The journey of a thousand miles...

[Lallylocks 111]

Hi all...

I'm 10 days away from VSG. I've waited over 4 years for this. I considered it for a long time before pursuing it. At 31 I decided I was tired of feeling like an old lady and worrying more and more about the impact on my health.

I have a strong family history, on both sides, of heart disease, diabetes, and cancers. Considering the weight I was at, my diet, and sedentary lifestyle I was really tempting fate. Luckily, I have had few complications to this point. I was always taller, and bigger than my peers in childhood, but not overweight. Kids can be cruel though, singling out those who are different. Boy, was I different! I was intelligent, imaginative, didn't like the things other kids liked, and started adolescence very early. In my tweens we moved to live with my granny and keep an eye on her...we left an area where I was able to bike to all my friends, and to a new rural location. food was always something I liked, but I was active, and my mom watched what I ate. My granny spoiled us with treats, and I became less active. I was teased all the time. If you get told bad things about yourself long enough you start to believe them. In my late teens I barely fit misses' sizes, and was starting to wear plus sizes. My weight took off from that point on. In my 20's I was in the high 200's. Before I started nursing school I started exercising and lost about 50 pounds. When I started school I had a new boyfriend. The relationship wasn't a good one. All that weight came right back, and then some. I passed the 300 mark. Near the midway point in my degree I met a new guy, who seemed great. We married when I was done school. In a matter of months I moved out of my parents' home, started a career and was married. The change was major. After a while it became obvious the relationship was a mistake. I struggled with stress. We fought. I was glad when it all fell apart after 3 and a hlaf years. The divorce was not pretty. I had turned 30 months earlier.

I decided I had to do something different, or I was going to die before my parents. I had looked after super-obese patients in my career and knew what was in store for me. I was afraid. I asked my doc for a referral (for the second time) to Dr. B. Amson for bariatric surgery. I was seeing someone new who just sort of came into my life, and was pretty amazing. He came with me to that first appointment, and has been through the process with me. I read the books, I went to a group, I contacted other patients, I was screened for OSA... Not surprisingly, I had severe OSA. I've snored like a buzzsaw since I was a small child. In my teens friends at sleepovers told me I stopped breathing at times. I've been on antidepressants since I was 23 to help with my irritability and moodiness. I've had chronic recurrent lower back pain/sciatica since halfway through nursing school. Last fall after years of erratic periods I was diagnosed with PCOS. I'm now being treated for that. At my heaviest I was a shade of 370, at 5'8".

At that time, two years ago, I left the job I had held for 4 years and hated. I moved away from the town and province I was born and raised in, leaving behind friends and family. My partner supported me and together we moved to Saskatchewan. I hadn't made enough progress for Dr. Amson to deem me ready for surgery. I wasn't sure if I should stay with Dr. Amson, or see someone here. I asked for a referral to the program in this province. I tried to get a recommendation from Amson to speed the process here. I heard nothing. This spring I contacted Amson's office ahead of a visit home to see my mother and father. I made an appointment to see him. It was an interesting visit, and a productive one. Suddenly I was scheduled for appointments with his nutritionist, an internist at the urgent medical assessment clinic, overnight oximetry to test my CPAP, and an upper GI. I was told it could happen this year. I hardly dared believe it. I had lost almost 10 pounds since I was last at his office...which I attribute to working in a fast-paced environment, andlimited access to the junk food and fast food I had been living on before. I started eating smarter after that visit, and exercising. I lost about 25 pounds. I'm now 2 and a half weeks in to my pre-op liquid diet, and am down another 15. My workouts are easier. I still miss "normal" food, but I'm ready. I want this.

I'm looking forward to having more energy, being able to do more...less aches and pains. I can't wait to fit in one airplane seat and see the world. I am excited to ride roller coasters again. I'm also really stoked about having more clothing choices with better prices!

I've been very open about it. Some people have tried to dissuade me from this surgery. I understand that they mean well. I take no offense. I'm doing this for me, to get a bit of a rolling start. I know it won't be easy, but I am ready to work.

Good luck to everyone waiting for their surgery!