so lost...

[makemyownluck 785]

Well, I'm about 16 months post op and am pregnant.

I recently turned 34. At that time, I had a bit of a melt down because I have no children and thought if I didn't have at least one before I was 35, I'd never have one at all. It was a tough pill to swallow. Less than a month after that meltdown, I realize that I am pregnant.

My life situation is not ideal for being pregnant, but in spite of this, I'm thrilled.

Here's my short list of obstacles:

1) my partner is married. He and I have been living together for a while, he has a 6 year old daughter with his wife, and they have been separated for over 3 years. Nonetheless, neither of them have been able to afford an attorney or agree on a settlement so they are, in fact, still married.

2) I'm uninsured. He's uninsured. Even if he had health insurance, I'm not his wife, so it's not likely that he could insure me anyway.

3) I've applied for public aid and got the temporary coverage, however I'm 99.999999% sure that I'm just over the income requirement to receive the actual coverage. I've got my first appointment on October 25. My temporary coverage will end October 31.

I am so very worried about how I can afford to be pregnant - NOT TO MENTION afford to have a child. My circumstances aren't the greatest right now, but on the other side, I'm incredibly happy and feeling blessed to have a baby. I am really excited to be a mom!

I haven't seen my surgeon in over a year because I lost my insurance shortly after being sleeved. I haven't seen my normal GP for the same reason, and my GP is a family physician so I never really have a gyne/ob because he could do my yearly paps. I feel like I don't have anyone to turn to.

I'm taking OTC prenatals in place of my normal Multivitamin. Do I still take Vitamin D and B12? is Biotin safe? I think I'm okay as far as my diet, but I'm concerned with what Vitamins I should be taking... any advice until I can see a doctor?

[BeagleLover 1,020]

As far as Vitamins go, Bariatric Advantage was recommended to me by my NUT as the best. They also have a Calcium CITRATE caramel chewable to take twice a day. I think it's really tasty.

For insurance, could you afford Obamacare? Hopefully, your public coverage will be within the income requirement.

I had my babies at 38 and 42 years old. My daughters have been so much fun and the highlight of my life! This is waaay cool for you! Congratulations!

[Miss Mac 6,262]

Congratulations! What I read from your letter is that this baby will be loved, loved, loved and received with joy no matter how challenging your circumstance are. What has Daddy offered to do? How are your people responding to the news? Have you told your doctor yet? He may be able to offer you some hope or help. Please do not go the distance without prenatal care. I do not know the answer to your insurance and financial questions, but hopefully some post-op new mommies can offer advice. Would you be a good candidate for some Obamacare?

[makemyownluck 785]

Obamacare MIGHT be an option, but those premiums are so high, as are the deductibles. It's not exactly an "affordable" option.. especially with the timing. Open enrollment isn't until November. I think those plans don't start til January 1st.

I'll be around 19 weeks in by that point!

I'm hoping for a miracle that I can get Medicaid, but I really think I make too much money to qualify. Ho hum.

This baby will be received with love. Of this, I am certain.

My partner is still in shock... he isn't upset about it, but he's not happy either. He's currently fighting with his wife over when he can see his daughter, so I think that's getting in the way of him seeing this as a good thing. He's going through some tough BABY MAMA DRAMA with his wife currently. I think he just needs more time. Time to absorb the news. He loves babies though! He just became an uncle to twins last week and he was super thrilled! And he really is an excellent and loving parent to his daughter.

I have told a handful of friends, but that's it. I am waiting to tell my parents because I already know my mom is going to give me a lecture and ask me a million questions related to me not having insurance/not being able to afford it, and I don't want to have that conversation until I know what's what.

Thanks for the support everyone!

[Gibble 28]

Check for free clinics in your area, I went to one here in Wisconsin for 2 years when I had no insurance and although I was over their income requirement I only had to pay $ 10. for each visit.

[JamieLogical 8,727]

What about state aid? I live in New York State and I know they offer some aid above the income levels allowed by Medicaid specifically for pregnant women and children. Your state might do something similar?

[Miss Mac 6,262]

Married or not, he is responsible for everything your baby needs until the age of 18. You could also look into what the pro se divorce laws are in your state. He may be able to file without a lawyer, although kids and property are complications if both parties are not in agreement.

Before we met, my second ex-husband (not that I am that hard on men) was separated from his wife for nine years because neither one wanted to fund a lawyer.............just sayin' because you may have a long wait on your hands, and it will show you where you really stand.

I do wish good things for you. Keep your chin up, and started checking resources suggested for you. Something's got to give. And as for the lecture, if your feet still work, leave. I think that since you are having your first child, someone in the family will be happy for you.

[bwaydiva 4]

You can apply for Obamacare any time you have a "life changing" event... Like becoming pregnant. Best of luck to you and your baby.

[par1959 470]

Sounds as if your mother has thought this through.

[makemyownluck 785]

"life changing event" includes HAVING a baby, not getting pregnant. I looked into it.

[rholt35 32]

Well congrats to you.. I know in the end it will all work out ????