Family unsupportive?

[Chrystee 838]

I have thought about getting bariatric surgery for a very long time.. over 10 years. Now that I've finally gotten my husband Ok with it, and I have made my consultation appt, my sister and mother are now really coming out as unsupportive about it! I'm really shocked. My sister is my best friend and she almost seems angry that I've made this decision..

Anyone else have experience?

[Mellyb251 30]

Yes, mostly it comes from a place of fear. If they are willing to go to a seminar you might find they will relax. My parents were against it and never agreed with it, but they are at peace with it now since they see I'm getting healthy and totally fine.

[Chrystee 838]

So it may be this way until after my surgery?

[Mellyb251 30]

It may be. For me I decided to give my family their time and space when it came to the surgery - I sought support from a therapist and found a great Facebook group for folks going through surgery at the same time. I found with this other support, I didn't need to worry my family when I had worries.

It's hard for sure, but don't give up on yourself.

[BookWorm 87]

Is the support you get from them going to sway you one way or the other? Meaning, if they don't support the decision are you not going to do it? Would it be easier if you had it, probably. However, if it isn't going to stop you from doing it, let it go and focus on taking the steps to get healthier and recovering. Eventually, they will come around.

[mbrinmn 105]

I have thought about getting bariatric surgery for a very long time.. over 10 years. Now that I've finally gotten my husband Ok with it, and I have made my consultation appt, my sister and mother are now really coming out as unsupportive about it! I'm really shocked. My sister is my best friend and she almost seems angry that I've made this decision..

Anyone else have experience?

Remember that this all about you, not them. Everyone has a different opinion about this surgery, even my supportive friends were hesitant about it. You'll get a million different opinions, but the only one that counts is your own. While it may be very nice to have their support, if your husband is on board, then you have all you need

If they make you feel that uncomfortable, ask them not to bring up the subject and ask your husband not to divulge anything to them. Then go through your steps, have the surgery, and let them see your successes after the fact.

I didn't even tell my parents or my sister until after I got out of the hospital and back home. Now it's a moot point. Sometimes it's not always best to share EVERYTHING with EVERYONE...even if you do consider them your best friend/sister. It's nice your husband is supportive.

For me the surgery was quick and the recovery has been amazingly fast. I didn't even need someone to "take care of me" after about the 2nd day after surgery. I came home days after surgery and didn't require any support of any kind...as in physical support. But since you and your spouse are close physically and emotionally, it will be really nice to have that kind of support close by. It has been 3 week today since my surgery. I'm eating pretty regular foods, just mashing, smooshing, or pureeing stuff. I have not residual pain other than my incision areas are itching as they scab over and heal. I don't live with anyone and it has been a piece of cake for me. If something were to go wrong, I'd just call an ambulance or get myself to an ER. Probably at that time I'd maybe tell my family about the situation...or maybe not. I'm 50 and don't feel the need to share everything with my family at all times even though I love them all very dearly.

If you want to chat more, my email is mbrinmn@gmail.com. I'll be happy to be your long distance support as you go through the process.

Good luck,

Marybeth

[Chrystee 838]

Thanks everyone.. I'd love to talk to you MaryBeth!

I have two young children, ages 7 and 15 months. The baby is getting around great, and our plan is to have my babysitter keep them overnight, and I go home the next day. He will take them to the babysitter during the day, and my boss already approved me to work at home for 2 weeks while I am recovering.

He was majorly against it for years, and now does support me. He's really the only one I care about it. I do think they are coming from fears.

thanks.

[Chrystee 838]

And yes, my husband said that we will just keep the surgery to ourselves.

[Shell88 157]

My family has flip flopped so much with this whole issue. My parents urged me for years to get it done, and my fiance was dead against it. Now he's great with it, and my mom is questioning whether I "should just do it myself without doing surgery."

[marieteresa 1]

I'm so sorry that they are acting like that. I just had my sleeve done 9/23. Without the support of my husband and mother it would have been difficult. I went thru the entire process and did not tell anyone but my husband until my surgery was scheduled. My sister also was not supportive. No reaction positive or negative. She acted like I said I was going for manicure. The night b4 surgery I actually cried cause she didn't call, text or email me. Good luck. I hope they all come around.