end of the date). I am now dating somebody who is in awe over what I have done and still striving to do, and is a totally awesome support as well. And I have even inspired him as well. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mick 99 Posted October 1, 2014 I was on a date last night. She ordered a chicken fried steak, baked potato, steamed broccoli and Texas cheese toast. I ate about one fifth of her chicken fried steak or about two fingers almost and a couple of bites of her baked potato and a few small broccoli tops. Stuffed! Had a good time! My wife is awesome! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
haleytrim 244 Posted October 1, 2014 Hey Mick.. Sounds like you and your wife ar both keepers. God Bless on your journey. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CowgirlJane 14,260 Posted October 6, 2014 I know you didn't ask... but I wouldn't date yet. I know that sounds kinda weird, but losing massive weight creates all sorts of changes. I had a lot to loss - 160# plus - and I need to focus on it to get there. My friends and i joke - dating is fattening! I regained 5# last summer when i did start dating. (I have since lost it and a bit more, so no worries, but just a word of caution) I am almost 3 years out and I really dont like to go on big dinner dates even now. I do not choose to tell casual dates about my WLS but i do tell them that i need to eat light to maintain my weight and health. The guys I prefer totally get that and it has generally not been a problem since they tend to be fit/lean types. I often eat a fancy small dinner salad with perhaps a shrimp skewer... I like to order ala carte or off the appetizer menu. If it is with a close friend, we share meals, but a date I wouldn't do that. I love small quantities of wonderful food. I did see someone this last spring for a few weeks who was a food pusher and I kinda realized that was one of many reasons to not keep seeing him. He made me feel uncomfortable if i didn't eat a big meal with him. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bikrchk 1,313 Posted October 6, 2014 I'm typically up front within 1 or 2 dates, as I am with most people about the fact I've had WLS. Funnily enough, I ended up on a date a few weeks ago with a guy who said "his thermostat" was broken since surgery... "Oh, didn't I tell you I had 85 % of my stomach removed"? I said nope, and I hadn't told you that I had 90% of mine removed! We LOL'd about it. Date never went anywhere, but that was one I won't son forget! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hadouni 301 Posted October 6, 2014 I was seeing someone a little while back and I told him pretty quick - I think the second time we went out. We were having a big "this is my life" sort of discussion. He took it in stride and told me I looked great. Every so often if I got full extra fast he'd say "that's it" and I'd say "you know how I eat" and he'd sort-of smile a little and say "I know how you eat" and that was the end of it. The acceptance and non-issue reaction from him was appreciated by me. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Oregondaisy 2,021 Posted October 10, 2014 I always tell them after I know it's getting serious. I've been sleeved for 5 years now and I didn't tell my bf that I was with for the first 3 years for at least 6 months. I just avoided going to dinner at places where I knew they served huge portions. I always said I had a late lunch. I can eat quite a bit of salad, so like CCJ said, I order salad and usually they will add chicken or shrimp on top. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Missjaqui 30 Posted November 7, 2014 I definitely date, as often as I can, ever since the surgery I have a newfound confidence that I felt that I had to share with everyone. Over time that has gotten less, probably due to the extra skin I have now. However I still date, and frequently. Usually I tell guys if I feel it is relative to the conversation or something that we are doing or going to do. Sometimes it just comes up because I barely eat and its just not normal. Most people are very supportive, I have met very few naysayers. What I had the hardest time adjusting to when it came to dating was getting hit on and approached by men or friends that knew me before. It felt like a slap in the face at first, but I did a lot of thinking and I must say a lot. With some I ended up telling them to ef off due to horrible attitudes and no attraction and such. With others I had a great time, and found at times meaningful connections. I was even able to get past hangups I had about intimacy, sex and relationships. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mel13 9 Posted November 11, 2014 When I get back into the dating scene I honestly don't want to go out for dinner and drinks. I wants to do something non-food and fun! And I think it will depend on the person at the moment when I decide to tell them. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
duooptichrome 32 Posted November 11, 2014 Lol!!! People I didn't read this before posting my question! Sorry!!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites