I know slow & steady wins the race but.....

[MommyMeghan 92]

I keep having to remind myself that I'm not going to magically wake up in the morning and be skinny. My sleeve was done 7/23, I'm 9 weeks out and I've lost a total of 42lbs but only 27 since surgery day. I'm not complaining, this is a reality check for everyone like me who is feeling like it should be faster. I'm averaging 3lbs a week which is fabulous. I'm feeling better, the doctors are pleased. The Dr has said that most of his patients that start out where I was, go slowly. I'm really happy but....

I'm suffering from a case of a rotten Mother In Law. This is a woman who has never approved of me or anything I do, I've never been thin so of course I have that against me, I can't work hard enough, I can't please this woman to save my life. She calls every day. EVERY DAY. She asks questions like "How's your diet going? Are you still losing?" and when I tell her happily about my progress, she responds as if she's disappointed. She knows I had surgery, I didn't hide it from anyone. I told her I can't eat bread, Pasta, rice (my surgeons rules) and she balks. Then when we are at her house she consistently offers me things like Bagels and pancakes. She's not stupid, she has a Master's Degree. She's just evil.

Anyway, everytime I think I'm not doing well, I realize it's her in my head and I remind myself that I'm doing great and what she thinks does not matter. If you have a little person in your head that's keeping you down, don't fall for their tricks. Keep your head up, you can do this. And so can I

[mick 99]

I've only lost 22 lbs post op and we had surgery on the same day so I am jealous.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

Don't let her sabotage you by getting into your head. You have let her in. Now kick her out. Stop answering the phone so much. Be outside or in the tub or cleaning the frig. That is too much for anyone to bear. You need positive feed back not negative. Put it where it belongs. In the trash!

Edited September 24, 2014 by RJ'S/beginning

[NoDramaLlama 38]

You don't owe your mother in law any answer to any question about your health. Next time she asks, just tell her "I'm doing great" and change the subject. In the grand scheme of things, pounds per week now are just a tiny thing compared to having the rest of your life to enjoy being healthier and thinner. As for her offering you bad foods, you should talk to your husband about it. I wouldn't be visiting her if that continued...It sounds like your attitude is just right, stay on that train of thought!

[GummyTummy 154]

Or tell her, you know... you should think about taking my materials and following the same diet, its really healthy and might benefit you. =D

[Forsythia 882]

Oh god, she calls every day? I love my MIL, bit if she called every day is lose my $#!+. Your husband needs to have a talk with her and tell her to chill out.

[BitterSweet* 835]

Everytime she calls, answer and tell her you need about 15 minutes to finish having sex with your husband. Don't allow her to respond and before hanging up, throw in some moans for good measure. She sounds like a total Bish and I would turn every single phone call of hers into something sexual and inappropriate. She'll quit calling. Ole' hatefull ass.

[Thinkingthinner1109 485]

That is exactly why I didn't tell my husbands side of the family! Literally as soon as someone tells her something she picks up the phone to start the phone chain so she can make sure everyone knows your business. And I could just hear the comments....oh she isn't losing very fast....blah, blah, blah. I told my husband under NO circumstances is she to know. He said if you tell her to not say anything she won't. Lol. Yeah I have heard her tell me things like. Oh so and so said not to say anything but I know you won't repeat it so then she tells everything the other person did t want her to tell. Men are blind. He doesn't even know his own mother. Sorry about that it's just the mother in law thing brought out all that. I wouldn't answer the phone either. I out mine on vibrate and say I didn't hear it or I was down stairs doing laundry. Or exercising.

[MichiganChic 3,262]

But what? No "buts" Your statement is so right - it takes time and you are doing great. Enjoy your success, focus on you, and look forward to your very bright future.

I had a mother in law like that, and I do know how hard it is when they insert themselves into your life in a negative way. I felt trapped by it. So, take it from someone who's been there. It's better to separate your goals, objectives and accomplishments from someones else's opinion. There's probably not a lot you can do to change her or what she does and says, you can only change how you respond to her. Take the emotion out of it, and maybe distance yourself a little. Don't visit so often. Don't always answer the phone. Go ahead and accept the bagel, then don't eat it. She might get the message and change her behavior a little.

Either way, you are doing great, and what someone else says does not change the facts!

[LipstickLady 25,682]

People only treat you the way you allow them to treat you.

Why do you answer her calls? Her questions? Why visit her if she makes you unhappy?

I had a brain tumor diagnosed and removed 5 years ago and reflecting back, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. In the 3 weeks between it's diagnosis and removal, I came to the realization that my happiness was 100% my responsibility. I cut all the negative people out of my life. I surrounded myself with people who love me *for me* and support me emotionally. I have no time to be around people who cause me stress and unhappiness. There are far too many people in my life who make me smile and quite honestly, by by keeping company with drama, I was asking for drama.

Cut ties until she can behave. You'll be much better off. It's hard, I know. I cut ties with an in-law myself and I'm way happier for it.

[MommyMeghan 92]

Thank you all for your responses It absolutely helps to have your support. I do my best to avoid answering the phone. I have 3 children, her only 3 grandchildren, so I can't just not answer but I will have my oldest (9yrs old) answer and talk to her. Sometimes I get away with not even having to say hello. As much as my rant was to vent about her it was also a pep talk both to myself and anyone else that has someone like this in their lives. As mush as she drives me crazy and for numerous reasons I can't just write her off completely, I AM in charge of my own happiness. Everytime she gets in my head, I just think something positve, an achievement I've made, goal I've reached without her supoport and I feel better. This is a journey that I am on but I'm doing this not just for myself but also for my kids and my husband. And it's because I love my husband that I won't allow his mother to drive a wedge between us. He knows how crazy she is. He avoids talking to her too hahahaha.

I believe all of us here, on this forum and going through WLS, are brave beyond words. We are strong and able. We are a message to everyone that we have the ability to change our future.

[Sistersuz 14]

Sounds like she is envious of the positive attention you are getting ??? You are doing great. Stick with it and she will be miserable with your continued success!!!!

[Debi Amador 120]

I have an evil mother-in-law of my own and I have just decided that she must speak to my husband (her son) and she isn't allowed to put her negativity on me. You just have to keep doing it for others and start only worrying about you.

[Ania40 7]

Hi, I had surgery on 7/24 and lost 28 lbs. so you're not doing different than any other people. And as for mother in law..., I have one like that too but she lives with me... The best thing to do..., don't talk. I don't talk to her unless is emergency and this way she's not asking me every day how much I lost and what I can eat.

[shellyd88 463]

Amen to what these ladies are saying I too had a MIL that liked to discuss everyone's business and gossip and make comments and criticize anything I did with a husband her son who would say oh she doesn't mean anything by it ughhh talk about not seeing the forest for the trees lol anyway I agree distance yourself as much as possible don't confide in her as you know the result and if she asks questions everything is fine doing well moving along etc and change subject to a totally diff topic lol or have to make a call return an email walk the dog pay the bills etc u get the idea sometimes u just can't be nice to certain ppl I hate to say it but it's true good luck