Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual & Transgendered Bandsters

[silentfades 0]

Marc in NYC here

I wanted to say hello to you folks. I am encouraged by your bravery and openess that is so well shared in your posts. Thank you.

I have decided to have a band -- will be self pay and hopefully will have it financially together in a couple of months (sooner if I my loan is approved !!!!!)

:faint:-------> a dramatic swoon while fanning myself as opening the banks decision letter !

I have a question -- well honestly -- lots and lots of questions

-- -- Thank you for the patience.

Has anyone had significant problems post surgery?

I will be doing this alone -- was anyone afraid going to have this done at the time of surgery -- (This is playing a mind game on my masculiniity issues to be honest. The whole idea if I was "man" enough then I would not have any fear and the other if I was man enough I would not be in this situation. I realize it is old tapes and not a valid truth) but has anyone else feel or have felt similar ?

Anyone aware of MDs in the states who do lapbands for a reasonalbe fee?

I checked with NYU and they want 26,000. A bit much for me like way too much.

Has anyone post op become or develop issues of anorexia or eating depravation ?

Post op how does this affect a person sexually ?

Is the port obvious ?

Does it become more obvious the more weight you loose?

Can it be felt while another person is touching you?

Does the port hurt in general or during exercise of if it is touched ?

Can pressure be put on the port ?

Due to the wt loss has anyone noted a increase in sex drive ?

(a loss of fat decreases estrogen thus an increase in testosterone)

If this is an incease in testosterone has anyone noted any hair loss ?

Despite successful wt loss does anyone still see themselves as fat ?

How do you cope with others reaction to your wt loss ?

Do you share with others you had a band or not ?

Does anyone continue or go to OA / Weight Watchers or a band group for ongoing support ?

I know I will have excess skin - how do you deal with that and how has it been with others who your being sexual with ?

Anyone here in NYC that attends a or knows of a band support group?

I am sorry about all the questions and if are overwhelming --- um

you can um blame my mother--

(OPPS -- sorry mom if your reading this ... )

She always told me to "shut up" as I ask to many questions lol lol

Look forward to getting to know you all and be known by you all in time via this chat room.

Stay well and keep up the recovery.

Again thanks

Marc

Silentfades@aol.com

[OH Juli 15]

Marc

HI!

Your questions are fine. So you've thought about this for a little bit, huh?

Let's see, I'm nearly 5 months out from surgery. My hair is thinning, but that's normal from the surgery, apparently. It's supposed to come back. My fingers are crossed.

The excess skin will get cut off and donated to science. I'll have plastic surgery when I get to goal.

As for sex, I'm partnered, and she loved me at 300+, she loves me as I lose. But the skin isn't sexy. However, the new found stamina, flexibility and zeal makes up for any distractions it may cause. My drive has increased, but it's always been high. Poor GF.

I've not had any eating disorder issues. Some people replace food addiction with other addictions like sex with strangers or shopping.

I don't do WW or OA, I come here for support. I like the price tag here.

There's a straight girl with cool politics on here JulieNYC, who might be a good resource for you.

The port isn't obvious. I can feel it if I push. I've only thought one time I was hurting it while exercising. I was doing an incline leg press and my fat rolls were all bunchy and my iPod was hitting the same area...don't fret about the port.

I react with "awe shucks" and "thank you!" when people exclaim about my weight. If someone has serious, "how you doing it" questions I'll talk to them otherwise I'm vague. When dumb asses ask "how much have your lost?" I tell them I don't share that number! I tell them the percentage of what I have lost to what I want to lose. Like now I'm at just under 40%. And if I'm feeling really playful and someone asks, "Are you losing weight?" I ask them, "what does it look like?" I might twirl or something at the same time. (Femme lesbian here.)

The boys might be able to give you some gender specific insights too. Fellas?

Ask more....

[AshevilleEddie 14]

Hmm, that's from some commercial, just can't remember which one. Anyhoo, here we go! Please bear in mind any subjective answers are from what my DH and I have experienced personally...

Has anyone had significant problems post surgery?

Nope.

I will be doing this alone -- was anyone afraid going to have this done at the time of surgery -- (This is playing a mind game on my masculiniity issues to be honest. The whole idea if I was "man" enough then I would not have any fear and the other if I was man enough I would not be in this situation. I realize it is old tapes and not a valid truth) but has anyone else feel or have felt similar ?

I was terrified. DH acted like he was getting his hair cut.

Anyone aware of MDs in the states who do lapbands for a reasonalbe fee? I checked with NYU and they want 26,000. A bit much for me like way too much.

Our doc is around $18,000, but we're in Florida. Of course, if you came down here you'd most likely have a nice Gay couple to take care of you for a few days.

Has anyone post op become or develop issues of anorexia or eating

depravation?

I think everyone deals with "head hunger" to some degree. I do more than Sean (my DH). I personally don't think anorexia would be much of an issue, especially if you've never dealt with it before.

Post op how does this affect a person sexually?

More/better positions!

Is the port obvious?

Not at all. Sean is about 20 lbs from his goal weight and you can't see it at all.

Does it become more obvious the more weight you loose?

Nope. See above. It does however become easier to find if you're feeling for it.

Can it be felt while another person is touching you?

Yes, if you know where it is. But it's not real obvious. If you were just fooling around with someone who didn't know it was there, they may or may not even notice.

Does the port hurt in general or during exercise of if it is touched?

I had some port-area tenderness for a couple of months. If I overexercise, the area may be a little more sore than the surrounding areas are.

Can pressure be put on the port?

I wouldn't recommend getting punched in the gut, but normal pressure is not an issue, even increased pressure during sex in certain positions doesn't bother either of us.

Due to the wt loss has anyone noted a increase in sex drive?

I haven't yet. Sean did, but it was only for a couple of weeks. So sad...:cry

If this is an incease in testosterone has anyone noted any Hair loss?

Nope. Keep your Protein intake up and that won't be an issue.

Despite successful wt loss does anyone still see themselves as fat?

I'm not to that point in my loss yet. Sean still does a bit, but it lessens with every pound.

How do you cope with others reaction to your wt loss?

Smile and say thank you.

Do you share with others you had a band or not?

Depends on who it is, but it's kinda like my orientation; I don't wear rainbow feather boas to work but I do keep a family photo on my desk at work and whoever sees it sees it.

Does anyone continue or go to OA/Weight Watchers or a band group for ongoing support?

Just monthly support meetings at our Weight Loss Center and all my peeps here! :biggrin1:

I know I will have excess skin - how do you deal with that and how has it been with others who your being sexual with?

Well, Sean has lived with the excess skin and the fat behind it for almost a decade. He knows that I'll have surgery to remove it when I'm done.

Anyone here in NYC that attends a or knows of a band support group?

No idea, sorry.

I am sorry about all the questions and if are overwhelming --- um

you can um blame my mother--

Yes, it's all her fault. :guess

She always told me to "shut up" as I ask to many questions

Well, shut up then. :heh: Just kidding! Ask all the questions you need or want to. That's what we're here for. I think you'll find this thread in particulary to be very supporting...

And BTW, :welcome:!! Glad to have you aboard!

[AshevilleEddie 14]

HAHAHA!! Juli, we were probably typing at the same time!

[OH Juli 15]

Eddie

Two great minds...

BTW, Kity aka Pamela and I talked last night and are planning on getting coffee in P-Town next week. I just wanted to say thanks for putting this thread up, I would have never had the opportunity otherwise.

Now, if she or her partner are psycho and we come up missing, you'll be fully blamed! HA!

[AshevilleEddie 14]

One more little thing this morning. I have a wedding reception to plan...mine! Sean changed his mind about getting married in Canada. So he got down on the one proverbial knee last night! WOO HOO! We're gonna be legal after all!!

[Lucy 0]

OMG Eddie! Congratulations! That is so exciting!

Marc, welcome. I'll take a shot at some of your questions:

Has anyone had significant problems post surgery?

Not yet. I'm 8 weeks out and feeling great.

I will be doing this alone -- was anyone afraid going to have this done at the time of surgery -- (This is playing a mind game on my masculiniity issues to be honest. The whole idea if I was "man" enough then I would not have any fear and the other if I was man enough I would not be in this situation. I realize it is old tapes and not a valid truth) but has anyone else feel or have felt similar ?

I was scared to NOT have the surgery. My husband was much more worried than I was. It was a very straightforward procedure and I felt fine in a few days. I had a lot of gas pain for the first few days, but not everyone experiences that.

Anyone aware of MDs in the states who do lapbands for a reasonalbe fee?

I checked with NYU and they want 26,000. A bit much for me like way too much.

I paid $15,000 in Miami. There are a lot of reasonably priced doctors in the States. I wouldn't go for the cheapest doctor you can find, but I think you can find someone good for less than $26k.

Has anyone post op become or develop issues of anorexia or eating depravation ?

My eating habits have certainly changed, but I don't feel deprived or anorexic. I can only eat so much, so I try to make it count. The hardest thing for me seems to be that when I am not at home and I need to grab something quick to eat on the go, there are not a lot of healthy options. I don't think you will have that problem in NYC, there are so many more food-on-the-go options there.

Post op how does this affect a person sexually ?

I haven't lost enough weight yet to feel a libido increase, but I definitely feel more confident about my body.

Is the port obvious ?

Except for the scar, no.

Does it become more obvious the more weight you loose?

I don't know. Ask me in 6 months.

Can it be felt while another person is touching you?

I think if that person really tries to feel it, they will. But it's not like I have an obvious alien growth under my skin that would freak someone out.

Does the port hurt in general or during exercise of if it is touched ?

My port is still a little sensitive. But I think that will ease up over time.

Can pressure be put on the port ?

Right now, no. It's uncomfortable for me to have pressure on the port. But again, I think this is something that will change over time.

Due to the wt loss has anyone noted a increase in sex drive ?

(a loss of fat decreases estrogen thus an increase in testosterone)

Not yet. But I'm sure it will happen :Banane20:

If this is an incease in testosterone has anyone noted any Hair loss ?

I haven't had any hair loss. Part of that is that I am very careful to eat at least 50-60 grams of Protein a day.

Despite successful wt loss does anyone still see themselves as fat ?

Well, I still am fat! But I hope that when I've lost more weight I will see myself for what I am.

How do you cope with others reaction to your wt loss ?

I haven't told anyone about my surgery and I don't intend to. I am losing pretty slowly and when people comment on my loss, I tell them that I am exercising more, eating more protein, and less of everything else. All of that is true, it's just not the whole picture. But I don't disclose many parts of my personal life to others, so I just think of this as another thing that nobody needs to know about.

Do you share with others you had a band or not ?

Nope. None of their beeswax.

Does anyone continue or go to OA / Weight Watchers or a band group for ongoing support ?

Group support is great for some people, but it's not for me. This is where I get support if I need it.

Anyone here in NYC that attends a or knows of a band support group?

What OHJuli said.

Good luck and let us know what you decide!

[OH Juli 15]

Lucy

Not to be contrary, but I didn't notice the Hair loss until about 4 months out. I eat about 100 grams of Protein daily too. I'm not too worried about it...well maybe a little.

I was told it could be a reaction to the surgery not what I am eating. My nails have a funky ridge in them too about half way up the nail bed. I expect that's from the surgery too.

[Lucy 0]

Good point, Juli. I haven't ruled anything out yet since I'm still a new bandster. I've heard of people having their first PB a year after surgery, so I definitely am aware that things change all the time.

Trust me, after spending some time in R&R, your comment wasn't even CLOSE to contrary!!

I'm off to New York tomorrow. Hope everyone has a good weekend and I'll see you next week!

[Chris61 0]

Congradulations Eddie on the up coming marriage.

Chris

Pre band

[cheri52 1]

I think you most likely found a place here with us. I know I have:D . Everyone pretty much said it all, I will just add that most of the best places to get it done offer, actually require, you to go to a free mandatory information session. Most of these questions are answered there. I went to the Lahey Clinic in Burlington, Mass. they might be less expensive than NYC, but I really don't know as insurance covered it. they would be a lot closer than Mexico! I asked about the post showing after you get skinny and there is a lower profile one that they can switch out later if you find it a problem. I wanted it the 1st time but they have their reasons. It's a little harder to find and fill so they don't want it till after you lose. But I look at it as a LOT less offensive than all the humps, bumps and rolls I currently have, I mean really!!! lol.

no, IT dosen't hurt now, they try to place it where it's out of the way most of the time. it hurt more than the band placement at time of surgery. BUT , it's very "do-able" and they give you great pain meds if you need them!! I was completely off them 3 days later.

I haven't told any one other that my wife,naturally!, and just a select few at work that I had to in order to get the time off. It's not like the bypass, you will not lose so fast that you have to explain other than you are REALLY trying hard and eating less, all true!

Anorexia.........I don't think so!!! If that were ever a problem I know I would't be here lol !

No regrets :whoo:(and no Hair loss )

Eddie and Sean :canada: way to go boys , ain't it grand! :love: set the date yet? Glen and I are very happy for you!

[mgh1965 0]

First... Congrats Eddie & Sean - love & kisses from your twins down under XXXX

Marc, Welcome ! $26000...what a joke !!!! It cost me 5000 australian dollars.... (if not insured it's 14000) come to Aussie Land & have it done ! You can stay here !!!! & Fills are free here once all the surgery is paid for. Also my doc says that if you take fish oil every day - you will have no Hair loss.< /p>

Just got home from dinner & tonight I've had my first serious blockage.

YUK...it's awful. Just had a bit of squid & oh my boy is it stuck.

Had soda Water & a cup of tea but it's all just coming back up. Better ease off soon.

Marc, since I started the whole process I've lost about 16 kg, (i think thats about 35 pounds)... but have only been 2 & a half weeks post first fill.

It's the best decision I've ever made & keep in touch with everyone here - they are are great help !

Take care everyone & have a great weekend especially you Pam & Juli !!!

XX

[Bozlee 0]

Hi Marc,

Thanks for asking all of those questions. I have been wanting to get the surgery done for some time now. I have finally got the money together and I will begin seeing the Dr. Grossbard this week. I am really looking forward to it.

BTW...congratulations Eddie and Sean!!

[AshevilleEddie 14]

Hey family,

Just had to go pick up a couple pairs of shorts and a few shirts. We took s shitload of clothes to our WLC for their clothes closet. I've been buying $10 Walmart khakis and the like to get me through, but we went to Kohl's this afternoon as it's pretty close to the house. (Backtrack for a moment here - it's time to shop for school clothes so I had taken DD to pick up a few things last night and found myself a $5 pair of Dockers jeans at Ross so I wanted a shirt that actually fits to go with them). DS had gone and gotten most of his stuff today but still needed socks and underwear. So we all piled in the car and trucked it up to Kohl's. Well, not only did they have a shirt to go with my new pants, but they also had almost everything else in the store on sale, a lot of it on clearance. In addition to the shirt I went there to buy, I found 2 pair of shorts and 3 other shirts. We won't even talk about everything Sean found - ALL of his was on clearance. PLUS, it sales tax holiday week here in FL! Talk about cheap! Anyway, the real purpose of this post is the size of the shorts. Are you ready for this?? First understand that the smallest pants I ever remember buying myself were in high school and they were 40s. One of the shorts is a 38 and the other is a 36! And those 40s I was so excited about getting on a week or so ago are actually quite comfy now... Woo hoo! :bounce:

Juli and Pamela, we all want to hear about P-town! We'll have to see who's around when we head north next spring. Maybe we can meet up with someone from the group too! And speaking of next spring, thanks to everyone for the wedding congrats! There will be a little reception down here afterward, so if anyone wants to truck it to FL you'll all be more than welcome! God knows it'd be cheap to feed you!!! :heh:

Love you all...

[michiganer 0]

I just wanted to join this thread and say its awesome. I had no idea there was a GLBT thread on here! I guess I haven't been paying attention!

Well, my name is Trisha and I live near Orlando, FL. I am 26 years old, 5'5 325lbs. I have hypothyroidism, polycycstic ovaries and insulin resistance. I call them 'the big three'. All three of them help me gain weight. Don't get me wrong, I am very responsible because poor eating habits/lack of excercise etc but it really sucks to have your own body working against you! I have done tons of diets my years. As soon as I hit puberty, I started gaining.

I have been working on getting my insurance company Cigna to pay for my lap-band. I just completed my 6-month diet program (WHO-HOO!), have been cleared by the psychologist (and people told me I was nuts!), got 5 years of weight histories and am simply waiting on a letter of medical necessity from my doc.

I will be hitting these boards a lot for support so please pray for me and wish me good luck when I fax all this crap to Cigna for approval!