Am I selfish for wanting bypass?

[mamamia86 44]

Hi all I know I have seen this question before so I apologize in advance for asking the same question but I wanted some opinions in relation to my own personal situation. I know only I can decide what surgery is best for me but here is everything about me…

I am 28 years old and have a BMI of 43, I'm 4'11" and about 215lbs. I have been trying to have surgery for about 3 years now. About a year ago I was a week away from having the sleeve surgery but my BMI at this time was also only 40. When my surgery got cancelled only a week before my scheduled surgery date I was devastated and gained more weight!

The surgeons I see are a practice of multiple surgeons and last year the surgeon I saw pretty much told me he would do the sleeve but not bypass on me because I do not yet have any significant medical conditions, not diabetic, no high blood pressure…etc. I was alright with this decision.

I am afraid that if I have the sleeve surgery and do not get results I expect I will regret not getting bypass when I had the opportunity as I am sure this opportunity to have surgery will not present itself again.

I have a sweet tooth and at first that was one of the reasons I wanted sleeve, to be able to enjoy a bite of something sweet, but as I have progressed in this journey I have realized that I do not need that, and intact I may need bypass to insure I do get dumping if I were to try to eat something sweet.

I also have acid reflux, at night mostly when I lay down. I have to lay on the left side. This is not every night but I would say about 4 nights a week.

As I'm sure you can tell I am leaning towards bypass. However here are some other considerations. I have three children and am afraid of the greater risk of complications that can come with bypass. Sometimes I feel like I am being selfish trying to have bypass when I do not have any medical conditions yet, but I know I am only on the path to this. Last time I met with that surgeon he told me I was pretty much having surgery for a better quality of life and that the sleeve surgery could do this for me. However it has always been hard for me to lose weight, in high school I was a varsity soccer player and a cheerleader and still a size 9, I have always been a little bit bigger than everyone else, even though I am only 4'11" and I just want to be super successful and I feel like I have the best chance at that by having the bypass surgery.

Thank you for your feedback, support and advice.

Mia

[latido 178]

This will be the best gift you will give yourself and your family. GERD might get worse with the sleeve or band. GERD vanishes with the bypass. Your weight loss will be permanent, it's kinda hard to con your pouch. You will have no regrets. Regrets are rare, and usually only to those who are adamant about outsmarting their pouch. Well, those people should not have the surgery in the first place.

If you follow the rules ad take your supplements, you will be a healthy new you so quickly. I am three months out today, and I am forever changed.

[revision in TX 38]

I agree...GERD will most likely improve/disappear with bypass while is usually reported as being worse with the gastric sleeve.

I also suffer from a severe sweet tooth and LapBand was not successful for me.

With bypass, I have been able to be completely satisfied with minimal sweets AND - should I choose to over-indulge, suffer the pain of dumping and/or hypoglycemic rebound...which serves as an excellent behavior modification tool!!!

I confirm the other posts here that you are NOT selfish for wishing to be a happier, healthier YOU! That will make you a better mom, friend, spouse, etc. so don't feel guilty or be pressured into what anyone else wants.

Best Wishes in your journey!! Please keep us posted.

[smiley922 447]

Mamamia86, you have described me physically to a T, except add 20 plus years and I have had high blood pressure and sleep apnea for years, and was diagnosed with diabetes this spring. I am 4'11 and started this latest weight loss journey at 225. My highest weight ever was 235. I was able to lose 46 pounds before surgery, the diabetes scared the heck out of me, but I want to make it stick this time. I also have had a hiatal hernia for 20 plus years.

My surgeon would only agree to do the bypass, I went in wanting the sleeve, thinking it would not be as drastic. Also I have researched and seems that weight loss can be a lot slower with the sleeve.

I only wanna do this once, and with the research I did, I agree with my surgeon, the bypass is the best option for me.

If I had the opportunity to do this 20 years ago, I would like to think I would make the same choice, instead of rationalizing the less drastic surgery, so I could still have sweets, though I had thought the same thing myself before meeting with the surgeon.

I would think with the info you gave that as long as you follow your doctors plan, (not everyone else's doctor, since they are so varied), you should do very well.

[Alumace 53]

I'm a bit different type 1 diabetic, high blood pressure, under active thyroid I'm 6 ft 2 321lbs at 42 Bmi. Was told to have gastric bypass however if I loose another 25kgs before op I can get sleeve but loosing that in 6 weeks I'm not pushing it.

I would say you are not selfish if you were so am I. I want to loose weight it's just not possible with diet for me with the amount of insulin I'm on and other meds.

So do it and loose weight so you can feel good there's nothing wrong with wanting it.

[Angelyaya5 16]

Hi Mia,

I don't see where selfishness comes into this. You want to feel and look better,and you know that having the surgery

will do both these things.

I am much much older than you and I am 1 week out post-op from the by-pass surgery. No problems encountered and I had diabetes 2 and high blood pressure.

My diabetes is gone, no meds needed and I suspect as I lose the weight my meds may decrease in strength or disappear.

No matter what, I intend to follow the program, and look forward to buying new clothes and become a diva!

[mamamia86 44]

I didn't mean I felt selfish for wanting WLS, I have been wanting it for so long and it has not worked out that I am soooo on board for having weight loss surgery. What I meant was that I felt selfish for wanting to have a riskier surgery (bypass) when I do not have any comorbid conditions. I have always just wanted the sleeve, because I thought it would be enough, but now I want the gastric bypass surgery for the reasons I list before.

[Angelyaya5 16]

Hey Mia,

No need to explain, you just want a better quality of life, nothing wrong with that. If the 86 in your name is your birth year I could be your grandmother. LOL

Have a great day!

[melimo1002 16]

The sleeve can still give u acid reflux issues and the bypass usually doesnt... i do not think u are selfish at all.. u and only u know what u want and need .. i too wanted bypass as i have diabetes and wantes to ensure eating sweets would make me sick so i would stay away from them more and. I have already made the mistake of having a wls i was unsure about when i had the lapband 9 years back. My reflux worsened and i did lose but couldnt get fills any longer due to the reflux complications.. eneded up having gastric bypass on july 29th and so far 44 lbs. Plus my diabetes is under control and i feel womderful. You do what is best for you!!

[Truckerchic 171]

I was on the fence for the year prior to my surgery as to get the sleeve or bypass, my only real health issue was acid reflex but was almost 300 lbs at 5' 2 ..my doctor said it was up to me but because of the reflux bypass would be better, I also wanted the "help" of dumping should I have a weak moment well guess what nothing makes me dump so don't use that as a guide. Surgery no matter which one you get I a great tool but you have to make sure you have all your food demons under control.

Both are really good, I know people who got the sleeve have reached goal and no issues, I know people who have gotten it and still ended up getting the bypass later on. Good luck on making your informed choice but don't feel guilty or like your being selfish it's your body and your life