Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

an observation



Recommended Posts

I went on a blind date Wednesday night and saw that the gentleman was overweight. It didn't matter to me at all because he was very nice and we got along well, but it turns out that we did discuss the fact that he's lost more than 80 lbs. and wants to lose another 40. He needed to lose weight because of a knee replacement and I went ahead and told him about my hip replacement surgery and that I too had to lose weight so I would have an optimal outcome.

He looked at me like I had two heads. I assured him that I struggled with my weight and even laughingly said that if we got along well enough, I'd think about showing him some less flattering pictures of me in the future.

Amazing right? Here's this man who presumes because I'm a small person, that I don't struggle with weight. It just goes to show that you can never EVER presume anything by what you see on the outside. This is what makes an eating disorder so insidious. If you are involved in any other type of negative behavior, no one need know. But a food addiction?? We can't hide it... and it's there for all to see and judge.

I find that I feel like I'm hiding the real me behind this small body. I always thought I was hiding the real me behind my big body but now I see that I'm just hiding period. I think I need to discuss this with my therapist so I make sure not to sabotage my success. This process really is two steps forward, one step back.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I totally get this. People who are just getting to know me now are amazed when they hear me talk about my weight loss, or they see pictures of me from "before." They mean well in what they say, but it makes me cringe. I no longer answer in specifics when I am randomly asked how much I have lost. I just say "a LOT." The number I am so proud of when I think about what I have accomplished sounds horrific when I tell it to someone who is curious...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, it seems like you two have a lot in common even before you get to know him any better!!!!!!! And even though you are 100% correct on the steps forward and backward......... the trend is FORWARD PROGRESS....... Enjoy the FALL in NEW YORK! Tammie

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When are you coming back this way Tammi? All my gals want to go to NO but no one is taking charge...and Christmas will be here before you know it. I don't think it's gonna happen... :(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I totally get this. People who are just getting to know me now are amazed when they hear me talk about my weight loss, or they see pictures of me from "before." They mean well in what they say, but it makes me cringe. I no longer answer in specifics when I am randomly asked how much I have lost. I just say "a LOT." The number I am so proud of when I think about what I have accomplished sounds horrific when I tell it to someone who is curious...

That before picture you posted yesterday broke my heart. You looked so sad and defeated and I just wanted to cry. I have a smile on my face in my before pics so you can't see the terribly unhappy person I was. But just like you, I stayed on life's sideline and did not participate in anything. Not any more thank goodness.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So some of you ladies know me, from my posts and some have met me in person. I have always been out there and larger then life in more ways then one!

I have a big mouth, a sharp wit a comedic sense of timing lots of opinions, observations, and constructive criticism and I am not afraid to use and share them all. :)

I don't think I have ever been good at hiding because of this...I have never been able to just "blend in" with the crowd. Strangers come up and talk to me even when I am sending out the **ck off vibe. Since WLS I really try not to bite the heads off of people too often they tend to get stuck.

(OK only kidding I'm not a cannibal but just getting me in that kind of mood really can cinch that band which only makes my mood worse)

Talk about judging a book by it's cover! Most people encounter my awesome hubby and they think Uh oh don't piss that guy off he might pound you into the ground!

Big or small he's still got the arms and shoulders of Popeye and his voice is deep and he has a bit of a growl. Little do they know that he's the most gentle person and they really should be asking him for directions and help because this little blond green eyed chick just might have to make you cry! :)

There are days when I wish I could hide, and I want to hide and honestly sometimes I do. I'll lock myself up in my bedroom and just turn off the world for a little bit. I love doing all the things I do, and I love being with people and I don't care much about how I look or they look, I'm not the house inspector I don't care about your job or car or any of that BS. I just enjoy life, I have seen and been a part of too much tragedy in life I learned at a young age that you have to just suck it up for all it's worth every second and every chance you get.

I have my days don't get me wrong, but when I need to disconnect I do. Sometimes it's more difficult then others, and when I don't the universe comes along and does it for me. You know like getting rear ended and getting sick and being forced to just take it easy even if I want to do a million things :)

You ladies all are looking amazing and I hope you are feeling as amazing about yourselves. Because it's not just about your look it's about who you are! With all your good advice and stuff that you share here you are nothing short of that so get out there and enjoy!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow. That is very insightful, it really sounds like you are doing your part with your therapist! Good for you, I know with your motivated attitude- you are going to succeed! :-)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Headed NORTH again in November......but, to see the oldest daughter in BALTIMORE. We might make a day trip to NYC. I'll let you know.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Headed NORTH again in November......but, to see the oldest daughter in BALTIMORE. We might make a day trip to NYC. I'll let you know.

Oh I hope so. Everything well?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • cryoder22

      Day 1 of pre-op liquid diet (3 weeks) and I'm having a hard time already. I feel hungry and just want to eat. I got the protein and supplements recommend by my program and having a hard time getting 1 down. My doctor / nutritionist has me on the following:
      1 protein shake (bariatric advantage chocolate) with 8 oz of fat free milk 1 snack = 1 unjury protein shake (root beer) 1 protein shake (bariatric advantage orange cream) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein bar 1 protein shake (bariatric advantace orange cream or chocolate) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein soup (chicken) 3 servings of sugar free jello and popsicles throughout the day. 64 oz of water (I have flavor packets). Hot tea and coffee with splenda has been approved as well. Does anyone recommend anything for the next 3 weeks?
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        All I can tell you is that for me, it got easier after the first week. The hunger pains got less intense and I kind of got used to it and gave up torturing myself by thinking about food. But if you can, get anything tempting out of the house and avoid being around people who are eating. I sent my kids to my parents' house for two weeks so I wouldn't have to prepare meals I couldn't eat. After surgery, the hunger was totally gone.

    • buildabetteranna

      I have my final approval from my insurance, only thing holding up things is one last x-ray needed, which I have scheduled for the fourth of next month, which is my birthday.

      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BetterLeah

      Woohoo! I have 7 more days till surgery, So far I am already down a total of 20lbs since I started this journey. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Well done! I'm 9 days away from surgery! Keep us updated!

    • Ladiva04

      Hello,
      I had my surgery on the 25th of June of this year. Starting off at 117 kilos.😒
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Congrats on the surgery!

    • Sandra Austin Tx

      I’m 6 days post op as of today. I had the gastric bypass 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×