Lack of Support

[traveler60 42]

So I am single, no kids. A few people at work know 1 commented on me taking the easy way out. My best friend, who is very overweight, thinks I am making a huge mistake. She thinks WLS is dangerous and if we gained it on our own we should fix it ourselves. I am very close to my sister but weight is a touchy subject. She has always been thin and is very judge mental about weight so I am afraid to tell her. On the other hand it does seem wrong not to tell her in case something goes wrong. Advice please. And thank goodness for this forum or I would have no support at all

[Satters84 3]

Hi Traveler60

I have yoyo'd with all kinds of diets, trust me it's not through lack of trying that I haven't lost weight.

The decision to go ahead WLS is not a decision you take lightly, you need to put yourself first. I have sisters who didn't understand or support my decision. But I decided to write a letter to them all explaining why I needed to do this and what I was going to get out of it. Maybe that's one way you can let your sister know what you want to do.

I think your really brave to go ahead with it, it's hard and I'm on my fourth day but it's worth it.

Good luck and remember we are all here for you

Satters

[Momof2inIowa 195]

I am so sorry about all of the people you have around you, it is most certainly harder without a good support network behind you. What I do know is 4 months out I am down 86 lbs and feel better than I have in YEARS and I know that you will too. There are support groups that are normally within your practice when you have surgery so I would use them to the full extent, see if you can find some local sleevers to help you out, I would be happy to be on your team as I am very PRO Sleeve.

A message to your co-worker, IT'S NOT EASY that's for sure...it's a uphill battle to make sure that you get in all of the Vitamins and nutrients that your body needs. Sounds like a very uninformed individual and shame on them for even saying that. I decided that this was the year for ME, I always put everyone ahead of myself and in order for me to get better for them (Husband and kids) I need to be better for myself.

You do this for yourself hun and in a couple of months all those co-workers will be jealous of the hot new you!! WE are all here for you, don't think for a moment you are alone!

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

This is for YOU. Be strong and do not let anyone convince you it's not right for you. I have no regrets.

[McButterpants 2,846]

This is your choice - no one has to live with your body and your head. If you want the surgery and are ready for it...do it. Everyone has their opinions and that's fine - you can reply, "I appreciate your opinion and I'll take it into consideration, but the final decision is mine and I hope you'll support me in that decision."

Be strong and have confidence in your decision. Do this for you, no one else.

Nothing drives me as crazy as "the easy way out" argument...Yeah, living on shakes for months, having surgery to remove most of a major organ, working thru emotional issues, etc. Yeah, it's been easy!

I'm sorry you don't have a great support system - come here, there are plenty of people that will support you. Also, see if your doctor or hospital has a support group, most do. You will need people to talk to - either in person or on line. It's in valuable to network with people that are going thru the same thing.

[boricuagirl956 6]

Hello traveler,

I was going through the same, you are not alone. At work they were telling me that "I'm too young to be having a surgery", "why don't you do a diet like a normal person" "having surgery is extreme "....It's hard to hear these comments specially from the ones you love. As of today my dad and my boyfriend don't want me to do it. But, I still want to do it.

People are going to talk about you no matter what you do. But, only we know that is not as easy as they paint it. Don't ask them if they are ok with your surgery tell them how you feel and for them to support you.

Be sure your self why you want to do it. Do it for you! And ask yourself :"If i don't do it am I willing to live the rest of my life like this? " Or are you willing to do something that is risky but that at the same time will give you in the future all you want!

you will be fine (:

[Queen of Crop 1,103]

Hello Traveler......you are the SAME weight and SAME height I was when I was sleeved 3 years ago.....it changed my life....at first I only told a few trusted friends.....I was lucky to have a support group, but as time went on I realized I had nothing to be ashamed about....I was taking control of my own life and if someone felt I was taking the easy way out or was judgemental in anyway, then hey, that was THEIR problem. For me? I love my life now and my only regret is that I did not do it sooner. You will gain your health back, your looks, and your confidence and then you will feel better about surrounding yourself with new friends! Go get 'em!!!!

[traveler60 42]

Thank you all for the support. I know this is the right decision for me and the only way for me to have a healthy life. I think over the past 40 years, like many of us, I tried everything else. I guess I just need to not care what anyone else thinks

[Sas322 19]

Traveler I worried about people thinking I took the easy way too but after years and years of struggles I made this decision for me. It's not easy and it's not like you sit around and weight just melts off. (I wish). It's just now when I diet correctly and exercise I will see results and be able to live a long healthy life. I've told very few people because it's no ones business. I'm eating healthy for my life and I'm happy about it. Proud of you for doing something for you. Your overweight friend knows the struggle but probably doesn't have the courage to take control of her own problems and doesn't want you to leave her alone in "overweight land". Misery loves company, right. Hang in there and do what you need for you.

[finediva 979]

Hi, I had my surgery two months ago. To this day I have shared my decision with NO ONE. I did this for me and did not want anyone's opinion on my decision. I thank God for this forum, because it gave me a place to come and be with people going through similar experiences. I have deal with the lack of friend and family support well. The only two people who I would of shared this with, and received total support from, left this life 9 yrs ago. So, I chose to go it alone.

Try to get into your own head and simply focus on your goals and dreams. Keep the debbie downers and negative nellies far away!. Some people don't know how to be kind and supportive and some just don't want to.

[Chimera 644]

I am so sorry you have a lack of support - the boards are a great place to get that much needed support.

I am still working my way to goal - gee if this was easy one would think I would have gotten there smooth sailing in the first 6 months to a year. Even with this marvelous tool - you are still the one who gets to do the work, thats all it is. A valuable tool to assist in this difficult process.

I too thought WL surgery was risky, and thought it was a very bad idea until my sister in law had a bypass and experienced

stunning success, with no complications.

I had bad co-morbidities going in to surgery - which as one gets older only get worse if you are obese. Every single one has been resolved within 6 months, well osteo-arthritis is not reversible, but its like I have a new set of knees. When my husband and I went to the informational seminar and our surgeon (he got a sleeve too) outlined the statistics of how much long term success is achieved and maintained through diet and exercise when you have 100+ lbs to lose...something around 2% (and who hasn't experienced this themselves in their own lose/regain cycle - I know I have) and the stats of success with better health post WL surgery I was convinced.

WL surgery was hands down the best thing many of my own family members have ever done for themselves. Bar None.

Best of luck and don't listen to the fretting of people who don't have experience with a procedure and lifestyle such as ours. There is a lot of friendship and wisdom here if one cant find it within our family/friends/co-workers

[auntjanny 289]

I think we, as sleeved peeps, have been so fortunate to have gone through this process.

While some might say it is the easy way, I say it is my BEST way, and because of having it (2 weeks ago), it is going to be so much easier to embrace exercise, healthy eating, and getting back to living life. #AllHailTheYearOfAuntJanny