secret surgery: what else can you tell someone if they ask?

[Rovobay 920]

I have decided to keep my surgery a secret. Major reason for keeping it a secret is lack of understanding and all the misconceptions. I don't like to justify myself, plus I am pretty private.

so my question is, if it does come out that I had surgery, what can I tell them that would jive with a VSG? gerd surgery? haital hernia repair? I need something good, if it comes up.

I am a week out of surgery now and have this week off of work. no one knows why I took off time. told them it was just a staycation. told no family. but I had auto reply on my work e-mail and sister (with a mouth the size of texas) sent me an e-mail to work and had my auto reply kick back to her. Now she knows that I was off..... she asked if I was on vacation and I replied "yup". hopefully it can die there.... but if not.

[S(he) be(lie)ve(d) 151]

I totally understand where you are coming from. I just wanted to surround myself with my positive support people. Only 4 people knew that I was going to have surgery. There have been a few people that have asked if I was ok. Mainly from my kiddos' school, or running into them in town running to the store, etc. I just say that I had a Hiatal Hernia repair. I did. It was a large one. So, I'm not lying. I'm just not telling them all the details of my surgery. This was my decision and I didn't want to hear opinions of others, negative comments or be gossiped about. My sister in law is horrible. Her nickname in our family is "Mouth". If she knows the whole town and surrounding towns know too. Ugh! It is so high school and that was 20 years ago. Like I told my hubby, if I have to go to the bathroom, I don't need to tell everyone about my business that goes on behind a closed door. People don't need to know all the details of every aspect of your life. Privacy is a good thing. But, you do need to have the positive support system that you can trust to do just that. It is important for your overall well being.

[butterfyeffect 257]

Medically speaking, a gall bladder surgery, or a hernia repair would jive with the recovery time and scars from VSG. If you still have your gall bladder, I would go with the hernia repair though... it could be embarrassing to explain if you do in fact need to have it taken out down the road (lots of WLS patients do). For that matter, you could just say it was an exploratory laparotomy to investigate some random stomach pains that you had been having, but they didn't find anything.

[woo woo 872]

I just went with stomach surgery and left it at that. People are generally too polite to pry any further than that.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

I went with two-week staycation for most people and, for family, a hiatal hernia repair.

End of problem.

Oh, and I was one of those who had to have gall bladder surgery post-VSG. Four weeks later, in fact. So now I can explain the holes in my tummy if anyone winds up seeing them.

Other people are actually less interested in our stuff than we believe.

A.

[JamieLogical 8,684]

I just said "surgery" to most of my coworkers to explain the time off and that was it. Only my boss' boss (a dear friend of mine), one of my friends in another department, and the HR rep that received my FMLA paperwork know what kind of surgery I had. As for family, my husband, parents, and sisters know. I don't know if they've told any extended family and I don't really care if they do. Luckily, my family (and extended family) are all very loving and supportive, so I'm not worried about more of them finding out. Oh, I also told my husband's parents. I don't know if they told any of his siblings or not.

[Krazyklaws 9]

I only told my partner and two of my closest friends about my op. I didn't tell my work what I was having done, just referred to a 'minor op' and was vague. Now that it's done, I've told everyone that it was a hiatal hernia repair. It's not a complete lie, as I did end up having quite a major one as part of my surgery. Symptoms all fit, including the dodgy eating - a full third of my stomach was in my chest cavity so it's expected that I'd struggle to eat properly for awhile. Plus, if you ever need one in future, it could happen twice.

It would be really embarrassing to have your gall bladder or appendix out again!!!

Good luck with everything x

[Rovobay 920]

Thanks all for the replies. I think I will fall back on haital hernia if I need too. I'll just deflect.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Don't tell fibs. What happens if you really do gave to have a hernia repaired.? Just tell them you had to have a personal issue repaired but you're doing great now and leave it at that.

[HaddocksEyes 205]

I have decided to keep my surgery a secret. Major reason for keeping it a secret is lack of understanding and all the misconceptions. I don't like to justify myself, plus I am pretty private.

so my question is, if it does come out that I had surgery, what can I tell them that would jive with a VSG? gerd surgery? haital hernia repair? I need something good, if it comes up.

I am a week out of surgery now and have this week off of work. no one knows why I took off time. told them it was just a staycation. told no family. but I had auto reply on my work e-mail and sister (with a mouth the size of texas) sent me an e-mail to work and had my auto reply kick back to her. Now she knows that I was off..... she asked if I was on vacation and I replied "yup". hopefully it can die there.... but if not.

I've been telling people I had hernia surgery. I didn't come back to work drastically skinny and it looks like I will be a slow loser, so I think I am going to be good. Just don't want to share with anyone at work.

Unfortunately, I don't have any suggestions for the family part of things. I did tell my family for two reasons (1) it would be too hard to try and explain away why I can't eat very much because two family members have already had weight loss surgery (one on each side) that were open about it so people would be like "yeah, now tell us the truth" and (2) I have family members that desperately need to lose weight so if I can be a good role model, I am so there!

[Sleeve2bFree~Tlea 23]

I thought about keeping it a secret because I knew most everyone I know would disagree with it. Of coarse I was right. People become very judgmental thinking the reasons I've made this decision is out of vanity. No one takes into consideration all my medical issues that I've had for years and how this surgery will help me come off some of these meds, lose some of thes diagnoses and gain my life back. And yeah, I hate being fat. I cant stand the way I look or how uncomfortable I am all the time. I've had to defend myself several times since making this decision. I then decided who cares what they think. I'm doing this for myself not them. The funny thing is the main people judging me is my overweight family. They also think it's the easy way out. Ha!!! I'm one month out and so far there's been nothing easy about it. Not to mention the continued health and exercise maintenance that is required. Idiots!! My advice is... Don't lie about it. Be proud of the decision you've made to turn your life around. The criticism only makes us stronger. Let them deal with their sin of judgment.

[gabbykittyvsg 184]

I am not planning to tell most people. My plan is to tell people who inquire about weight loss I'm doing a lot of hard work and participating in an intensive medically supervised program, which is the absolute truth since the surgery is only a small part of the program I'm going through. I am also not going to tell anyone outside of my bariatric team how much weight I've lost.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Sleeve2bFree ... that's tough dealing with family members who are idiots.

That's precisely why I didn't tell any of my family. I didn't want to EVER have to have any of those conversations.

[Melissayw816 62]

I feel like your business is your business, people are rude as he'll when it comes to surgery and procedures because they have no knowledge, no understanding of what is going on, or even what it's like to live in a body like ours..close friends and family members yes I will tell because they have your best interest at heart. But like random co-workers and friends of friends! No..its your life you made this decision, it's no ones business but your own. I wouldn't give no explanation other than I am having surgery. If they pry further just say: I rather not discus my medical problems with people. They will get the picture and keep it moving imo!

[Alumace 53]

I plan to only tell close friends and family however no doubt my dad will tell my uncles etc who I rarely ever talk too. But who cares I'm trying to fell better and get better for myself. Who I have told that I plan to have the op said to get it get it or do it do it as told from a friend on Facebook lol.

If my dads side of the family disagree to hell with them as long as I end up healthier and happy that's all that counts rite.