Distorted Self Image

[ranece 62]

I find that the closer I get to my surgery date, the less attractive I find myself. What's going on here I always prided myself as a BBW(Big Beautiful Woman), but now I see a "fat" slob. I'm seeing flaws that I have never seen before. I'm wondering if this is how the world have been seeing me for years. I dress nicely I get my hair and nails done; however now I'm just not feeling sexy or beautiful. I keep fantasizing about who I might be or what I will look like after surgery. Can anyone else identify with this? I know it sounds crazy trust me I'm a counselor but I still can't help but to critically observe myself. I know surgery is not the answer but I would like to wear the clothes in my closet and they fit. Is that too much to ask for? Just getting this off my chest!

[jusmettb 7]

Ranece, I totally get where you are coming from. I am waiting on my surgery date. I've had days of feeling the same way. I think that it is me finally realizing where I am and being fed up with not doing anything about it. I had to come to terms with the fact that I've been diagnosed as "morbidly obese" - For years I've ignored it. Coming to terms with it has been and is very hard. But you know what I've decided that while I'm waiting I am going to keep myself together. I'm going to dress nice and do my very best to love myself enough to take care of myself now while waiting. I challenge you to do the same. While we are waiting let's Love, Laugh and Live! No matter what we are worth it! Don't be so hard on yourself. You've taking steps to change your atmosphere. Do it positively! Sincerely ~ Tracy

[ranece 62]

Thank you Tracy. I needed that. What date is your surgery scheduled and do you have support?

[jusmettb 7]

I'm am in the process of getting all of my clearances done. I had my labs, upper GI series,abdominal ultra sound & an EGD. I'll have my psych eval next.

I will see my surgeon on 9/18, at the time all of my info should be available to submit to my insurance company for approval. I'm hoping to have the RNY before the holidays. Yes I do have support. Outside of my family I have a support group that meets every second Tuesday of each month, along with a few friends who had the procedure. This website is pretty awesome also. Feel free to reach out to me anytime.

[ranece 62]

Thank you for reaching out to me. I have my surgery September 30th. Anxious as heck!

[InspirationMySon 135]

I think prior to going thru the process I had an image of a smaller person in my mind. Then I would catch sight of myself & be like wow that's not what I always see. I too do my hair & get it done. I slack on my nails but I do file & clear coat them, & I do try to dress nice so I hear you. I'm also wondering what the new me will look like. I bet that we'll all be just as fabulous only healthier!

[shellyd88 463]

I think prior to going thru the process I had an image of a smaller person in my mind. Then I would catch sight of myself & be like wow that's not what I always see. I too do my hair & get it done. I slack on my nails but I do file & clear coat them, & I do try to dress nice so I hear you. I'm also wondering what the new me will look like. I bet that we'll all be just as fabulous only healthier!

[shellyd88 463]

I think prior to going thru the process I had an image of a smaller person in my mind. Then I would catch sight of myself & be like wow that's not what I always see. I too do my hair & get it done. I slack on my nails but I do file & clear coat them, & I do try to dress nice so I hear you. I'm also wondering what the new me will look like. I bet that we'll all be just as fabulous only healthier!

Hi I would just like to say pls don't be discouraged from trying to get healthy I'm just starting my journey with this process and u are fabulous being overweight doesn't make u a fat slob or any of those stereotypes we all want to feel confident and attractive so keep doing your nails and hair and dressing nice as u always have and keep putting one foot in front of the other and moving forward you will be even more fabulous good luck!

[InspirationMySon 135]

Oh good no! I don't think that at all I wanted you to realize you aren't alone. I was/am because obviously I haven't dropped a lot of weight yet a little shocked to see what I look like. I am pretty active & I sometimes just don't expect to see a "fat" person looking back that's all. Even if when I am naked I can see all the physical changes to my body from old surgeries & having a baby & just the state my stomach is currently in makes me a little sad. Hence why I went with life altering surgery to get back to where I might not be surprised when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror at least not in a bad way

[BeagleLover 1,020]

"You" are not your weight. There are SO many factors in someone gaining and holding onto extra weight. Please don't beat yourself up over it. Kudos to you for recognizing that you need a tool to help you get healthy, stay healthy and taking the steps to do so!

[James Marusek 5,244]

I was not into my physical appearance before surgery. Most times I would hardly look at myself in the mirror. It was only when I saw myself in a photograph that I was shocked by my excess weight. After my weight loss, I was surprised by how I could buy good looking clothes and radically change my appearance. It was a good turn on. I dropped from a size 3XL down to a size small in shirts and from a size 46 down to a 33 in pants size. I am an excellent bargain shopper and found it to be very enjoyable to hunt down the latest styles at bargain prices. I replaced my entire wardrobe. Good luck on your surgery and getting back to marvelous.

[shellyd88 463]

Thank you everyone for the support I too had that photograph moment when I really saw myself as others do and was in total shock I hope to succeed on this path I know I have such a long road ahead

[ranece 62]

James I can't wait to replace my entire wardrobe too. Thank you for your story