Recovery..... do you really need someone the first few weeks?

[bluedreams86 61]

Hello,

I need some advice regarding having someone help me the first few weeks of recovery versus not having anyone to help me and doing recovery on my own alone.

So here is the thing, I live alone in DC and my entire family is in FL. I chose to do it in DC because I really like my surgeon. I am planning on having no help during recovery and I will be taking 4-6 weeks off from work (depends how I feel). My mom thinks I am crazy (maybe she is right) and she says she wants to take the whole month off also to be with me. I feel bad because I don't want to jeopardize her job and I am not really sure that she need to be present. She suffers and worries when she sees me sick. Now, has anyone done the recovery with no help from anyone at home? Do you regret it? Those that help from others at home, were you glad someone was available or keeping you company? Or did you think you could've done this alone? Do you think maybe only the first week is needed?

Also, I haven't asked my surgeon but I was thinking of doing recovery in FL, but I am afraid if there are complications that my surgeon won't be readily available. Also, I still don't know how often I will be seeing him post-surgery. My next appointment is this Thursday, so I will ask him all these questions as well, but I wanted to get your opinion or thoughts on all of this.

Any advice is much appreciated. Thank you!!

Edited August 31, 2014 by bluedreams86

[musiclady2014 16]

I am 11 days post op and have had a few complications (abscessed incision site). My fiancé has been with me every step of the way and I have no clue what I would have done without him. There were times he had to dress me and bathe me. Even before my incision sites became infected he was helping me, but my reliance on him increased drastically when I became sick from the infection.

I am just now doing most things on my own. Although everyone is different and many people recover without a lot of help, if help is available - take it. You never know how the surgery will affect you and what your specific needs will be.

[hcabrooks197 20]

I am 5 days post op. I had my husband take vacation time and the first day I was sending him on stuff he wanted to do. I had laparoscopic gastric bypass. If your mom wanted to send the week with you that would make her feel better but I haven't NEEDED him as much as it was just nice having him there for just in case of. Extra hand to help you off the couch or make a meal when your tired.

Do you have friends that can check on you?

[MaureenS 24]

Hi I had a bypass 7/28. I live alone. Had no complications. For the first couple of days a friend would stop by to see if I needed anything (the company was nice)

But that was it. I was very very weak but managed.

As long as you don't have any complications, you should be fine.

[terry1118 1,274]

I preferred my own company and needed no help.

[ppw 18]

I had no help and recovered nicely. I didn't need any assistance.

[lauramae 26]

My surgery weight was 372 and while I struggle when I'm too weak, I have not needed assistance. Since I couldn't lift right away my sister took out the trash. I do think that just in case you have complications it would be good to have someone available.

[bakawaka 108]

My family was simply not available post surgery - and i was ok. it was challenging. the drain was painful. but i was ok taking care of myself. it would have been helpful to have someone around. but with the right attitude it is possible to get through post surgery alone (in my opinion). i'm not a doctor. so i recommend talking to your surgeon.

[terry1118 1,274]

Hello,

I need some advice regarding having someone help me the first few weeks of recovery versus not having anyone to help me and doing recovery on my own alone.

So here is the thing, I live alone in DC and my entire family is in FL. I chose to do it in DC because I really like my surgeon. I am planning on having no help during recovery and I will be taking 4-6 weeks off from work (depends how I feel). My mom thinks I am crazy (maybe she is right) and she says she wants to take the whole month off also to be with me. I feel bad because I don't want to jeopardize her job and I am not really sure that she need to be present. She suffers and worries when she sees me sick. Now, has anyone done the recovery with no help from anyone at home? Do you regret it? Those that help from others at home, were you glad someone was available or keeping you company? Or did you think you could've done this alone? Do you think maybe only the first week is needed?

Also, I haven't asked my surgeon but I was thinking of doing recovery in FL, but I am afraid if there are complications that my surgeon won't be readily available. Also, I still don't know how often I will be seeing him post-surgery. My next appointment is this Thursday, so I will ask him all these questions as well, but I wanted to get your opinion or thoughts on all of this.

Any advice is much appreciated. Thank you!!

I had no help at all because I didn't need any. I made my husband go to work. I could walk, cook, use the restroom, and get in and out of the Lazyboy by myself. I didn't have a drain (not all doctors do one). For the first few days, especially while taking your narcotic medication, all you really want to do is sleep. I took naps and walked (necessary to relieve gas pains). I prepared my own meals and cooked for my husband. At four days I stopped taking the medication (it made me unsteady on my feet and my pain was almost nonexistent by then) and I began walking up and down my street. At my one week post op I was cleared to drive (you need to be totally off the strong meds for driving). My daughter had driven me to my appointment in my jeep. I drove home, but stopped first to grocery shop. Due to lifting restrictions my daughter had to help me with groceries. The day after my post op appointment I spent 1 1/2 hours cutting my lawn (self-propelled mower push mower). My second week of sick leave felt more like a vacation than recovery time. I walked, shopped, and read my book in the sun on my deck. I felt guilty being at home, relaxing. :-)

[esskay77 785]

My parents came out to help me (they live in another state) and then my sister surprised me by coming out to stay for a bit. If I had to do it again, I wouldn't have any of them come stay with me. I love them each dearly but I ended up feeling like I had to entertain them or talk with them when all I really wanted to do was sleep the first few days. It is helpful to have someone check in with you, either stopping by or calling each day, just in case you do need them or there are complications. But it will depend on you and also what your doctor recommends. I didn't have any complications so I was lucky. I'm not sure how I would have felt if there had been complications. Best of luck.

[terry1118 1,274]

My parents came out to help me (they live in another state) and then my sister surprised me by coming out to stay for a bit. If I had to do it again, I wouldn't have any of them come stay with me. I love them each dearly but I ended up feeling like I had to entertain them or talk with them when all I really wanted to do was sleep the first few days. It is helpful to have someone check in with you, either stopping by or calling each day, just in case you do need them or there are complications. But it will depend on you and also what your doctor recommends. I didn't have any complications so I was lucky. I'm not sure how I would have felt if there had been complications. Best of luck.

Having someone just call or stop in to check on you is a good idea. My mother in law kept checking on on me. It was thoughtful, even though she did it a little too often. Lol. I never needed help but it was reassuring to know she was available if I needed her...

[Cupcake 801]

Hi I had my husband and my children helping me but honestly if you have no complications you can do it on your own I sent my husband back to work the day i got release from the hospital which was was two days after having surgery i could shower by myself and get up and walk around to prepare my food. I would prepare my home with the foods that you need and as long as you have a phone and no complications you should be fine, because I could have went back to work 1 week after of surgery . Good luck my friend and most clinics have 24 hour aftercare hotline you can contact if you have any questions after your surgery.

[tyt221b 63]

I consider myself to be very independent. Although my husband and kids were here with me the first couple of days out of the hospital, I didn't really rely on them for much. The first day my husband brought me my Water, but I could have done it myself. I came home on a Saturday and on Monday the kids went to school and he went to work. I had no problems at home by myself. As long as you're the kind of person who feels comfortable being alone, you should do fine barring any complications.

[pik 262]

My surgery was on Wednesday 7-16 and my fiance was with me all day. I was discharged that Friday, and he was off for me that day as well. Then there was the weekend, so he was off.

It was very helpful to have him with me because I was in quite a bit of pain. I also had a medicine ball and he was the one who changed my bandages every night after I took a shower.

I was pretty weak after the surgery. None of us knows how it is going to be after surgery, we are all different.

If it were me, I would want someone for a couple of days in the beginning...

[Katherine Durkee 9]

I had laproscopic bypass on 8/19. My family did not stay with me (I live alone) but they check on me frequently. I was just fine by myself. I would just have a list of things I needed that I couldn't do myself and when someone came by they would take care of it. Laproscopic is such a dream compared to open surgery. If it weren't for the new diet, this would be a breeze to recover from.

I plan on working from home one more week and then going back to work full time (office work).