Was I emotional or justified? Lost a friend

[Jersrose43 837]

So u reconnected several years ago with an old high school friend. She had gained a lot of weight and we saw eah other at weight watchers.

I lost 12 pounds in 6 months and she lost 50.

Fast forward 5 years we're good friends. Hang out at least once a month and she went in vaca with me to Florida this spring.

She's lost 80 pounds and still has 150 to go and determined. I have supported her the whole way. She started teaching Zumba I started going with her and telling people about her classes, for instance.

She is single I have a family

She is bitter about past issues, lives In the past can't get over past hurts some real some perceived.

I am blunt and tell her she had to get over these things to move on. She just can't. Can't get over a divorce from 18 years ago, wrongs done by a friend in high school 25 years ago, and just bitter.

Frankly the bitterness has been getting to me a lot, especially since surgery.

When I told her I was doing this she was completely negative - I know blah blah regained it all blah blah.

I should get lap band and consider that first or come to more Zumba and go vegetarian as she did and lose 80 pounds. Well that is not what works for me.

A few weeks ago we were at a friends and she was watching me eat and was super critical in my opinion

She would never have this because look at my sacrifice and stupidity of this "diet". And how I would have to eat animal flesh forever etc etc

Last week she critiqued my ALS bucket challenge. Basically posted on my Facebook that people who do it are stupid idiots. Mknd you I dedicated it to my father in law whondied of ALS 2 years ago.

So two nights ago I responded to her post of how she has followers on Facebook and how to correct it. She posts her Zumba stuff and her friends do as well and people follow her.

She responds that it was twitter and doesn't use it. So I say deactivate the account. Her response ... Duh if I wanted to deactivate it I would. And proceeds to ask if any other friends can respond. Really? I felt dismissed, offended and said so and responded she didn't have to be such a jerk about it.

I then defriended her and unfollowed her on FB.

I sent her an email that she had hurt my feelings. And what I got back was that I had called her a name and saw only my side. And that I should go hang our with some of those old HS friends she still has I'll feelings toward.

Like really? Is it my emotions or am I crazy? I just don't feel supported and she is bitter. She has never asked me how I feel how I am doing just criticized that one meal quite extensively.

[Blue Sky 89]

I think your last paragraph answers the question of your topic. How can you lose something u never had? I found that In your relationships people will either add to, multiply/or subtract and divide from your life. Seems like she was doing the latter and u made the right decision!

[Miss Mac 6,262]

You are not crazy. It sounds like a toxic one-sided relationship to me. Good riddance to bad rubbish. Find somewhere to volunteer and make new friends there.

[BitterSweet* 835]

Letting go of toxic friends is similar to eating chocolate, winning the MegaMillions lotto, and having an orgasm, all at the same time. Release her and let her spew that negativity elsewhere. Retain the good memories of her and let go of the other things. You have enough to focus on right now. And if you think she's negative now, wait until you're tiny. You haven't seen bitter yet.

Once I lost the weight, I'd get all dolled up, put on some cute Victoria's Secret workout clothes and go take her Zumba class. If bishes want to talk about you, give them a reason to.

[Mrs. Reid 392]

It sounds to me like this was a toxic relationship. Leave her behind and move on.

[Jersrose43 837]

Thank you guys.

I've really not hidden this surgery and everyone has been so supportive in my life or they've chosen not to say anything. Which is also fine. This is the first friend who has been critical

There ore other things hat I've done for her that I didn't go into

I have lost many friends over the years and made new ones. We all change. I like to think I put myself out there for my friends and my husband even criticizes that i give a lot to my fiends that he wishes he would get sometimes. So when I am accused of being unsupportive and criticized after being so supportive it really really really hurts.

I am feeling hurt but sad as well as I don't think she will ever change. I tried to get her there to no avail

[finediva 979]

@@Jersrose43 People come into our lives for a reason and a season. When that time is over we have to let them go, or they let us go. Kinda like working in your garden in the fall and spring. While it is sometimes very painful to end friendships it sometimes becomes very necessary. When a relationship is no longer feeding my soul or is constantly causing my anxiety, stress, anger and hurt; I let that person go from mm y life. No argument, no fuss and many times no big explanations. I simply move on from that person. Trust me, the individual knows what happened and why. At this point in my life, if I have no time for negativity and nonsense. Negative Nellies and Debbie Downers, in other words, joy stealer. ....stay away!

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Move on. If you hang on to feeling "hurt and sad" about this person, you're dragging around baggage you have already decided you don't need or want.

Just wave goodbye to her (mentally), wish her well, and ... move on. You'll find more compatible companions.

[JCP 619]

She sounds like a person with a lot of bitterness and negativity in general. Avoid people like that. They drag you down with them. Yes you were friends but some friends are only in our lives for a while. People change. Don't weigh yourself down in this new life with toxic baggage!